Needing advice on a situation with my mom. My mom and I are very close. We see each other once or twice a week and talk on the phone almost every day. I love her dearly, but my husband and I are struggling with being able to discipline our children in front of her. I do not spank my boys, my husband swats in the bottoms once or twice, but most of the time, our discipline actions are putting them in the corner. Our boys are 3 and 8. An example of what I mean is last night she was over for dinner, and she asked our eight-year-old not to be so rough on the three-year-old and not to play fight with him. The eight-year-old began to backtalk her and tell her he does it all the time, and it doesn’t really hurt him. (He has been doing this a lot more frequently lately) so my husband told him to go to the corner for 2 minutes. She proceeded to get upset and say that all we do is punish our kids the whole time she is visiting. (2-minute punishment mind you, and she was staying for dinner that I was just starting to cook.) I told her this was our house, so she could not tell us not to punish our kids when we see fit. She got upset as she always does. We already have an issue with the boys not listening to us when she is around. I’m at my wit’s end right now, but Idk what to do. I feel if she continues to correct us in front of our kids, they will continue not to take us seriously. When I confront her, we always end up in an argument. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please, and thanks.
Stick to your guns. Your kids your rules.
Don’t have your mother over your 8 year old needs 8 minutes in time out not 2 minutes per his age group
You’re absolutely right. I’d have a private conversation with her and tell her they act that way when she’s around because of this. Tell her she won’t be welcome again if she doesn’t stop.
my mom when my kids where younger did this to me and I put up with it until one day I said to her you remember when titi janet told you to stop punishing me??? she said no and then I said exactly no one told you how to raise me or how to discipline me so respect me as a mom and remember you raised me without interference do the same…seriously she should not say stuff like that in front of them because they will use it and they already testing you both when she’s there…
Your house, your kids. She will just have to get over herself. You and hubby have to be parents to your kids 24/7 and that includes disciplining them even if it’s while grandma is over.
Dnt let her undermine u be stern with her pull her aside n talk…if she isnt playing along tell her she wont be welcome. Your kids will end up not respecting or listening to ur rules and discipline if shes there saying infront of them not to do it
Don’t allow her over do much until they understand the way you need them to
Tell her that you and your husband will punish your children whenever they deserve it. If she’s going to keep undermining you in front of your children then unfortunately she won’t be able to come around as often.
Don’t let her undermine you.
And if he’s 8 give him an 8 minute time out
Yell he politely you appreciate the advice and raise them the way you see fit
Keep doing what your doing…have a talk to your mum tell this is the way in your house and she needs to respect it and if she doesn’t like it tell her then she doesn’t need to come around… the 8 year of def needs longer in time out… my mum did the same thing till I told her she had to cut it out and if she didn’t like it don’t come round…gd luck
Maybe she needs to see them less for awhile until you get control. BTW two mins in the corner for an 8 yr old child is ineffective. Try taking something that he he really likes away. Start for 24 hours and if he keeps mouthing off add a day to the punishment. Been there and done this!!
She fussed at your kid & then got mad when you did it?
Your kids your rules. Plain and simple. Explain either she doesnt say a word when it comes to discipline or she doesnt come over…
Send them to her house and let them act crazy over there. She will not stop. It’s a grandma thing. They can do no wrong in her eyes.
First off, you guys are doing great!! Parenting is hard and there is no handbook. What I think is::
You need to have a talk with her then and express your concerns. You’re their parents and you’ll discipline as you see fit. She is absolutely undermining you in front of your children and that shit is wrong, I would be so mad! I have an 8 year old son, too and at this age, they’re trying to see how far they can push it. She needs to butt-out. If she has concerns, she can bring it to you all in private, like an adult. I’d absolutely let her know that if she cannot abide by this, then she doesn’t need to come over.
I am a grandmother. We hate to see our grandkids upset. We raised our own kids with discipline but we are soft with our grandkids.
Talk to your mother. Tell her nicely it is your turn to raise your children and she has to respect your rules.
Cut the cord already!!
If and when I did that in front of my son, he just holds up his hand and says: “I got this mom”! Shuts me right up!