My husband and I are not doing good but I have a stepchild with him and don't know what to do: Advice?

My husband and I have two kids together, and I have a stepdaughter that calls me mama, and I treat her as mine because we have her full time, and she is my little sidekick. My husband and I haven’t been doing very well, and it has been nothing but stressful. I feel as if I am not getting what I need from him. He stays up so late that he falls asleep every night on the couch, and when I wake up with our newborn, I also have to go in the living room and turn off the tv and lights, so I feel like I am taking care of another child. He doesn’t wake up from our newborn, and when he “helps,” he falls asleep feeding her and can’t get her to her bassinet, so I don’t even get any extra sleep when he helps because I have to watch him. He also makes references as if I’m a bad mom. He also never plans anything for us. If it wasn’t for me, we would never go do anything activity-wise with the kids. Another thing is my birthday is next Monday. I have to plan my own birthday for us to even get out of the house with our friends and get a few hours to ourselves, and I feel like I shouldn’t have to do that. I am just frustrated and upset, and he doesn’t understand it. I don’t want to break out family up. We also have a house together, and I absolutely cannot lose my oldest baby since she is not legally mine


May I speak freely?.. I’m going to anyway. Kick him in the :eggplant:!! He needs a wake up call


He does need a wake up call, however i think alot of men are like this… when I was with my sons father I had to pay for my.own mothers day dinner…


My husband was like that with our newborn, they act like they are the ones that gave birth and need all the rest in the world. Do you have anyone to come and help while he’s at work? It will pass, you are exhausted and I truly understand when they do nothing.


I am so sorry to read this. Some men just suck the life out of us :disappointed_relieved:
I really have no advice…
I’m sending you angels through prayer to hold you close ~
Best of luck to you :heartpulse:


Ask him for marriage counseling !


Maybe get some couples counseling.


Talk to him.? Tell him how you feel. Tell him shit needs to change and it needs to change now

Could he possibly be exhausted from working all day and then coming home and somewhat helping with a baby?


Tell him to get it together or you’re leaving with the baby.

Oversleeping and “laziness” along with the unwillingness to plan ahead/go out sounds like symptoms of pretty bad depression. Maybe talk to him a bit more about how he’s feeling and try a therapist or a doctor if that’s what you think it might be


Ask him if he’s stressed out… put all your issues in life to the side and listen to what he has to say… maybe you guys just need to regroup as friends for a minute :woman_shrugging:


Nobody wants a man child sorry but :astonished: if he doesn’t wanna help out and expects you to do everything like whys he always sleepin why isn’t he takin care of his family, you are by urself, you don’t need em :woman_shrugging:t2:


Love dare book challenge
Fireproof Movie
Do this together :slight_smile:


You have to do your p an birthday diddums he sounds exhausted

Why not adopt the oldest?

You’re going thru a bad patch it’s possible you both have post partum depression visit the dr together and go from there. No need to just up and leave. Try to have a heart to heart use i words instead of you words


Sorry, I don’t have any advice except to ask you to go to your Pastor and being this issue to GOD :exclamation: I have prayed for you and your family :pray:

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Does he work and you don’t. If so he maybe too exhausted to try to do things on his own. Now he doesn’t need to be calling you nothing but baby and sweetie or whatever pet name he has for you but if it bothers you he’s not helping stop doing his stuff tell him until you get more help you ain’t doing his bits like his clothes or dishes

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He sounds like he’s exhausted too.

Having 3 kids, with one being a newborn, is exhausting. I’m not even sure why you WANT to go out with friends with a newborn in tow.

I spent my birthday sick and pregnant on the couch. My husband cooked Christmas dinner because I couldn’t (my birthday is Christmas).

Love isn’t shown by “grand gestures”, it’s the everyday stuff, like going to work to support the family, trying to wake up with a newborn even though you’re exhausted, staying with your wife even though you can’t do anything right…