My husband and I are having issues: thoughts?

Hi everyone. My husband and I are having some issues. We have been living separately for a couple of months now due to some issues that we are trying to work out. We are trying to save up to get our own place (I’m with my mom), but it’s been rough. In the past he has cheated on me on several occasions, his excuse would be that we were on a break (we would get into an argument, and he would ignore me for a couple of weeks). Now I forgave all that because we have a daughter and I just want my family together. Now with this whole lockdown, we haven’t been able to see each other. And it’s had a real impact on our marriage. He doesn’t text me whatsoever unless I text him, and doesn’t call at all. It can be up to 8 hours before I hear from him, and since he’s not working, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to me. I recently found out he’s been lying to me again, although not about being unfaithful, other things, so I’m struggling with being trusting and with giving him space. I feel like I’m overbearing and needy, but I just want to talk to my husband. He doesn’t care about talking to me or asking about our baby. I’ve tr,ied to talk to him on several occasions, and all he says is this is the consequence of living separately, and we need to move back in together. He also tells me that he’s sick of me “being on his ass,” and he needs room to breathe. So I tried giving him space, and I went ahead and logged into our bank account to check a few things out and have noticed he’s outgoing to get ice cream and doing other things but can’t even text me good night or good morning. I just simply want to talk to my husband and communicate. I don’t want, nor do I need to have him talk to me every second of every day, but I do want some sort of communication. Every time I do try to talk to him, he just gets annoyed and shuts down or says it’s my fault, and I’m ridiculous. I don’t know what to do anymore; I’m struggling so much that I’m hardly sleeping and this issue is all I can think about. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not sure if I’m the issue or if it’s time to consider other options. Any advice would be great.

22 Likes

He’s showing you very clearly that he doesn’t want to make you a priority. Move on.

19 Likes

I’m sorry, it sounds like it time to move on.

1 Like

Read your letter Kerrie said…move on.

2 Likes

Have you ever seen the movie " he’s just not that into you"? He clearly doesn’t want to be with you. If a man wants to be with you, he would move mountains to be with you. You need to stop and realize that it’s over, start picking up the pieces and move on. Stop calling, stop making plans, stop texting. Trust me on this one

11 Likes

Move on with your life he has

1 Like

He is cheating on you & making excuses you should move on & start a new chapter for your sake

3 Likes

This doesn’t even sound like a marriage. Taking a break? Cheating? This sounds like a high school relationship. It sounds like neither of you really know what a marriage is really about. Trust, faithfulness, communication, commitment and working through things, not separating everytime you get in a fight. Go to marriage counseling, see if you can do online Skype sessions because of the Covid virus. Maybe that will help but if both of you don’t put 100% in it, your marriage is never going to last.

18 Likes

Once a cheater always a cheater. Sounds like he doesn’t want to change. You sound miserable. Maybe moving on wouldn’t be so bad… n

7 Likes

How you gonna get a house and him not working-a man works and supports his family

3 Likes

You just answered your own question.

6 Likes

The only person you need to be talking to is a divorce attorney. Time to take out the trash.

6 Likes

No marriage counseling
Get a divorce!

Ur not the issue.
He still.lying and punishing u which is why hes not communicating with you…u want a loving kind hubby and he is never going to be it

Taking a break in marriage means trying to work on self and trying to date wife…not f-ing…other women!!!

7 Likes

You gotta move on. Yawl already live separate so might as well make it official. Where does he live that you and your daughter couldn’t move in with him? There’s definitely info missing.

3 Likes

Time for divorce… It’s going to be hard you’re going to feel lost, alone, depressed, stressed out, but it’ll only be for a while things will get better and one day you’ll look back and be thankful that you left, but that you did what you could to try and make it work. You’ll be fine trust me it gets better. Much luck to yoy

4 Likes

I think you already know what to do… don’t sound like the right situation for you or your daughter… you both deserve better

1 Like

It doesn’t sound like he really wants a relationship with you. He is giving you all the answers you need but you dont seem to like the answer. Its time you move on dear

6 Likes

You should leave him completely… mind and body. For one, he is a serial cheater that blames you every time he falls into someone else. Two, how is it working thing out if he doesn’t communicate with you and clearly (from you describe) doesn’t want to communicate with you. Three, he manipulates you and mentally abuses you in the sense that he successfully makes you believe you are the issue (you left me, you don’t give me space, etc)

Leave this man… this is not the life you want to live. This is not the example you want to set for your child. Would you want her to be married to someone like her dad?

4 Likes

Let him go. He’s not interested in being a man, let alone a husband. IT’S NOT WORTH IT!

4 Likes

We all see that he is not willing to work on the marriage. Hopefully you will see it to. Be strong for you and your daughter. You are not dependent on any man. You can survive without him. Good luck. Be safe.

3 Likes