My husband doesn’t seem happy about me being pregnant. Okay, so my husband and I decided to try for another baby after our son turned 2. We expected it to take a little longer for me to get pregnant than what it actually did. It only took about two months. Well, flash forward, he has not seemed excited at all. I’m only four months, and we find out in 2 weeks what we’re having, but I’m so depressed. Like I love that we’re bringing our second baby into this world, but I wish he seemed happy. Our son was not planned at all, but he was thrilled about everything during my pregnancy even tho he didn’t get to physically be there most the time (We lived apart for the first seven months). I honestly thought he would be happier this time since he gets to experience everything with me, but Nope. Our family is super happy, and as I said, so am I. every time I talk to him about it, he says he’s content, but then when I bring the baby up in conversation, he just changes the subject or gets short and acts like he doesn’t care. It’s really making me sad, and honestly, I just don’t want to talk to him about anything. Does anyone have some advice?
That’s got to be hard I’m sorry. My only advice is try talking to him, see what’s going on in his head!!
Sounds like hes on a long lasting period…sounds like a tool!!!
At this point don’t play games. Sit him down, and say I want to know exactly how you feel. Don’t lead with your own feelings. Make the conversation about HIS emotions even though your going crazy. Maybe he really just needs to know you WANT to know how he feels.
You need to talk to him. Men can get PPD too. My husband suffered while I was pregnant with our 3rd. My entire pregnancy was depressing and sucky. I wont get into details, but the day I went into labor my husband was super excited and has been in love with our son ever since
It’s possible he’s stressed out about the finances of a second child coming into the world. My advice is to have a heart to heart with him and find out what’s going through his mind. There could be so many reasons he’s not excited about it. I wish you luck and hope that you are able to find out.
Hmmm I understand both sides of it. Myself and hubs lost our first baby, when I got pregnant for the second time he didnt seem excited at all and wasnt too involved but I understood it was hard to connect with fear of losing another one. I did most of the shopping and appointments etc. He was thrilled with our first baby but was so hesitant with our son. But when he was born man he was an amazing dad! Sending hugs, I know it is hard
Mine was that way with both of my pregnancies. When the time came for them to come into the world he was the happiest person alive.
Ask him. And explain that his demeanor surrounding it seems off to you, and that’s why you’re asking. Don’t just continue taking it personally without talking to him.
My ex-husband was the opposite. He was excited during the pregnancy, then wanted nothing to do with her after she was born. Wouldn’t even take care of her so I could work. I took her to my grandma’s and he ran the streets all night. My grandma ended up taking her from me
So my husband was just about the same. Super excited about the first pregnancy and then with the second he seemed very indifferent. Like wasn’t interested in feeling the baby move or knowing what stage the baby was at ( like oh the baby is as big as whatever now). I asked him about it because it was really getting to me. Like how could you be so super involved and excited about the first but now with our second you don’t seem as thrilled and he responded with: well we’ve already done this so I know what’s going to happen. It wasn’t that he wasn’t excited for our baby but just that it was a been there done that kinda thing for him. He’s a very involved father and loves his children with everything in his being. I definitely wanna add that, but during the pregnancy he was just like yeah… I know what it feels like when the baby moves etc. hang in there mama! It might not be that he’s not excited for your baby, but just that in his mind, it’s something he’s already gone through and the thrill is gone. I hope this makes sense lol
I would sit down and have an honest conversation. Voice all of your concerns and listen to what he has to say. Communication is key. Good luck!
Most men aren’t. It’s not “real” for them until they can hold their child in their hands. Don’t take it personally.
Does he work a lot? My hubby works a lot. He would feel the baby when she moved around. He is constantly working now since she has been born but he stayed at the hospital during the day and my mom at night, so he could take our 5 yo to school in the mornings. She is 7 months old now. He still works a lot and holds her when he is home and watching tv, but I am the primary care giver in our home. He pays all the bills, and I make sure everyone is fed, bathed, and where they need to be, when they need to be there. He took off work both time to be with each baby.
Definitely sit down with him. Let him know that you want to know how feels, regardless of what the answer is. Congratulations on the pregnancy tho, mama! He’ll get there!
Ask him what’s wrong
Men are weird my husband was the same way. Like I told him. What do you think happens when you have unprotected sex??.
Mines the opposite. He’s so happy I’m with #3 and I don’t know how I feel, and I rather not offend moms who can’t have children or are struggling on this forum. Plus I didn’t say I don’t want it, I’m just not feeling the same as I felt about 1&2. So there’s that. I just landed a great job, my kids are all 5& up and my relationship isn’t where I would like it to be but, it is what it is
Its not uncommon for moms to get guilt when they are pregnant after already have a young child. You start to think that maybe they didnt get enough time of your full attention. I felt so guilty I was depressed even though I wanted my second child dearly.
Its possible he’s feeling that way.
Hell, my kids are 7 and 9 now and if I let myself I can feel guilty about being pregnant right now bc I know baby will take time and attention away from them.
Just ask him. But dont get upset when he tells you what it is. Hes allowed to feel how he feels.
I’ve been experiencing the same. This will be our second together. He is not as involved with this one as he was the first one. I’ve had others tell me that it could just he because it is the second so he is more calm with this one. I do know, after having a talk with him and him breaking down, that he has been concerned with finances and worried we wont have everything we need for him. His fear was unrealistic since we already had all the basic necessities and more prepared then we were with the first one. It was just his anxiety and fear getting in the way. I just talked to him and explained to him that we have all this stuff and that babies do not need as much as people assume