My girls want nothing to do with their dad after we divorced: How can I change this?

Recently divorced after 24 years of a pretty great marriage (except the last 2 years). Husband had 2 year affair. Our daughters are 21 (married) & 18 (senior in high school). The oldest won’t speak to him at all. The 18 yr old was always his sidekick/shadow. She now doesn’t want to spend any time with her dad. I don’t/can’t force her to. Any advice on repairing their relationship? I hate to think of my girls not ever having a good relationship with their dad. Thanks!

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it’s not your relationship, it’s theirs. Let them repair it or not. Back away

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Yeah they’re adults. You dont have any say in this. You have to let it be.

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Unfortunately it’s not your place and if you try anything you will push them away from you also. 🤷 they will either forgive him or continue to do what they are doing now.

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You dont need to, they’re adults and they can decide for themselves. If he wants a relationship with them then he will keep trying and never give up

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They might need time to heal.

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Let them change this when THEY ARE READY!

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Let them figure it out on their own. They’re not children and they are hurt. They need to work thru all that.

He is the parent, up to him to repair the relationship!

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Just leave it theyll no when they are ready if they want to change this

Time really… I was pretty angry with my dad for a long time after his infidelity.

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I’ve been there, he has to be the one to repair it, there’s nothing you can do.

They are adults, they have their own anger towards him for his actions and will need to deal with it in their own. I would say that if you can refrain from speaking poorly of your ex that might help some. Based on what you’ve posted, though, I’m betting you already do a great job of refraining from negative comments about him to you girls. The rest is up to the three of them to figure out. Good luck.

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It’s not yours to repair. They’re both adults, he hurt them just as much as he hurt you. They may come around at their own pace, but don’t force it.

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Honestly I agree with the others. This is their issue with their father. They have to get through it and make their own choices. He made the decisions that hurt the family. They need time. Just be there for them but don’t push it. He did a pretty major thing and honestly they may not ever be the same.

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All you can possibly do on your end would be to reassure them that bygones are bygones and you would want them to have a relationship with him and they have your “blessing” so to speak. That’s the only thing I can suggest as that may be why they are hesitant to continue a relationship with him for fear of “betraying” you. Good luck!

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They are old enough now to figure it out on their own. Just don’t bad mouth him

Mind your own business!!! He made his own bed now he can lay in it!!

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I would say, it’s his relationship with them and it’s his to repair not yours. If you’re worried pray about it. I turn all my worries to prayer. Every time I worry about whatever. It’s really all you can do when it’s not yours. Anything else is control and manipulation.

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I’ve been in their spot. When I found out my dad cheated on my mom, I didn’t want anything to do with my dad. We didn’t speak for several years. We now after 10 years are at least on speaking terms and will visit for holidays/birthdays. Just give them time. They will figure it out on their own. Don’t force anything. Hopefully their dad will try to repair their relationship. Just pray for them.

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