We are married for four years, and we have a three-year-old. For the last 4 yrs we moved 13 hrs by car from the family in a dif country we had to learn the language find jobs etc we have a good apartment we got trough a huge surgery of his where he couldn’t walk for almost half a year, but now he s back on his feet working again. I got 60 pounds heavier; in all this time, I worked, and he also did when he could. We are stable financially and did it all without help, BUT I feel like this whole move away from family and friends, and our life just broke us. He acts like he doesn’t want a family anymore. But he says he does so Ill shut up. He won’t help at home even if I work as well. He doesn’t talk to me never initiates conversation he never touches me never shows affection in all my photos on my phone for the last years it’s my son visiting different places and me. I feel like he s my roommate. He just wants to work those 8 hrs by the time he s home our child sleeps, and he watches tv or be on his phone till he falls asleep. He doesn’t want to go out, not even weekends when he s free im the only one who goes out with our child. It’s like he has a son only when he s in the mood. I don’t know I feel so lonely for the last two months. Maybe we spoke a sentence every day, and it was about our child. I cry every night he just keeps sleeping when he hears me cry. He says I’m faking it cuz I don’t need anything. I don’t know anymore its been like this for so long I remember being pregnant and it was still like this I feel so stupid at the playground because the other day a mum told me she thought I was single cuz she saw me alone all the time… my son never really saw his parents being affectionate or in love. He doesn’t want to go to counseling. He just wants to be left alone watching tv or scrolling on facebook. I really need advice, please
Sounds like he’s depressed and got use to doing nothing after his major surgery
If you’ve told him it’s a problem and he’s not willing to work on it or fix it then let him go! Your son don’t need to see you treated this way and think it’s ok!!
Maybe he is depressed due to his surgery? I know when my mom had surgery and had to learn how to walk all over again she was really depressed. It took it’s toll on her and she felt so useless she didn’t want to be bothered. I think maybe he’s going through the same. He felt useless after the surgery and maybe he felt like more of a burden to you than a spouse. He nay still love you but feels like a burden so he shuts himself off from you to try to push you away due to how he feels about himself
Maybe you should take a break. Tell him that the sparks gone and how you feel about his lack of affection. If he is left without you, your baby and left to truly be alone perhaps only then could he appreciate his family. When or if he does come back around DATE him! Don’t just jump back into the same marriage make him court you and shower you with the affection you’ve been without. You son will see that loving side of you two, you’ll feel adored again and he’ll have his family.
Theres a man out there that will love every piece of you and your son believe that!
Leave him. Live your best life and quit wasting time with a man who doesn’t give u any of his time. Go now.
you should never have to feel like this sweetie…maybe its time to move on and see what he thinks about that
It sounds like he’s depressed. He definitely needs counseling, but you can’t force him to go. If he is not willing to get help, I would suggest taking a break from your marriage so that you can mentally heal. Get counseling for yourself. Find yourself again, outside of him. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I hope that he will eventually get help.
Leave, take your son and find a new life on your own. You’ll be worlds happier.
Pack a bag for u and your child for a week or 2 dont say anything to him. See how long to takes him to realise he’s messed up something amazing. If he doesn’t in the time period… Finish packing
Both of you are depressed. Not healthy for anyone involved.
It sounds as if he has issues that he needs to work Thur. The health issue and not being able to work or help had left him depressed. It could also be that he went Thur this without his family being there. You can not force him to get the help he needs. So now focus on yourself and child. Find a place for you move too. Start therapy for you. The move may be what you both need. This may even make him wake up and realize he was not the only one who went thru this. God bless and good luck.
He sounds pretty horrible, telling you you are faking it! If you’ve told him how you feel and he still isn’t receptive, I’d walk.
Sounds like he is depressed. if he gain weight, doesnt like being in his own skin, has no friends or family around and a 3 yr old around and now having to get back to life probably is taking a toll on him. Maybe is beating himself up inside, regretting things or feeling guilty. If anything suggests he get on anti depressants and maybe later down the road get counseling. Maybe suggest moving home as a family.
I think you are better off leaving and finding your own happiness with your son. Move back home where you have family and friends to support you. You can’t fix him, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It sounds like he’s made his choice, now it’s your turn.
Before you leave talk with a doctor about this .He is feeling useless and does not see the problem he is making right now .That does not help find a way then maybe you should separated from him and tell him you do care but liveing this way is not good for his son or you .He needs help with his problems and you need help with your feelings as well
Talk to him ask if hes ok my husband broke his jaw in may of this year it was wired shut for 2 months start of this month he had another surgery on it he got and still gets depressed because when this happened our youngest was only 3 weeks old he just got back to work a couple months ago and went back afyer his surgery 2 more plates put in 5 days after thos weekend he worked 38 hours in the last 48 hours and off today so hes playing with kids but our communication is great he says hes deppressed and stressed so I try to make his days off as relaxing ad possible and he has no choice bit to cuddle I go and lay on him hug him and show him my apprication y’all need to have a heart to heart talk and see what y’all can do together to help eachother in times of stress
Leave him or get a boyfriend
It’s a long road ahead Stay strong you have shown you can do just that