My spouse and I are living in a camper with our two kids (building a house) and if I left the messes for him to clean, we would live in absolute squalor. I almost think that the solution is to live in separate dwellings connected by a breezeway.
Husbands are just useless tbh. I’m 9 days away from my due date and still working almost full time, taking care of the house, kids, bills, etc. he can’t even be bothered to scoop cat litter or run a vacuum over the floor. Sorry this isn’t helpful, but at least you know you’re not alone.
Hire someone to come once a week and make sure he’s the one paying- as in if it means something has to be sacrificed to pay for it make sure it’s something of his.
I don’t think I could stay with someone that would let me do everything when it comes to cooking/cleaning. That’s selfish. He’s a grown man and needs to do his share. Try talking to him and letting him know how it makes you feel. If nothing changes I’d probably leave but you could also just stop taking care of him all together and see how he likes it. Maybe he needs s reminder of how much you do for him so that he can appreciate it and step up.
Stop doing it. He can take care of himself. Nothing worse than a man you have to mother. Yuck.
Tell him he can pay for a maid !
Hire someone to help
Nope ! In this house we are a team… I didn’t sign up for being his mother imo I wouldn’t tolerate it.
I’m a stay at home mom my husband works the oilfields.
but when hes home. he helps cook, clean, wash dishes, laundry or he will give me a day to be lazy why he takes over its what you’re willing to put up with hun. but honestly id tell him it takes two to make a child and raise one.
Have you even tried to talk to him about how you feel? You should be glad that he’s at least working and providing for you and not sitting around playing video games all day. Gently remind him about what he said he’s going to do not nag at him about it that makes him not want to do it.
Same boat except mine is laid off right now so he’s home all day! He doesn’t feel it’s his mess to clean and he shouldn’thave to clean up after the children i wanted! He can’t even unload clean dishes from the dishwasher or put his own clean laundry away. It’s getting exhausting!! Between working full time to ensure we have everything we need, online school with four kids and cleaning after seven-eight people, I’m tired, grumpy and sad ! I’d be lost without my momma who has taken on a huge responsibility by helping me daily!
So significant and I both work full time. He always wanted bills to be 50/50 but when it came to the house work he didn’t do pretty much anything at all. To the point where i told him you want 50/50 bills its 50/50 house work too. Period. If he didn’t do 50/50 on the house work I wasnt doing 50/50 in bills anymore. He did not like that but at that point I was done. He said he would try to do better. I gave it a month and when it didn’t change. I started paying less bills and at that point it was physically affecting his income. He is a pay it all on time no matter what kind of guy. We got into a huge row about it. I cannot work full time clean the entirety of the house myself and take the majority of the responsibility of raising our child. Surprisingly he started doing house work so I started paying more on bills again. Ofc about a month later he stopped completely again and I warned him that I will do it again. This time though I stopped doing his laundry, I would literally separate his clothes out of mine and our childs and leave them on the floor. I stopped making dinner, stopped getting his clothes ready for him in the morning, I only did things for our son and myself. He was quite pissed off. But now he cleans the house 🤷 been going for a good couple months too. You need to make him realize you arent going to put up with his shit period. Months of talking and arguing happened before I did either one of the things stated above, these were my last resort but they worked. And he knows I will happily do it again.
Pretty much all men. My husband was an ironworker and I worked at Walmart as a cashier when first started dating. There would be times he was laid off work and would sit around the house all day. Would toss his trash in the floor and dirty dishes in the floor and expect me to clean it up after a 10 hour shift plus cook for him and keep up laundry and dishes,even though wasn’t working
When he did work, he worked way harder than me so I didn’t mind. However, we got into plenty of fights about it and almost broke up over it. Married now and hasn’t changed that much. Once in a blue moon I can get him to toss dishes in the dishwasher for me or take down trash, but usually I do it bc when he does work,he busts his back…literally. Last night had to baby him with meds and muscle ribs bc back eas hurting after doing contract work. Accept that that is who is he and figure out if can live with it or not. Mine will toss clothes around and I’m constantly picking up after him like a kid, but he is a good guy and dad, so I just shrug it off. I’m a stay at home mom now so don’t mind too much anymore. We talk about it but it gets nowhere. Just all about what you can stand or can’t stand. At least he works so I can stay home and take care of the kids.
my husband isn’t a pig but he does like a clean house daily. I do the majority of the house work. He puts his dishes in the sink laundry in the area etc.
He will put my mail in a spot to put away and all the things to make my life easier.
his job is very physically entailed mine is very mentally entailed. I also work from home 3 days a week and on my 2 days off I am on call. So I do dishes or grocery shopping on my lunch. Laundry in between appointments etc to keep up
any Saturday or Sunday mornings we are home I do a good mop and dust. If not I pick a day durring the week and do it. I sweep almost daily the upstairs.
Laundry gets done almost daily and dishes either get done after dinner or the next morning and through the day when we are all home and as I see a mess I just clean it. Especially with a toddler it’s constant upkeep
You’re not his mother , you’re his partner. He needs to be a partner too, not another child to care for. I’d be blunt and to the point. Let him know you’re done doing anything for him at all until he starts being an equal partner in the relationship.
U already know the answer! … Tell him what’s up and how u feel … And tell him flat out fix it or F off! He is NOT the only man out there. And no one has time to raise a grown ass man. You are not his mother … Period … Its 2021 we are done doing that.
He just wears his dirty clothes again?! Sis, what the heck are you doing with that child. Just stop doing anything for him. Let him learn to take care of himself. If he refuses…well, decide if that’s how you want to live or not.
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Him getting upset when you raise your concerns is not partner material and also a strong indication that he won’t change unless it causes him a severe inconvenience or pain. You are not him mom, and he is not a child. If you are better off without him, please leave. If not, leave EVERYTHING for him to do. If he says anything, remind him it’s his turn.
Let him sit in those dirty drawers till his balls break out!!! He will learn how to drop in washer and push button!!! Dont hire anyone, and dont clean another thing!!! A partnership is 2 people not ONE. You have a family and you both work outside the home. Both of you need to take care of the home…otherwise you dont have a partner just another child to raise