My husband and I both work full time but he doesn't do anything around the house: Advice?

My husband and I both work full time. But he doesn’t help around the house and gets mad if I say anything. His grandma lives with us and will not say anything to him, then complains to me. He says he will do something then does not follow through. I have stopped doing his laundry, and I think he wears dirty clothes now. I don’t know what to do.

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so you basically have a whole man child

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Hire someone to do it

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stop cooking, stop washing stuff—stop washing dishes. Stop it all. Let h I’m wash his own dishes, make his own food, wash his own clothing. And if he wants to be dirty nasty cause you won’t do it for him? Buhhh byeee

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I mean… that’s pretty normal. You win some, you lose some

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Hire someone to help

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He needs to grow up and help you around the house… That is ridiculous. :roll_eyes:

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See if he may be suffering from depression, communicating can help find the direction this may need to go

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Are the jobs equal? Hours may be, but what about the actual work? My husband and I both worked equal hours, but one job was more mentally and physically strenuous, so the other did pretty much all of the house work. Have you talked to him about it, or nagged him? Approach can mean everything in these situations sometimes. Good luck.

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I would stop cooking for him also and then if he does make something for himself make sure he cleans it up and does the dishes he used.

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Try talking to him again, tell him how it effects you.
If that doesn’t work then just stop, stop cooking for him, stop cleaning up after him, stop doing everything and simply tell him, you can do your own and I’ll do my own. If he wants to act like a child, treat him like one.

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I saw the recommendation of hiring someone. I’d ask him specifically to hire someone to clean a few times a week, that way he cannot say “well that’s what your job is”. I think wording it this way will make him think about his lack of contributions

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Move out & let his GRANDMA take care of him. Period. :speaking_head:We not raising GROWN MEN in 2021 & that’s on Mary had a little LAMB !

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I dont know, my husband and I both work full time. We have four children. I get off later than him and come home, make dinner, tend to a newborn, laundry, bathe kids, homework etc. I’m not saying he never lifts a finger…he does most of the laundry as far as taking it down to laundry room and switching loads… while I do all of the folding and putting away. But most chores, I do… during the week. He gets in his cleaning moods on weekends. But his job is also a lot more physically exhausting than mine. I guess it isn’t more so, what is right or wrong… its what you’re willing to work with :woman_shrugging:t3: and it doesn’t make you wrong for wanting him to pull more of his weight :blush:

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Tell him if he can’t clean up behind himself or help around the house then he can pay for a house cleaner from his own pocket!

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Stop doing stuff for him. Dont wash his dishes, or his clothes or towels. Dont cook for him dont clean up his trash. Leave it all for him

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I mean, what??. I’m not saying you should do it all for him but seriously, he’s wearing dirty clothes?? :unamused: I’m lucky to have a significant other who helps but I swear these stories day to day get more and more ridiculous. NOONE IS Perfect. I’ve dealt with infidelity, emotional abuse, amd i swear my hubby not doing laundry wouldn’t be the worse. I’m not saying it’s ok he doesn’t help but thinking of leaving over that? Be thankful he loves you, treats you great, provides. Idk. Im sure I will get a lot of slack for this but the relationships I’ve been in, I’d rather have someone be a little lazy than treat me like crap.

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Hire a hot guy to clean the house lol :stuck_out_tongue:

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You have a man child.
Are you better off with or without him?

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You get on with your life with or without his help. You can’t control anyone other than your reactions. Clean up after yourself only, if you don’t feel like cooking then sandwiches it is. Be honest with him and let him know you are NOT going to do everything alone and he will have to take care of himself like you take care of yourself. Fill your dinners with salads. Do YOU and don’t worry about him. If you lived alone you would have to do it anyway. I would tell the grandma she needs to direct her complaints to her grandson and I would hope she would do her duty as his elder and teach him how to be a real man. Harsh words but when you are done you are done

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