My husband doesn't spend time with our 10-week-old: Thoughts?

My son is ten weeks old now. My SO doesn’t spend time with him. Maybe 15 min every night. He always seems to find other things to do. He has said to me more than once (after I gave birth) that he just doesn’t like babies. It blows my mind, and it hurts me because I am completely overcome with love every time I look at my son. Do I address it and insist that he spend more time interacting with him? Or is it better to just leave it be and hope he comes around when my son gets a little older? I feel like I’m a single parent on most days. And to add insult to injury, he’s got a daughter from a previous marriage who he and his mom never shut up about. I feel like I get jealous on behalf of my son that his dad seems to care much more for his four-year-old daughter than my infant son. And I worry that if that continues that it will affect him. My son is ten weeks old now. My SO doesn’t spend time with him. Maybe 15 min every night. He always seems to find other things to do. He has said to me more than once (after I gave birth) that he just doesn’t like babies. It blows my mind, and it hurts me because I am completely overcome with love every time I look at my son. Do I address it and insist that he spend more time interacting with him? Or is it better to just leave it be and hope he comes around when my son gets a little older? I feel like I’m a single parent on most days. And to add insult to injury, he’s got a daughter from a previous marriage who he and his mom never shut up about. I feel like I get jealous on behalf of my son that his dad seems to care much more for his four-year-old daughter than my infant son. And I worry that if that continues that it will affect him.

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I hope it gets better. That one hurts a lot.

Maybe your partner will connect with him when he’s a little bit older and can interact more…? Encourage it but don’t push it too much. He could also be still adjusting :blush:

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Some people just aren’t baby people. I think he will come around.

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I bet it will get better when the baby can interact and play more. I’m sure he loves his son… some people take longer to connect and feel that deep love. It just seems weird to those of us that feel it right away.

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My boyfriend refused to spend any time with our daughter untill she was about 4 months old. He was absolutely terrified something would happen and he wouldnt know what to do. He had never been around babies or young children so hes clueless. He also said babies creep him out which i didnt argue with sometimes she is kind of creepy when she just stares into my soul or screams at the dark corner.

My guy wasnt too hands on in the beginning, but since our son has gotten older and less fragile (less scary to them) he always paying attention to him.

Let him alone, he’ll regret it later when his child wont go to him…hell probably get better as baby grows, gets active… dont force it.

My kids father wasn’t really helpful during the new born baby stage as they got older he helped I think he was just nervous he may do something wrong or not know how to settle them

I’m going through the exact same thing with my 6 week old. He always claims to be too busy. And when he is here and I ask him to feed him or anything like that he always has something else to do. I asked him if he wanted to give him his bath the other night and he said no, I’m not good at that. Mind you he has a 9 and 11 yr old from a previous relationship that he’s always bragging about how he raised them himself because their mom was a junkie. I’m doing it all alone too and at my wit’s end. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me…

Some people aren’t baby people. I absolutely will not hold someone else’s baby. My hubby got better with our oldest the older she got. Our youngest is 1 so she’s not quite there yet.

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Maybe start by calling the baby “our son” instead of “my son”.

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I let my husband get away with saying he ‘just didn’t like babies’ and hoped he would become more involved once our oldest began walking and actually interacting with us. He went from ‘not being a baby person’ to ‘I dont know how to interact with the kids because they arent close to me’. I would definitely push him.

My husband was scared he’d accidentally hurt our daughter when she was itty bitty so he was somewhat the same. By time 6months came it was totally different. Since she was 1yr they have been inseparable.

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Honestly, I felt this way. Until both of my children were over the age of two, he had very little relationship with them. Once they turn into people with personality’s, I think men have an easier time connecting. We were joking about having a third the other day, and I know going in, I’m basically a single mom with the baby until it’s around 2. :laughing: my daughters are now 4, and almost 7. And he has an amazingly great and different relationship with each of our girls. :heart:

I’ve seen this before. Babies can make many men feel inadequate, especially in front of the baby Mom. Nurturing comes naturally to a Mom that has carried the child for 9 mths, felt it move, knew when the baby had the hiccups, etc. I found it took a little longer for some Dad’s. He’ll come around. I wouldn’t make it a stress point, as that will just increase the inadequate feelings. I would just find natural ways to leave him and the baby together. Alone. Starting with 30 mins, and increasing. Encourage each success. It’ll come. I can almost guarantee it.

I think a lot of men are like that. They just don’t feel the bond as quickly. They usually get better once baby is a little bigger and can actually play

What he said theres nothing wrong with, my first 12 months with iur baby has been really hard, im also not a baby person however toddler stage is finally rewarding :woman_shrugging:

Babies aren’t fun to men. Wait till it starts doing more and he will be just as in love

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maybe hes just scared to hurt the baby since the baby is still so small