My husband comes home and doesn't pay attention to me: Advice?

I have been a stay at home mum now for just under a year; before this, I worked from the age of 14 years old. Not long after quitting my job, I had a big fight and lost touch with my best and only friend. So now the only people I have in my life are my parents, who I don’t talk to all that much. They love far away, and we’ve never been overly involved with them. And my two boys 1 and 3. And my husband. My husband goes to work at 6 am and does not get home till gone at 6 pm. He always has food ready when he gets home, and the house is generally tidy. The problem I’m having is he doesn’t talk to me or spend any time with me!! He comes home, plays with the boys go up to the room and relax, comes down to eat the puts the kids to bed, and off to bed he goes; I get no adult interaction all day; I don’t have anyone to talk to, and it feels like every day I’m waiting for him to come home and when he does it like I’m not even there. I have tried explaining to him so many ways, but he never seems to understand I feel so isolated and alone, and I know he loves me, and he’s busy and wants to relax after work, but I’ve been home with two kids, cleaning cooking the same thing every day!! Am I wrong to feel this way??

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Maybe go watch a movie together or try to get the kids in bed a little earlier so you guys have some time together :heart:

No your not wrong, u need time with him. I’m also a sahm with 2 littles, try watching a movie with the family or just getting the kids to bed and watching one with him.

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That’s horrible you can’t live like this forever

Your asking for the minimum as he’s ur husband. Try to have a weekend or even 1 night without the kids if possible. You shouldn’t have to demand time from ur husband. Even if he’s tired some adult conversation shouldn’t be trouble at all or even a movie and some cuddling. You have every right to have some quality time and if he fights u or argues then that’s a bigger issue.

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You aren’t wrong to feel that way but it also sounds like he’s doing a lot too. This is where date nights are crucial. So you are both removed from the craziness to have time alone and together.

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Join a local mom group. Thats how I have found some adult friends

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I understand your frustration I have been there myself. You need to hire a baby sitter and have date night. Also consider finding a part time job where you work on his days off. He is working 12 hours a day and is tired, you also need to understand that. He is also stressed about providing for the family.

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Talk to your husband

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Its not healthy for your spouse to be your main source of adult interaction. Its harder bc of Covid but you need your own friends.

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No,you’re not wrong,been there

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I was there. The TV was always more important. No conversation no talk. He spoke with everyone else though. Others knew what weekend he had to work during that week and I didn’t find out until the night before. I dealt with it for 4 years. Then he started lying over everything. Even things so small and that didn’t really need to be lied over. I finally filed for divorce.

Make a date night !!

Not good / marriage maybe in trouble. Try talking to him in private and find out his feelings. Ask him upfront if there is anyone else he would like to be with. Hope y’all can work things out.

Do you try to talk him when he comes home? Like, hey babe, how was your day? Or something pleasant to start off the evening with? If yes and he ignores you, try sleeping on the couch a couple of nights. When he asks why just simply say, I didn’t think you’d notice since I’m invisible.🤷 sometimes guys only understand how you feel when you ‘show’ them by doing what they do, just to prove a point.

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I am in couples counseling and my counselor said just spend 30 minutes today after dinner or a designated time are you guys talk to each other. Also ask open ended questions say your husband is reading some thing about the news ask him how he feels about it. Make sure to always ask about his day. You have every right to be upset though I know exactly how you feel that’s one of our issues at least he’s somewhat trying to help you with the kids. But you really should explain to him about how important this is to you he can at least devote 30 minutes of time a day to you

Do you have any pets. Maybe get a dog

You need to join a support group. Churches often have mom’s day where they provide child care and the moms meet, have programs and speakers. Also what about a date night? Call your mom and dad . My daughter lives in Fl and we try to talk everyday. Go online and join an interest group.

Definitely need to find friends somewhere … take the kids out during the day and make friends. Show him the same love to see if anything changes

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You need to talk to him about it. I felt this way but talked to my husband about it and he puts a huge effort towards it now. Ilhe makes sure I get out with friends too