My husband constantly jokes that everything in our house is his: Advice?

I’m a SAHM. This was a mutual decision made between my husband and me. It hasn’t even been a year, and he’s “jokingly” made comments about the financial situation. A couple of examples: I mentioned how I hadn’t bought myself anything in months, and he “jokingly” replied that if I had a job, it wouldn’t be an issue. Another example is that we’ve sold our old house, and have bought a new one. However, the new one is solely under his name as my credit score is about 25 points lower than his, and we didn’t want that affecting us getting the best interest rates out there (without us having to buy it down). He “jokingly” comments how it’s HIS house. Upon escrow closing, we got a gift basket, and he “jokingly” comments how it’s actually HIS gift basket. Every single time he does something like this, I tell him how rude, disrespectful, and hurtful it is. I remind him he wanted me to stay home with our baby and that I agreed it was the best idea. And each time, he says he was just joking, and I can’t take a joke. He then proceeds to get upset at me because I’m hurt/upset by it. Am I just too sensitive on the topic, or is he gaslighting me? He’s never been like this with anything else ever, so I don’t want to overreact, but it’s really bugging me. :tired_face:

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I am sorry love. Sit down and talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel. Maybe he doesn’t even realize.

I’d try talking to him one last time and if he doesn’t take that seriously, start looking for a job. There are programs that can help you with daycare expenses, if needed. If he says something about that, I’d explain to him that you’re tired of his “jokes” and will have “your” own things from here on out.

Oh no, hell no. Mistake number one - never get a house with anyone without your name on half.

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My husband is sarcastic a majority of the time, but NEVER has he said anything that we have is solely his. I’m also never told I can’t have anything; my husband tells me to buy what I want because his money is my money too. (Side note: you definitely should have had your name on the house). I’d have an honest talk with him about how his constant “jokes” are seemingly not jokes. No offense, but your husband sounds like an asshole.

You are not being too sensitive, it bothers you, you have repeatedly told him so. He is being a bully.

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I’d make sure my name is on the house. We have 2 houses HE bought because my credit is horrid and my name is on them. He sounds like a dick. Get a job and show him what’s what. I stay home because my husband is military and doesn’t work if I’m not home but if he ever made comments like that I would show him he means nothing and get a job.

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He doesn’t sound very nice and supportive. It sounds like gaslighting to me.

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i’m the same way and my boyfriend says the same things. i promise you’re not overreacting, it hurts me too. i work when i can as a substitute teacher, my pay is $2.75 more than his and he still puts me down because i can’t work as much as i’m the one taking my daughter to her appointments and the one that stays home when his parents aren’t able to take my little.

Stop cleaning HIS house. :woman_shrugging::rofl: seriously, though this would really bother me also. Team has no I. Explain again how this makes u feel ,it’s not Joke , u don’t find it funny and it’s hurtful to you. I’d also wanna know why he keeps saying this … does it bother him ? Is it that important that it’s his ? And for me depending on the answers they might be red flags for me .

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It doesn’t really matter who’s name the house is in, it has to be split if divorced so you would still get it haha tell him that lol

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This is why I will never ever be financially dependent on a spouse again. Been there done that. No thank you. Best thing I ever did for MYSELF was get a job and do more than momming it all day everyday. I could never go back to being a SAHM. I hope things get better for you. Maybe change things up a little for yourself. Good luck.

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I would just snap back and state “Well my lawyer won’t agree, keep it up and find out.” :+1::woman_shrugging:

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It’s not that you can’t take a joke. It’s that he’s not funny lol

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Technically he’s correct :joy:

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Bottom line is you dont like when he jokes like that so he shouldn’t do it. He knows it bothers you. It’s not funny!!

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Depending on your state, remind him that in a divorce, it’s 50/50 & the kids are yours.
See how he likes it.

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If it bothers you, it bothers you. Tell him that this a boundary for you, that you NEED him to respect because it is negatively taking a toll on you. If he truly loves you, it will stop. You may have to remind him a couple times, to keep him on track, but trust me. If he is working on it, you will see the improvement. It won’t happen nearly as often. Boundaries are a wonderful thing. I personally have a hard time setting them, but I know I feel better when I do and I’m taken more seriously.
Hope things get better for you :heart:

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Get yourself on the title at least…and he sounds like an ass, or at least one regarding this topic.

Been here before in relationships, this is 100% gaslighting!

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