My husband changed his mind last minute about our childs last name: Advice?

This is long, sorry, but I need the advice on a name. After getting married, I chose to hyphenate my maiden and married name with the intent (my husband agreed at the time) that when we have kids, they will take the hyphenated name. I felt really strong about this because after my father passes (god willing- a long time from now), the family name passes with him as he didn’t have a son. The same goes for my husband- he’s the last of his family name. We had our 1st girl; she took my husband’s last name- when her time comes to be married, hopefully, she’ll make the decision to hyphenate as well. It’s up to her, whatever floats her boat. This second baby (due in like two days) still doesn’t have a name set- first, middle or last. The plan was for him to have my hyphenated name so that both names could be carried on, but my husband now isn’t happy with the idea. I’m torn- I want to respect his wishes but dangit- this was the plan all along- I hyphenated for a personal reason, and he understood that once upon a time. Do I just cave and give our son his last name? It wouldn’t cause turmoil or divorce if I stuck to my gut and kept to the original plan, but I’m torn on what to do. I hyphenated for a reason, and we had agreed. Thoughts from other mommas??

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Idk my name was Rhonda Lynn Hilt-Thompson before I married so I wouldn’t think it’s a big deal for it to be hyphenated.

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Eh. It’s just a name. I’d let him have his way. Moms get their way so much more :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Stick to your guns, give your child the name you want, which is both of your combined names.

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I hyphenated as well. However I would not have do that my kids. That a hell of a long name. First middle last last. Eventually they will only go by your husband‘s last name

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I would keep the hyphen going. My maiden name is really personal to me also and I strongly regret not giving it to my children. Everyone is different but I completely understand and think if it was previously agreed on, the plan should stay. Stick to your guns. Its important to you.

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Definitely hyphenate

You had let him know about the hyphened name, and you had an agreement. Plus your 1st already has his last name, so I’d definitely stick to the hyphened.

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Use your maiden name as their middle name without hyphenation.

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Don’t give up. You had this planned all along, you hyphenate! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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My thing is ur daughter doesnt have a hyphenated last name…why make ur son? I get it that girls grow up and get married etc but u do realize technically ur kids would have diff last names right?

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Could you have your family name as a middle name? So its there. Its not fair on him to dictate like that at all. I also wouldn’t like my kids to have different surnames

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IMHO. You are married, name all your children the same. If your named your daughter without a hyphenated last name, do the same with every subsequent child. If you want the maternal last name somewhere in the boys name use it as a middle name.

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Remind him of the agreement and stick to it. You had the conversation. It isnt like you won’t be giving the babies his last name too.

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I would hyphenate or do it as middle name then last name so both names are still being used.

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Wouldn’t you want your 2 kids to have the same last name of same parents?? I say stick to your guns on ot, especially of that was the plan, but I still don’t see why the siblings wouldn’t have the same situation, otherwise make his middle name part of, or entirely, your maiden name ? I know you wanted it to pass down but maybe your child will continue that tradition?

You can give the baby 2 last name in Puerto Rico thats how we do it

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Don’t cave, you agreed on that first and he can deal with that.

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Why don’t you do middle your name and last his name?

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Keep it hyphenated. If that causes real issues then you have bigger problems than a name. And since your first already has that name it would be weird if your other kids didn’t.

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