My husband doesn't finish when we have intercourse: Advice?

I have a super awesome boyfriend! I can’t complain about anything at all. He treats me well, my kids well, my family well, and my animals well. He provides and protects. I seriously could not ask for more. He is 47 and I am 41. We get along great and have lots of fun together. He doesn’t have any kids and at this point does not want to have any, so we don’t have any other kids than mine or any baby mamas in the picture either. Everything is pretty hunky-dory. The only thing that bothers me a bit at times is that most of the time, when we have sex, he does not have an orgasm. He finally just gives up. He doesn’t ever say anything about this or even seems disappointed about it. For example - last night, he gave up and went out to play video games like it was nothing. (And no, he doesn’t do that usually. Typically he just cuddles with me, and we go to sleep, but last night he wasn’t tired.) I feel like something must be wrong with me for him not to “get off”. I never had this issue with any partner before. And I can give him blowjobs or handjobs, and he can get off fine. Occasionally he even has problems staying hard when actually having sex, and again - he doesn’t act like he is concerned about it or has a problem with it. Consequently, I don’t say anything because I don’t want to give him a complex about it or make him feel bad about it. I just feel like maybe I am doing something wrong or ???

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Can be low testosterone, he could get that checked out

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Sounds like a medical issue, nothing to do with you. Hopefully he will go get it checked out.

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Given his age, I’d suggest he see a doctor about low testosterone or other problems like ED.

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Does he drink? My ex was the same and it was alcohol related

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Is he diabetic? Because high sugar can cause this and also it affects if he gets hard.

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Have this blood pressure, thyroid, and testosterone checked.

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Have him get his bloods done. Most likely low testosterone.

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Pain medication and sometimes prescription drugs can cause that.

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This is something you NEED to say something about and discuss with him. It’s clearly bothering you and every healthy relationship has open communication about things that bother either partner.

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  1. you are not responsible for his orgasm
  2. why cry over milk that hasnt been spilled yet
  3. if you guys are communicating clearly and in a healthy way, dont get lost in your own head
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It says husband and boyfriend? Depending on how long you’ve been together, he could already be on something and you don’t know? Medication can cause the same problems as not being on medication. It’s best to just ask if he has a regular doctor and if not just suggest seeing one in general without making him feel some type of way.

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It’s not you. Its actually a pretty common problem :pensive: I always feel bad when I encounter this, but it’s not us.
Like if he’s circumcised that could be part of it.

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Anti depressants? Porn addiction? Excessive masturbation issue? There’s a lot it could be…

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Honestly I know exactly where you are coming from. My husband has the same issue. And it hasn’t always been that way. (Been together 16 years) It’s something that’s happened over the last 3 years. But we’ve talked extensively about it because it bothered me… extremely. For 1 my husband’s testosterone was low. Fixed that and things got better for the most part. . . Then he started taking low dose antidepressants. (He needs them and they help him) But it’s a side effect.:disappointed: I promise he’s frustrated as well and no matter how it feels to you… it doesn’t have anything to do with you.
I’m on this journey with you girl.

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He doesn’t want risk having kids together playing on his mind

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His body reacts to the blowjob/hadjob ,I think he enjoys that more than the physical did ,try give him blow job before sex, and nothing is wrong with you it’s on him,

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Having a healthy sexual relationship with another person involves communication. For sure talk about it, he might have low testosterone levels which might be why he can sometimes get off and other times might not. Bring it up in a concerned nice manner so you don’t make him feel bad.

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Definitely have him checked. My husband had this issue, and it turned out to be his heart.

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My neighbor has the same issue. Mostly ED is to blame. He can get off with head but can’t stay hard for actual sex. Its not you babe.