My friends ex is trying to get custody of her child: Advice?

My friend wanted me to send this in for her. She’s scared about her daughter getting taken away and doesn’t know what to do. And please don’t judge her. She’s having a hard enough time as is she doesn’t need the hate. Here’s her problem: I have a situation with the father of my child, he is planning on getting custody of our child and going back to his ex. I’m really not sure where to start. With the affair, he cheated on his wife with me; he was with his wife the whole time after telling me they were separated. But by the time I found out they were still involved, I was pregnant. He tried abandoning us whenever I got pregnant with our daughter, with full intentions of moving his wife and his kids to another state and abandoning us altogether. Then he comes back and claims he loves me and wants to be with me, and I agree for our child’s sake. Only for him to lose interest in me not even a year and a half later, and now he is saying he is going to get custody of our daughter and go to his mothers, who he hasn’t even talked to in years and has only seen once in that time, and has never mentioned our daughter to her. He has been sneaking over to his wife’s house the entire time he has lived with me and claimed they were through. I am terrified because he and his wife have both told me they wish it was the wife that got pregnant instead. I’m scared they are going to take my baby from me. I am ten years younger than them; they have a house, a car, two kids. The wife is a well-known daycare worker. I live in an apartment; I stay at home with the baby, he pays all the bills, I can’t even drive yet. I need advice; I am really not sure where to go from here. He has already claimed he has talked to a lawyer.

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Its not her child. It’s their child together number one. Number two I don’t feel bad for a homewrecker. And what do you mean you can’t even drive yet? If you’re a minor then throw his ass in jail. If you’re not a minor, get off your ass and get a job and a license. He can’t just take the child. My best advice is go to the courthouse and file for custody before he does. Then document everything about his and her behaviors. Past and present. Keep texts and whatever else as evidence.

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Just cause they have money does not mean they automatically get the child. You may just have to do joint custody. Unless you are unfit normally court does not take a child away from a parent even if the other parent has millions of dollars. Money does not make a good parent. Look into a lawyer tho see what your options are

They have to prove you an unfit mother before any of the “taking away a child” can happen regardless if he pays all your bills or none of your bills.

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Is his name on the birth certificate??? If not take your child and run

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Sounds like he is just threatening her. Judges dont want to take a child from their mother especially for no reason. They’re supposed to go for the best interest of the child and so should you (as a mother)

Try not to stress it so much. He won’t be taking your child from u

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Go get you an attorney start the process as most work on payment plans after the initial consultation. Your priority is only yourself and your child at this point. Get an attorney that specializes in divorce. Good luck. Other than supervised visitation sever all ties with soon to be ex.

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You’re so worried about him taking the Child then you should file for custody. Everyone talks about it but never does it

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They wanted a child and used you

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sounds like hes a bully… my ex was and he lost custody of 4 of our kids… he thought he could take the kids of me too… but he was with hes bit on the side and i was the wife. no court in the land will take the kids of the mom if she is looking after the child unless your unfit mother …ie alcoholic, drug user… and putting her own needs before the kid

They need you have you deemed unfit to remove the child from your care. Start a case with a worker at your state assistance office and go after him for child support. Get yourself set up before he pulls the plug on your funds. You need to start somewhere, and baby steps are better than no steps.

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First thing you need to do is get independent. You are at his mercy with him paying the bills…Let this be a lesson never date a married man. If he dont have divorce papers in hand RUN dont walk away. Not to mention how they treat one woman is how they will treat you. He cant take your baby unless you are declared unfit. All he can do is get visits.

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Stay away from married men. Separated is still married. Unless she is unfit, she shouldn’t have an issue. Have her file first

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Go back to your parents get a job a car and fight for your daughter. Or go where he dont know.

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If you are in Nigeria go to FIDA

He is trying to scare her, just stand up. Show him you are not scared.

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First off, he ain’t shit. And they ain’t gonna take your baby away. You need to file a parenting plan ASAP and apply for child support if applicable. He’s just trying to scare you. Don’t let him do that, it’s called intimidation. Document it all and then go to court. You’ll be fine.

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They aren’t going to take your baby. He can talk a big game and it IS stressful. But you’re the mom. Unless you’re unfit, you’re good.

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If I were you, DO NOT LET HIM WITH THE BABY ALONE. Without a court order he can legally take the baby and the cops will do nothing about it. Get away from him and go somewhere else until you can file child support. Please believe me- I’ve just went through this nightmare. I know you want to stay private but if you need details or more input on anything please feel free to contact me.

Honestly with the way that he cheated I highly doubt it but don’t let him take the kid and if there’s no Parenting Agreement because you’re screwed he doesn’t have to return your daughter. Call Legal Aid and enroll in school so you can get the student loan money back every semester which should be like 4 grand and you can be okay