My hubby and I are due for our 3rd kiddo in January. We have decided to wait until the baby is born to find out what it is. My problem is if we have a boy, he wants to keep his family tradition, and the baby would be the 4th. We had already had this talk before, and yes, I had already agreed to it years ago. Thankfully, we have two girls lol. If you cant tell, I really don’t like his name lol. His family calls him “Buddy” because there are already two others with his name. This morning, I brought up the fact that I would like our future son to have his own identity. He has problems with his mail going to his parent’s or grandparents’ house, and he gets his dad’s mail. Anyways, I asked him if we could compromise and use his name as our potential son’s middle name. I asked him to think of some different first names. He texted me after he left for work, and said he would not think of other names if we have a son because he thinks it would be “awesome.” It was hard for me to even say anything because I have known this is what he wanted. I was crying because I knew he would be upset. If he isn’t willing to compromise, what do I do? Name my child a name I can’t stand? Just to have to think of some nickname for him, so nobody on his side of the family gets confused? We have a first name for a girl that we agreed on. Why cant our son’s name be an agreement? Is it best I just bite my tongue and name our child what he wants?
Do you also hate the middle name? You can always have him go by his middle name.
My fiance and I both choose 3 names alternated them 1 through 6 and rolled a dice. It ended up landing on his favorite name which I don’t really like but it was fair. Loser,me, got to choose the middle name.
I think your husband has his heart set on it. He wants to carry on tradition and it means a lot to him. If I were in your shoes, I would let him have that.
We have a 3rd and, yes, it is confusing (Nick names and such), worrisome (with mail and whatnot) BUT the pride my husband has carrying on the family name is totally worth it
Why did you agree to it before if you hate it? Telling him he can’t continue the tradition is selfish.
We have 4 Rebecca’s in my family 3 have it as a first name with different middle names and one has it as a middle name, we all love our name. I can’t tell you what to do , I just can tell you about my experience.
If you don’t like it then don’t. Tell him it’s going to be the middle name or not at all.
I’m not settling for a name I don’t like either.
You probably shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place if you didn’t like it. A son carrying his father’s name means a lot to a father and to a whole family too. I mean if I was you I would let your son carry his father’s name especially if it might be the only son he will have.
You already told him you would name your son after him. You should’ve been honest from the start.
If you agreed to it previously , I’m sure this is gonna be a hard debate . I’d let him have this one . The pride and love he’s gonna have will trump all this name nonsense . My husband named our first son , because I couldn’t find a name we both liked . I chose this currents pregnancy’s , also a little boy, name ! We compromised .
My first son was named after his father. My second son was named after my father.
I call both of mine “hey, stop-it!” Or “quit that”
It works lmao.
I’m in the same boat, kind of… I don’t want a junior but it means so much to my husband. His name is Michael so it’s not bad it’s just the fact of the own identity issue for me… anyway I came to the conclusion I would feel bad if we do have a boy and he ends up being our only boy and we don’t use the name. My husband would compromise and do it as a middle name but in reality he would let me have any name I want so I think I can do this one thing for him. Again realistically you’ll love him either way because he will be your son. I’ll probably just use the middle name we have chosen if it’s a boy!
Family traditions are hard. In my husband’s family, the first male grandchild is always named after the paternal grandfather. Ugh. Not a fan at all. But my husband and FIL would have been heartbroken to mess with such a long tradition (he’s Greek). So we compromised, and picked a middle name we both like. He goes by his middle name. Maybe something like that is an option?
I think its really cool when a family name goes on for a long time. My great nephew is an 8th I think.
I dont think you should have agreed only to take it back.
Why deny him the tradition. Maybe should not have agreed years ago . I love the traditions like that. Let him have this one. Do you really want to be the one to ruin the name sake and 4th generation
If you already agreed on it don’t go back on your word because that can make him feel like crap
My husband wanted our son to be Richard the 3rd. I was like do you even know who Richard the 3rd is?? Study history or read Shakespeare.
Anyway, I also said he gets your last name forever, plus he passes it on. Why does he need your first and middle name too? Give him his own identity. It was ridiculous. You’re creating a whole individual human, not a clone. If he spends his whole life having to correct people on what to call him, because he goes by some variation, that’s annoying and inconvenient. You’re growing the baby, and giving him his father’s last name. You’re the one that spending the bulk of the time raising him too, right? If it’s a name you’re gonna have to yell 300 times a day, should be a name you choose. Or you just tell him no. What’s he gonna do? If he puts you in a corner, tell the nurse to give you the paperwork at his birth. And fill out whatever you want. Tell him he can call the baby junior, but his legal name is yours. lol
The child is not only his, its yours too, so yall are gonna have to compromise on a name. But I agree, your son should have his own identity. Traditions can be broken.
my husband wanted to name our son his name i said no and picked the first name ans his middle name is what dad wanted.