My husband and his sister made a decision without consulting me: Advice?

My husband and his sister made a decision without my husband consulting with me. I’m insulted because she basically texted me telling me what she was going to do before my husband could even get home to tell me first. She was supposed to take my bonus daughter overnight last night and then meet us at the corn maze today around noon, we’ll see her husband, and she got into a fight because she didn’t consult with him before having someone stay over (not my business) so she called to reschedule we said okay we could reschedule. Now she wants her tonight, and I said no initially because we are leaving at 7 am tomorrow to go visit my parents for a couple of days. Am I wrong to tell her this sleepover isn’t happening tonight?

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You have plans for early next morning and it’s your child not hers


No, you’re not in the wrong.

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I think there is nothing wrong with u telling her no, your reason seems perfectly reasonable.


Nope. That’s YOUR CHILD. They didn’t consult with you when they made their decision so you shouldn’t feel bad about saying NO.


I’m gonna be the one to say it… yes you’re in the wrong. If her father says it’s okay to go have a sleepover with her aunt then so be it. He can call the shots, too. The sleepover will just get cut short so she can leave with the family at 7am.


No she can stay another night. Not when you have to get up and leave early the next day.

No your not wrong. Stand your ground, don’t be guilted, into giving in.

Never heard of the phrase
‘bonus daughter’? As in step daughter? & no considering you didn’t get enough notice having already made plans

Umm its your step daughter and her dad said yes??? Yes you are in the wrong. He gets final say.


What’s a bonus daughter😳


No youre not wrong…

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Just because he is the father doesn’t mean she is in the wrong. They had plans and he should have consulted with his wife. Lot of bitter moms on here geez.


No you aren’t wrong. Her drama doesn’t mean your plans need to change. Especially waking up early the next morning. But over all dad gets final call unfortunately

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It sounds like this is more about respect than anything and your husband didn’t respect you at all in this matter.
No she’s not your birth daughter, but if you guys have plans etc or it’s not right for the schedule it should still be talked over with you and discussed.
If this was with the bio mom then I would say sure, they could hear you out but they have final say.
I definitely feel like he completely disrespected you and what you had to say or at least your opinion.
Just sit down and talk with him.


I had stepchildren, they lived in our home, I cared for them 24/7 , visits were certainly not arranged without consulting with me same thing as my biological children. As we had a blended family not his and mine.


No your not in the wrong, you are a family unit, A team. you have just as much say as the dad and things should be discussed between you both before any decisions are made.


You absolutely are not in the wrong. You and your husband are married, you both should contribute to making decisions. When my husband and I first got together/married I had this issue, he would make decisions for my bonus daughter without even discussing it with me and he would just tell, after a few times of me expressing my feelings that this is not ok and we should discuss things first, he finally got the hint and now he will not make a decision without talking to me to make sure I have no plans in mind, etc. we do it nicely though. Most of the time I don’t care, as long as I’m not in hopes for plans, which usually we don’t make plans.

You sound like a lot of fun :roll_eyes:


When you marry someone who already has children you are accepting those babies as your own. Why shouldn’t your say matter? It’s a marriage you come to a compromise. I do not think you are in the wrong for feeling that way.