My husband doesn’t want to take my mom, 63 years old and live together under the same roof. What should I do? I am the only daughter, and my mom’s health is not so good.
Figure out who you like better and live with them.
Don’t turn your back on family
That’s your mother. I’d ask him if it was his mother would he turn his back on her?
Keep talking. Understand his concerns. If you have brothers get them involved. Evaluate your mother’s resources. Does she need home health? Community social workers can help you sort everything out. Take care yourself. You are in a difficult position.
You only have one mom ! And she took care of you when you needed her as a child .Good luck with your decision .
There is way more to the story…
Find another solution, maybe an assisted living type home for her. Moving someone in means taking responsibility for them and their needs. It’s not something you should force your husband to do. It not only means this person will be in your home, but now there will be more financial burden, time burden, space burden, stress burden. You aren’t just saying hey I love my mom I want to help her, you are saying hey I want my mom to live with us, I want our bills to now include her needs, our personal time to now include her, or communication as a couple to now be influenced by her thoughts and presence…it’s not just “if you care about my mom you will do this” it’s “is it fair to put this responsibility on my husband, who clearly is not okay with it”
If you have brothers. They have wives , as you have a husband. Talk with them why should you carry the whole burden. It’s a family matter not just yours.
You’ve only got one mum, point blank. And if the shoe was on the other foot no doubt your mum would take you’s in.
Ask him if it was his mother needing help how would he feel if u told him the same thing? Exactly he wouldn’t like it…never turn ur back especially on ur mom…but also if ur mom needs extremely help try to get a permanent caregiver that u can trust to help her at home but then idk the situation but if it was my mom needing help…my mom’s moving in…he don’t like it… too bad idc what he says lol
First, I’d take an honest look, and ask myself why he doesn’t want it. Is he being selfish, or is there a not so good history with your mom? If she’s caused problems in the past, proceed with caution. There are ways to take care of your parents without moving them in.
If tell him to leave then that’s your mother. He’s very wrong.
He’s probably worried about privacy and doing what he wants in his home. Its a very hard decision because obviously you should take care of your elders but it may destroy her marriage.
My mom moved in with us in July, I am super lucky though, hubby on board
Get another husband you ONLY have
Find a apartment close by. Get social services to help with part time in-home care. She’s your mom. That’s true. But I know I can’t live with my mom ( different story). But it doesn’t mean you can’t look after her. Also, now might be a good time to reevaluate your marriage. Seems like there is more to the story.
There’s a story here. I can’t form an opinion not knowing what the story is.
Why does your husband feel that way? Where was your mom staying before? What are her health issues? Can you take care of her legitimately? What are her finances like? Will she be helping financially? Do you have room? Etc etc…
Never turn your back on your mother.
Im sure he has a reason…so im thinking there is a whole lot more to this story…HOWEVER…she is family…and family is the most important thing