My husband basically told me he didn't love me anymore: Advice?

I had a conversation with my husband today In which he basically told me that he didn’t love me anymore because of how I looked. I just gave birth to our second 4 months ago and granted the weight hasn’t come off as easy as I thought it would. I’ve been so sad after I gave birth that sometimes I won’t put makeup or even brush my hair for a couple of days. I told him I would try harder and basically begged him to stay. When I returned from picking up the kids, he told me he wants to try and work on us. And requested I get all these body modification surgeries to “help us” that I don’t even how I feel about it. After I had some time to think, I realized I no longer want to be with him. But all I can think about are my kids. I decided to stay in the relationship and work on myself and see whatever happens with him. My question is, does it get better eventually can it be fixed the more I work on my outer image? Or how do I make it work with someone I hate till I’m in a better position to leave.

282 Likes

Run and start new, you are worth far more than that

5 Likes

Your husband sounds like a dick. You are the one that has to change to help your marriage? Your kids don’t need to see their mom treated like that!

7 Likes

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t love you just how you are? You deserve so much more!

5 Likes

I’d really focus on getting to a place where YOU are happy. Be it losing weight, dropping the hubby, or just taking some time to figure out who you are now as a woman and a mother.

2 Likes

Please don’t stay in that

I am 100+ pounds heavier than I was when I first got with my husband. He still calls me beautiful everyday and honestly thinks I’m the hottest thing ever in life. I’m pregnant with our 3rd together and he is so thankful for what I have put my body through to bring our beautiful blessings into the world. Our love gets stronger and stronger! I don’t think you will ever be able to live up to the image he has in mind for you. You don’t deserve that and don’t have to settle for that. Please know your worth!

11 Likes

Run another man will love you for who you are without all the adjustments.

1 Like

Take the kids and leave as soon as you can. He isnt worth anything.

Dont stay with that. Period. Point blank. It’s bad for you and it is bad for your children.

2 Likes

I’m sorry get rid of your husband what a douchebag

2 Likes

Stay to get your finances in order but don’t have sex with him. As soon as you have the money, you should run. You deserve better!

3 Likes

Fuuuuck that, and him. Leave and never look back.

2 Likes

Start getting your financial/personal ducks in a row towards independence, even if you need government aid. It took me three years after giving birth to leave my abusive husband. Be kind to yourself and your kids.

2 Likes

I can only speak from my experience, I have always been a size 3-5, even after my kids. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and gained 60 lbs all of a sudden. I worried my husband would leave me because of it and he hasn’t. He said, “my weight doesn’t define me.” If your husband can’t accept you for you, you need to reach out to family and see if you can go with them until you can be stable on your own. Love is deeper than your appearance.

16 Likes

Sounds like a winner… :neutral_face:

1 Like

Don’t worry about the kids well being worry about why he expects you to change he should love you unconditional

1 Like

If your husband can’t love you the way you look after giving birth to his and your child then he’s not in love with you, he’s focused more on your looks than your heart. I would tell him to go, I don’t want to be with someone who degrades my looks bringing his child in the world!

9 Likes

Read your post as if it were someone else writing it… you’ll see your answer clearly!!

7 Likes

He should understand you just had a baby but a person should love you for you your looks are just a bonus. I honestly would say just leave and then work on your self and lose the weight on ur own terms and when ur ready it’s hard trying to be fit or lose weight with 2 kids.

What a dick I am sure you are beautiful and a great mom your kids love you for you run

1 Like