My husband and I have been married for 3 years, I work full time, and he stays home and watches our two-year-old son. All he wants to do is play video games, I have to ask for help with everything, and he still doesn’t do it. He stays up until 3 in the morning playing games, and when I ask him to do dinner dishes before bed, they’re still there in the morning, and he tells me he forgets. I asked him to get a part-time job on the weekends, and he told me he applied at multiple places, but none of them got back to him, and then I overheard him talking to his friends online, and he told them he hasn’t applied for any jobs and doesn’t want to. I feel like we’re living two different lives. I get up and go to work in the morning while he’s still sleeping, and when I get home he wants me to watch our son and give him a break while he plays games the rest of the night, then I cook dinner, and he doesn’t eat with us and doesn’t help clean up. We spend maybe a total of 10 minutes together a day. Then the time he does come to say hi, and I’m upset because he doesn’t spend time with us he gets mad and says I’m never happy and that’s why he spends so much time on his computer because he doesn’t know what kind of mood I’m going to be in. He continually spends more and more money on games, this month it was almost $300 and when I say anything he gets upset and says I’m acting like it’s my money when we’re married when I’m not upset he’s spending the money I earned I’m upset because we could have spent the money on something for all of us instead of something just he enjoys.
Well it sounds like he is not doing anything to help make the $$$$ so why should he be able to spend such a large amount on games? You are out working and he’s not even helping at home like he’s suppose to. Pretty obvious he just wants a free ride to be able to do nothing (but play games) cause it doesn’t sound like he’s trying very hard to get a job!! I mean, if he’s staying up all night playing games, how well is he really watching your child during the day?! Time for him to grow up and be a husband to his wife and a father to his child and help support his family!
Grow a pair and go to the bank. Change every fucking thing so he doesn’t have access to it. Do not give any kind of information to him. Give him like $20 a week until he either opens his eyes and gets a freakin job or he finally confesses that he doesn’t really love you and leaves.
He has an addiction and he is not even coming close to being a real husband or father . He is living in a fantasy world . You deserve better and so does your child
Don’t do the “chores” that are his responsibility. You are just reinforcing his bad behavior. If he’s supposed to do the dishes don’t do them, period! I know it’s hard to leave stuff undone but as long as you pick up his slack it will continue and the resentment will grow.
Marriage counseling, if he won’t go, go by yourself.
Sounds like a roommate instead of a husband. He would step up or step out. Marriage takes two. You both give and take and work together. A grown man should be focused on his family and taking care of them not video games…js…
Unfortunately I think it’s time you give him a reality check, take yourself and your son and leave him there with his mess and get out before this turns into a really bad situation, I’m praying for you and your son, hopefully the lazy one will eventually grow up but I seriously doubt it if he hasn’t by now
Maybe a person with a bit of experience? I’ve been married 50 1/2 years. So, let me begin. He does this because you allow it. Take the baby and leave. Let him know how it is to be on his own for a few days. No fixing any food for him. No doing dishes. No doing the laundry for him. No money he can access. He’s taking advantage of you. Time for him to grow up.
Stop being an enabler.
I’m not understanding how he spends money on video games when he doesn’t work? Where does he get that $$ from? Do you give it to him?? If so you’re also wrong!!! Stop giving him money!! If you know he spends it on video games and on crap like that, why keep giving him money?? Get out of that relationship girl!!! He’s not your husband, he’s another child you have to care for. Big No No!
That’s a full blown addiction. Dont let anyone sugar coat it for you. He needs help to break that hold over him and it’s not gonna be easy. I will pray God gives you wisdom to help him break that dependency
You married a child. He doesn’t see the error of his ways so he isn’t going to change. You, unfortunately, will always be the bad guy in this situation. Either get used to it or tell him it’s time for therapy or time to move on.
How is he taking care of your child if he is playing games all damned day long? I believe your child is most likely being neglected and probably yelled at for interrupting your husband’s games. You have a very important choice to make you know what that is. I hope for your sake and your son’s you choose the obvious choice. Enough is enough. You are better than how you are allowing yourself and you son to be treated.
Wash your hands of him I know u have a child together but it’s not gonna get any better till you make the situation change your doing it all by yourself anyway he’s just taking up space and running your bills up so he is basically a room mate that’s got a free ride
Run! He needs a reality check. You are making the money, he is spending it. You will be much better off independently with your son. Maybe if you leave it will wake him up but likely he will continue his ways and blame everything on you. You deserve better! Go get it.
I don’t know why you can’t come to this conclusion yourself… but here goes. He does this because you allow it. Turn off his bank card, take your child to daycare, kick him out. If you have a full time job, and still do everything at home. Sweetie you don’t need him. He helps you in no way. He is draining you in every aspect…leave the relationship and don’t look back
Honey,let me start by saying “people can’t treat you how u don’t let them” and before all y’all keyboard experts tell me I don’t know the whole story,DON’T. She summed it up in the first sentence. She works. He doesn’t. She should not have to ask him to do the dishes or anything else. I’ll bet the farm if the positions were reversed, he would expect you to have the house clean,laundry done and dinner on the table. You say you’ve been married three years. What did he do before your son came along??? Nope,nope,nope. He would be playing video games alright but on someone else’s nickel. Good luck changing him.
Don’t waste your breath, he will not change!!! From what I’ve read in your post, you’ve talked to him and he gets mad, if you give him an alternative he might get even more mad! You have to ask yourself, do I want to spend the rest of my life, living like this?? And you have to think of your child too! Take his name off of all bank accounts! Then take your boy and leave!!! Stay with a friend or do you have family near by? I know it won’t be easy, but, it will be better in the long run for both you and your son. Good luck and God bless!!
That money could go towards child care so he can get a FULL TIME JOB! he needs to grow up! And he’s going to keep treating you how you allow him to treat you!
Play video games with him. Lol. Seriously though, play video games with him. My husband works swing shifts and I dont. He cooks and I do all the house work and take care of the kids when they get home from school. He plays video games too. He always has even when we were dating. He’s the one that got me into playing video games and pc games. My kids play them too. We are just a family of gamers. Lol. We’ve been married almost 11 years now.
I wonder what the advice would be if he was the one who worked… Then came home and sat in front of the computer or console until he went to bed. Would she still have a complaint?