My friends don't think I disciplined my daughter the right way: Thoughts?

My daughter just turned 5 in January. She has ADHD, ODD & I suspect she’s Autistic as well but won’t know till I get her evaluated by a different doctor. She does mess up a lot. She makes mistakes. I myself suffer ADHD, depression, and anxiety & as an adult as make many mistakes some very serious. I take that into consideration with my parenting her. I don’t lash out, freak out on her or scare her. Now to get to what I want everyone’s opinions on. We were at a friend’s. They let her use their virtual reality headset. She took it off her head and dropped it on the ground (carpeted). They had said oh it’s fine it’s been dropped before. Turned out no, it wasn’t. The headset got the black screen of death. When this happened, we told her very sternly, “you can’t do that, you could break it” she got privileges like tv taken away. She had also told them she was sorry. When they realized it was really broke. They were upset. Obviously, they also said they didn’t think it fair how she just got away with it with no consequences now I’m being asked to pay $50, which I am. However, they act as if I didn’t punish my daughter & that she got away with it. No one knew till 2 days la,ter that it caused the headset to stop working. they also act as if I never punish her and basically say I should beat her ass because they got their asses whooped as children. (note they have no kids). How they stated, it made me feel low and like a POS mother. Her father feels this is disrespectful. He sees her as still learning, not understanding fully what she did & feels they are taking it out on her when she’s only a child. They pointed out how if they broke something of ours, they would replace it, but it occurs to me their pet damaged a property we are renting a few years back and never did anything to replace it. So really that’s not true. Would this break a friendship for you? Do you feel they overreacted? How would you handle this?

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If she took it off and threw it across the room aggressively and on purpose, that’s a different story but if she just dropped it on the floor I’m sure she didn’t mean to do it, and she’s FIVE. No one can tell you to spank your child. I personally believe some kids needs to be whooped but it’s nobody decision but the mother and father. If my friend acted that way they wouldn’t see me or my child anymore.

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First of all, she is 5. Anyone who gives a 5 year old a VR headset should know that there. is a chance it could be dropped. 2nd of all, you are the parent, not them. You discipline your child how you see fit. And I would make that known to them. And 3rd if you are replacing it then pay them and I’d steer clear of them.

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She’s 5 :roll_eyes: they chose to give a 5 year old something that they would be upset over breaking. Then say “oh it’s fine, it’s been dropped before.” Well that just tells me it was probably on its way to breaking anyway. It’s not up to them to decide how you punish YOUR child. IDC how close my “friends” are I’d tell them to mind their own business. They can ask you to pay a little but have no right to speak in your parenting.

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This is your child not theirs. If you are being responsible to pay for the damages then that is all they need to worry about. They have no say in how you should or should not discipline your child. You took privileges away and she was talked to. I would.not take my child there anymore if they will be like that. Like I said, they have no say in discipline. That is between you and your husband. You paid them so that is as far as they need to be involved.

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I’m not sure she should have been punished at all unless she threw it out of anger or frustration then its more of a issue with working off to pay for the thing she broke.

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Since they don’t have kids it’s probably hard for them to understand punishments. I wouldn’t unfriend them over it. But I’d help them Understand that she is your child and you will punish as you see fit. If you’re paying for it, it shouldn’t matter anyway. Kids make mistakes, how else will they learn if they don’t.

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End the friendship. They won’t let this go and no one should tell you how to discipline your child, especially when they think you should be physical toward your daughter.

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You should get new friends because those sound like assholes :woman_shrugging:

They’re not paying your bills or raising your children so ignore them and maybe stop the “friendship” if it bothers you so.

Kids break things…our daughters friend broke her new Christmas toy first time used…ehhhh…its just stuff we didn’t make them pay

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Regardless of anything else that you stated she’s 5. Kids drop and break things all the time. She didn’t do it on purpose so why would you beat her for that? I think you handled it fine.

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Your child, your rules. You also took responsibility and agreed to pay, you also disciplined the way you do and took away things AND had her apologize. Every child is different. Hope you punish your child isn’t their business

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You paid for the device. It should have ended with that.

I personally would drop those friends. Anyone who interjects on how to parent MY child, will get thier ass chewed or cut out, real quick.

If she threw them then yes I would have spanked my daughter. Now, if she dropped them by accident then no I would not punish her but she would get a talking to about being careful. If she dropped them for being reckless and not thinking then I would take away privileges. That’s me though. You are paying them back for it and that’s good if they aren’t just saying they broke and using it as an excuse to get money. Hopefully not. But either way it all depends the situation.

It really sounds like they are not good friends to you or your family and you should deal woth then if you have too and especially since they have no kids they would not understand that she was disciplined I do believe in whooping but i also believe in talking to a child whooping is not the only solution to every situation

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ild be sending them info on ur daughters isusses and say now this y i handle her different

Well as stated by others she is 5. But also think if it was an accident there doesn’t “need” to be consequences. Tel them that’s not how it’s done w your child so that’s that

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NEVER TAKE PARENTING ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO IS NOT A PARENT.
Honestly. They have no fucking idea. Don’t take their opinion to heart.

Here I thought you were going to ask if you were being to hard on the punishment… THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. As far as repayment of property… did they insist she try it out? Or were you specifically asked if she could?

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