I need advice… my husband and I have been together for six years but married for 4. We own a home together and have two kids together. In the past, I always above and beyond for him on holidays. This past Christmas, he did not get me one single thing. Valentine’s Day, he finally got around to ordering me my pandora charm for Christmas. Then a ring I picked and said I like. It’s from pandora. Mother’s Day - nothing. I got him something for Father’s Day. Yesterday was our 4th year wedding anniversary. I got him a detailed package for his truck, a heartfelt card, and a T-shirt. He came home yesterday and didn’t even say Happy Anniversary. He went to the couch and sat down. My sisters and mom live in a house separated from ours on our property. They offered to babysit so we could go out. I ask him, hey, we go out to dinner? He says I don’t have the energy. I work for six days, sometimes seven days a week. I own my business. I had to fight back the tears and didn’t say anything, thinking he would have been joking. He literally fell asleep and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night. We’ve had this y’all many times. I am a simple woman. I am usually very vocal about my thoughts, so it’s hard not to yell at him. But I don’t want to feel like I need to nag. I would have been happy with a card and the Reese Cup. My feelings are beyond hurt.
As someone whose been there maybe kindly try to explain to him how you feel, maybe he will see it now. If id have done this better maybe things would be different.
thats terrible but guess you will have to live with it or leave the sitution
my husband doesn’t do holiday birthday nor anniversary gifts. He shows me every day that he loves me, so I don’t care…
My husband and I have been together 25 years married for 20. I wish I thought as much about an anniversary gift as most. My husband does things for me everyday so no need for a gift on the day we got married.
He sounds like he is a very hard worker. Guys don’t always know what we want. Just be kind and tell him that it really matters to you
He’s not very thoughtful or considerate. I think I’m living with his brother lol…some men are unromantic assholes. He knows, he’s not stupid, as much as it hurts he don’t care. Tell him! And don’t hold back. If he don’t fix it leave his ass!!! Or you will have a whole life of let downs, trust me.
was married to my first husband 22 years went through the same thing been married to my new husband 23 years he did alot for me 7 years into our marriage he had a massive stroke so now it is my turn to be there for him
He stopped trying to be your friend and lover. He needs to be put on notice. Just give him a cars that says hey, I deserve some time and dinner out for putting up with your dumbazz.
Stop doin for him and spend that money on YOU!!!
I have been married for for 29 years and my husband has never been a flower or gift person. So I learned a long time ago to just buy what I want and then we are both happy
Sounds like a breakdown in communication between you both. My husband and I took the test online about the 5 love languages and found we feel loved and appreciated differently. He needs more verbal praise while I’m more physically affectionate. Maybe try talking to him about what each of you needs to feel loved and appreciated so you can both get more of what you need. Talking to a marriage counselor might not be a bad idea either.
My husband isn’t romantic at all. We don’t do gifts much though. We share an account so seems pointless to me to spend money on stuff lol if it’s important to you say something to him.
Try talking to him. Maybe he didn’t realize it was yalls anniversary. It happens. Sounds like he was tired that day since he fell asleep on the couch. Not too big of a problem unless you express your feelings and he disregards them.
Has he always been like this? Is this new behavior? Some people just don’t get how important it is because they’re not sentimental.
What is with everyone saying to just leave anytime things get bumpy? I totally get how your feelings would be hurt girl. And they of course matter. But you know he could be going through something at work or there’s something just going on with him that you aren’t seeing. Yelling at him isn’t the answer. Just ask him to take some time and talk with you and explain how that whole thing really hurt you. He’s with you, and you share a life together. It’s worth having a calm conversation rather than just leave, yell or deal with it as some people like to advise.
Honestly I pick out most of my own gifts I’m just like… Hey you got me this for my Birthday! Thanks I love it LOL.
15 year anniversary is coming up, I might treat myself to something nice 💁😆
I’ve been with mine almost 12yrs(next month). He’s the exact same. On holidays I go ALL out. He does squat.
It’s how his love language works.
BUT daily he shows his love thru little things…like getting up and going out to get me a burger at 2am, cuz I made a comment how one would be SO yummy right then.
It’s letting me sleep in, cuz I had a rough day the day before. It’s taking our son out of the house, telling me to crack the wine and relax. They’ll be gone all day. Etc
So now…at holidays…I tell him what I expect. “Our anniversary is coming up. You’re getting me my card and chocolate (Reese’s🤤)…correct?” Lmao
Bigger holidays…I shop myself and tell him he bought it🤷lol or I take him shopping and tell him he’s paying, as it’s my Christmas gift. He’s ok with it that way lol
Then when wanting to leave the house for something…I give a heads up “got a sitter for next Friday, we’re going out to dinner. 5pm. Be ready to leave!” And tada …he’s always ready.
Does it get frustrating…ohhhhhhhh ya. Almost left him cuz of it a few yrs back lol couldn’t take it. Then one day it clicked …he doesn’t mean it, it’s just how he is…so either accept it for the rest of the good man…or let one part destroy it all.
So now we have a system that works for us. I tell him what I expect or I just buy/plan it and tell him to be there. No excuses. With warning. These days…were both a whole lot happier. I feel like I matter and he feels I finally accept him as he is. Not constantly trying to change him.
Well I would Lustre that you have to live with it but you do have two small children but I see a divorce in your distant future
5lovelanguages.com is a good place to start. Maybe you show your affection in different ways. Missed gifts don’t always mean the love is gone.