My husband and I separated and I'm not sure what to do with my step-daughter: Advice?

My husband and I are separated and will be getting divorced. Our oldest daughter is biologically his; I have raised her full time since she was 2. I have no rights over her but told him I’d keep her until the end of the school year because I think that it’s best for her and my other two daughters to stay together in our home for now. The bio mom isn’t in the picture, so I’m all she knows. On top of that, the oldest has major behavior issues and has been a huge issue in the marriage. She’s caused a lot of strain, and her behavior is hard to deal with. I don’t want to raise her, but I’m trying to do what’s best for all of them. What should I do? Should I have him take her? Should I just stick it out and keep her until we sell the house? I don’t know what to do.


Maybe she’s having behavioral issues bc she suspects that the only mom she’s ever known is about to just give up on being her mom. You’re rehoming her like a dog smh


If you have no legal rights, let her go. That last thing you need is something to happen to her. I would send her on her way.


What does the child want?


This is so disturbing? How old is the child? You realize she thinks if you as her mother, right? Your just going to walk out on her?


You already answered yourself “I don’t want to raise her”. If she’s acting out I’d say it’s because her biological mom isn’t around and you don’t want to be…


Maybe ask her what she wants?


Still treat her like you would yours. She might already being feeling separation anxiety wondering where it leaves her


Do what’s right for you and your girls. It sounds cruel, but your priorities lie with your biological kids.


I would speak to him about what he wants to do. That is his biological child and he has full say so over her. Also, this post isnt saying she is walking out on her. It says they are splitting up. She has NO LEGAL RIGHTS TO HER. She cant just keep her.


Poor kid … behavior problems can stem from a lot of diff things. Maybe ADHD? Maybe its hereditary issues? Does she know your not her bio mom? Does she know her bio mom isnt around or why? Maybe the problems stem from that? Maybe her issues stem from your relationship problems? Either way, I would keep her and the other children together. That’s what they all know. And I think you should stay involved in her life even after she goes back to live with dad. You are all she knows. And now … she probably feels shattered with her family splitting up. Divorce is hard on kids, esp the older ones who can understand better.


Ur doing the best by keeping her because she going to be extremely hurt in the end if her mom left her and now u dont want her I came from a home like that I still deal with anxiety stress and PTSD from it all


Try to stay in here life you are the only mother she knows


If she was biologically yours and you weren’t in picture what would you want for your child


You all need to go into ( family ) therapy and learn how to live with this new reality …


Don’t give up on the girl


Well since she isn’t biology yours you have no rights…
If dad wants his child he gets her you really have 0 says in it.

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Poor girl! I cant imagine feeling like my Dad just didn’t want me! My step dad has been dad since I was two. If something happened w him and my mom he would still be my dad. If you don’t want her then let her go now! How horrible to live in a home where you’re not wanted.


If u have raised her since she was two why did u never adopt her seen as u was married?? Your all she knows as a mum can you really let her go that easily?? Only u can make that decision.


Thats why she is acting out she knows u dont want her smh give her to her father. Stepping up to raise a child is a big deal and u shldnt just change ur mind like that