My husband and I are at a dead end in our relationship: Advice?

I have been with my husband for going on four years… we have been married one year on Halloween 2019. I have three kids from previous relationships. My youngest son never got to meet his bio dad because of drugs. My husband came into my life when my youngest was two and over time, became his dad. We have had our issues, but I thought we worked through them, but I was wrong. I begged him months ago to open up and talk to me. I told him how alone I felt because I am a stay at home, mom, and I have no friends to talk to. I begged and begged to please don’t shut me out. I asked to go to marriage counseling four months ago because I felt like our marriage was slowly fading out. He wouldn’t do it. He then became even more standoffish to the point he doesn’t touch me, and it’s been forever since he said I love you. I’m lucky if I get a love ya.Then the day before Thanksgiving, he told me that his family wasn’t coming over for dinner and that his family doesn’t like me and him and our son was invited over to his aunt’s house for dinner, I was not. He stayed home that day but was very ignorant about everything I get made dinner, and I asked him if he could wash the dishes since I cooked for 6 hours straight…he said yeah but never did it. Then last night I look over at him, and he was on his phone, and all I could see was a lady’s downstairs bits…I’m not sure if it was porn or someone he is talking too, but I have been begging him for some naughty time, and he just passes out on my…he works yes but I pay the bills, keep the house clean, take care of the kids, make sure everyone has clothing to wear, I take care of our pets I deal with the car and so on…Idk what to do, but I feel like our marriage was forced into a dead end with no turn around…please, I need advice.

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You cant force someone to want to work on a relationship let alone a marriage. A marriage is 100/100 and doesnt sound like hes into it anymore. Either you choose to stay, doesnt sound like its going to get better, or you leave. Simple as that

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Get yourself some counseling so you can have someone to help you figure it out over time.

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DIVORCE attorney???

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I have no advice because id be a hypocrite. Just do whats best for you and your kids. Sounds like hes cheating. Idk but suspicions. If you ever want to talk msg me always a good talker and listener i myself have no friends to talk too. :purple_heart::raised_hands:t2::100:

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get rid of this piece of shit! Your children need to see a loving family so they know how to act when they are older. He is selfish and useless from what I see. You can do better. Learn to love yourself above anyone else.You deserve better than this.

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Sounds like his attention is on someone else. You already talked to him about how u feel and he still isn’t trying, seems like he is not taking your vows serious and has given up on your marriage. I agree with Jessica marriage is 100/100. Dont waste your time and move on you will be okay, just take it one day at a time, it hurts now but time does heal. You deserve the same love you are willing to give and nothing less. Sometimes some relationships dont work no matter how hard we want them to work. No one should be put in the position to where they have to beg to be loved, when theres someone out there that will effortlessly is willing to show u real love. Keep your head up. Sending nothing but good vibes your way. Keep us updated.

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The first thing that you don’t do is to open the door to allow anyone into your relationship/marriage. You are asking for trouble. You know what you need to do. But you want justification or support for your decision. Your marriage is not my business or anyone else business.

If it walks like a duck…
Trust your gut. It’s usually right

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Leave …you deserve better.

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All I have to say is BYE BYE been there done that , now happy and my kids are happy there is someone out there that will love you snd the ground you walk on

You need to find employment outside the home and start building a new life. You are going to need to be able to take care of yourself and your children.

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Yes if was you I would move on… because he sounds like he’s looking for a way out… you deserve way better… he might be cheating or having an emotional affair,those are just as bad as the ladder… good luck.

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Sounds like a man that’s waiting for it to be your idea. Some men cannot say they want things to end so they just do everything wrong till you snap. The moment you had to wonder or beg is the moment you lost him. You seem much calmer than me though. I would have went to the families house and asked why they hate me and how I fix it and share all the BS he’s putting me through <3 But I’m a royal pain in the A**. Don’t settle, and show your babies that it’s okay to not put up with crap

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Heres my advice, as a man.

  1. Get a job, find a babysitter for the kids. He doesnt like it? Too fucking bad.

  2. Gain your independence, work on yourself. Make some friends, re-establish a social life outside if this abusive controlling relationship. Next thanksgiving youll have somewhere to go without him, I can tell you as a man if my family said they didnt like my wife and she wasnt allowed over, Id be eating dinner alone with my wife.

  3. Once you find your confidence and independence from this coward, watch how he comes crawling back trying to find ways to control you, then move the FUCK on.

Seems as if he’s checked out of the marriage. So if looks as if plan A isn’t working out. What’s plan B? If you don’t already have one, develop it and put it into action. Oh and this goes without saying, move in silence. He doesn’t need to know your every move.

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Usually some one else

You seem to be possibly dealing with some unaddressed codependency issues. You need your own income and to be alone for at least a year. No man will save you. You have to save yourself.

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Maybe infidelity is a possibility; sometimes cheating partners start fights so they have a valid reason to run to the waiting arms of another . Walking away to answer phone calls. Pay attention to small details. Check you phone details if on same plan. Good luck! Been there done that :exploding_head:

You deserve so much better than him :sleepy:

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