My husband and I are having different opinions about guest staying at our house: Advice?

My husband and I are having different opinions about having “stay-in” guests in our house. He is really okay with people staying in our house as much and as long as they want. I mean, I’m okay with people staying in our house for a couple of days, but having them like for weeks and then another comes after another, that’s a different story. He even said that he plans to build extra room for the guests in the future, I told him, “No, I really value our privacy as a family,” and he said, “that is why I’ll build extra room so that they’ll have their own space and not bother us that much”. I did object, and at the end of our argument, I ended up the bad guy, he said that I am selfish and that because I hadn’t experienced living in other people’s houses like them when they were little. I don’t know what to say to him anymore. Am I really selfish? Is the problem is with me, my attitude?

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Depends who these guest are

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Depends really. What type of guests is he consistently housing?

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It is a little selfish in my opinion. I agree with your man. You were raised with the privilege of not having to stay with other people most likely.

I think it depends on who and what the situation is. Now if it’s family staying to help you with a new baby then you should be grateful, if it’s somebody down on hard times and they’re staying to get back on their feet you should be supportive but if it’s just people staying over to stay over then I think you have a right to put your foot down about how long they are there for.

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Sounds like he wants “tenants” but them not paying their way…
Nope no thank you

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It aint seflish to want a private home for you and your family.

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Ummm your in the right hunny, I had a coworker move in to help her out, and it literally bit me in the ass. Stick to your guns!

Nope, I could never have people staying in my house. Even my mother would start to annoy me soon enough lol.

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Uhm no. My family had to stay with family and all of that nonsense, but no. I value my home and my privacy and I can not stand to have any long term guests especially back to back to back. Luckily my husband is the same way.

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I don’t think you are selfish, I couldn’t stand having guest all the time. Families need privacy.

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We’ve had people stay with us that wouldn’t leave, or leave us high and dry. We’ve been burned by family and friends when allowing them to stay longer than a certain time. And I myself like to walk around freely, when my kids are down. We like our privacy. But once you have a family it’s mainly about what’s best for yours… your not a kid anymore, you don’t know what they are bringing with them. I mean we have gave our chances with people, but at our time now, we refuse to let others harm us.

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Are kids involved on either side? If so, then you are definitely not wrong for your feelings and opinions. Do you have children together? If so, then your husband is crossing so many boundaries and not respecting you AND your children. If your husband is allowing children to come stay, expecially if they are bad… Thats a big no for me! I LOVE AND ADORE respectable children but I would not allow brats and their parents to come stay with me for free weeks at a time…

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I don’t think you’re in the wrong for wanting privacy. I wouldn’t want a bunch of people staying with me either. You have to think of your family not all these other people he wants to home. Also to go out of his way to make extra room for them so they dont bother you? Then what the hell is the point of them staying with you? So they can mooch off you if it’s not family? Sorry but you’re no where in the wrong for this, I would put my foot down and say No!

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No.
You are NOT selfish.

Just a difference of what you want. Need. Like.

I have friends who never want to be alone. Always wanting people w them. Staying. Forever.

Me.
I like my family.
I LOVE ALONE TIME.

I have a hard time allowing people I love to come over.
Friends try to invite me over all the tine.
9 times out of 10 I say no.

I also say no to them visiting me.

I work 2 jobs.
Want to come home.
Crash.

You two are different.

Might want to get out now.

He’s told you how he feels. He won’t be changing.

I see no problem with Guest house. You will be the one deciding who the guests are.

We have people in and out a lot, as we recently moved out of state. I’m telling you… I cannot take it for longer than a week at a time (unless of course it would happen to be one of my woman friends! lol!). It is fkn stressful, especially if there are additional small children in the house. We have a separate “living room” and guest bedroom that they stay in, but it is still insane. I agree with you 100%. Try talking calmly with him about it. Let him know how truly stressful it is for you, but that you’ll work on making it work if he can slow the roll a little.

No it’s ur house tell em to get their own

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Tell him to move in with them , while you find a different place. It is not wise to have another person or family stay with you. It always ends in drama

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In my experience having “guests” that stay longer than a week can really ruin a relationship. If he wants to “rent” a residency that you don’t reside in and be a landlord he can buy a bungalow or something.

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