I have a friend who we have been friends with for 20 plus years met in high school. I’ve left our hometown she hasn’t for the past five years o have watched my friend put on large amounts of weight To where I can tell she’s uncomfortable and embarrassed but would never admit it I haven’t seen her In a year, and she recently sent me a photo of herself, and I was genuinely shocked by how much weight she had put on I’d say 25-30 kilos, a few years ago she had made a comment about being over 120 kilos and with the recent extra weight gain I’m genuinely worried for her health and wondering if I should say something to her it would come from a place of love and concern, but I don’t want to hurt her or upset her or our friendship thanks!!
So I’ve been in your friend’s position. And for me, it was a very sensitive subject and I didn’t take “advice” from friends very well. Even though I knew deep down they were just trying to help. I got defensive and just avoided seeing them altogether thinking they were just judging me.
If your friend is easily embarrassed, she may close herself off even more if out of nowhere you message her saying you’ve noticed how much weight she’s gained. I’d start with asking her about how she’s feeling, what’s been up- things like that. Wait for her to open up about it first like “Oh man, I’ve been so stressed and putting on so much weight”. Or whatever the case maybe. Then I think that’s a safe opening for you to have a conversation with her.
My sister would offer to do things with me. Hike to see an amazing view, or walk with me to take my child to the park so I could have adult company. It worked for me just having her there and knowing I wasn’t being judged but she cared enough to go through it with me. Good luck.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My friend has gained a lot of weight and I am concerned for her health: Advice?
So I’m personally a bigger girl my best advice is if someone invited me to the gym and said hey I need a workout partner I wouldn’t be offended at all I would definitely go so maybe approach it that way
Ask her if everything is ok. Then nicely tell her you are worried about her. And wait to see what she had to say.
Maybe there is some emotional issues going on. Maybe she has health issues that are causing the wt gain. Maybe some medicine she is on is causing this
But whatever, listen to her, be there for her and don’t judge her
Uh… you don’t think she’s aware? Why is it that skinny people feel the need to point it out. We aren’t clueless. Mind your business. I’m sure she’s uncomfortable enough without you saying about her “ health “. Call it what it is… you see she looks overweight so now it bothers you and are disguising it as a health concern.
Maybe you could mind your own business and maybe she’s happy. Did you ask her if she’s okay.
Mind your business…smh
A lot of people gained weight during lock downs. It’s definitely rude to say something about it. It’s not rude to say “hey how’s your health?”
If she wants to change it it’s up to her … But I’m sure she doesn’t need someone out pointing it out and making her feel some kinda way about herself… We are already our own worst critics…
Had friends say this to me once in high school and it felt horrible I wouldn’t say anything out of respect for your friends feelings
You can say hey I’m trying eat clean and workout and I need accountability partner. But out right commenting on her weight you will put her on defense its not even about the weight it’s about healthy lifestyle
Nothing worse than a friend telling you that you are fat. We can tell when we gain weight, our clothes don’t fit, we see it in the mirror probably before anyone else notices. Those comments hurt and honestly make the situation so much worse. Ask how she is doing but don’t ask why she gained so much weight.
You think she doesn’t already know? Don’t say a word.
Say nothing. What benefit is there for her? It’s her body, I’d assume she’s aware and it’s her business.
Doesn’t sound like your good enough friends to ask this question since you don’t know how she got to that place. I’m sure she’s very aware. Ask her to go for a hike or something to hang out and exercise.
Girl no… Stay in your lane. I love how you threw in the part about you leaving your hometown but she hasn’t. We get it… You think you are superior.
As a bigger girl, I can assure you 100% that your friend is absolutely aware that she is putting on weight. Even if you try to say something from a place of love, it’s probably going to hurt her feelings. Instead, try having a conversation with her just ask how she’s doing ask what’s been up in her life don’t bring up her weight, she’s been in lockdown like the rest of us, possible depression that’s come along with it, maybe she’s having health concerns, don’t bring up her weight.
She could be goin through depression. A lot of people have during lockdown. For you to point out her weight like that, is just downright rude and mean. It’s not right to bully your friend, all because she is overweight. You never know what someone is goin through. So if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.
From my own personal experience: I knew I was fat, but someone mentioning it or calling attention to what I was eating only sent me further down the path. Leave her alone.