My husband gets mad when I ask him how long he is going to be out with his friends: Advice?

My husband leaves to hang with friends pretty regularly. I have no problem with this, but when I ask how long he’ll be gone, he always says, “a bit.” This either means two hours or has lasted as long as 9 hours and every variation in between. If I press a bit to see how long he actually means, he says he gets all upset and makes me out to be controlling. I find it disrespectful he won’t be even a bit more specific. Am I overreacting?

50 Likes

Nope. He should have respect for you and let you know. Communicate.

7 Likes

this is so my husband :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes::persevere::persevere:

You are not over reacting what 9 hours is this during the evening i would be concern on what he’s doing

1 Like

He sounds like a crying toddler. Do the same to him and don’t tel him when you’ll be home. He’ll figure it out!

4 Likes

I guess it depends if it works both ways. If you can do the same and he doesn’t ask then I guess it’s fine. If it doesn’t work both ways then there is a problem

2 Likes

It’s a valid question!
Forbidding him would be a whole different thing. Asking is not a problem!

5 Likes

I would reciprocate. Arrange a night away with friends. Say you are going out for a bit. Return the next day. See how he likes it!!!

21 Likes

Hello it’s called marriage. Doesnt he want to know when you’ll be home?

3 Likes

Yes. I would take it as being disrespectful to me . if he is going out with his friends so regularily, why so secretive? I would find out what hes really doing. Doesnt sound right, but add that to making you feel like you’re in the wrong for asking him! Up to NO GOOD!!

3 Likes

Do the same thing, go out with your friends. If he asked you what time you will be back " a bit".

2 Likes

Stop asking. Don’t show that it bothers you. Then you shouldn’t have a problem. Only try to call him if it is an emergency.

1 Like

What kind of grown man hangs out with his friends for 9 hours? Yikes. He sounds like a child.

23 Likes

I deal with the same thing!! Lol. It drives me insane…I don’t get out of the house much, so I’m always alone :pensive:

Mine says he won’t be long, 4 hours later he returns from his mates. I just wish he would say, Il be away for a few hours, Il let you know what time I’m thinking of coming home, not that difficult!

1 Like

This is my fiance exactly. We used to be good at communicating but over the years it’s been close to non existent. He will leave to hang with his dad n be gone all day. Or he will make up what’s he’s doing n be gone for days…come to find out he’s with his friends. No way to get ahold of him when he’s gone. Let’s just say when he gets back after days of being gone we have issues.

He’s cheating. I hate to say it, but if a man gets defensive when you ask, he’s hiding something. You are in a committed relationship, you should be able to ask without question.

Go out with your friends one night and “forget your phone” at home. If you text him while your out, does he answer you? Don’t give him a time when you’ll be back. Give him a taste of his own medicine. If he starts accusing you of cheating, it’s a subconscious admission from him that he is. Pls remember this

15 Likes

He is being really disrespectful and childish, why would he want to be out with his friends so much is beyond me, ask yourself if this is really what you want in a marriage.

2 Likes

Turn those tables. It’s disrespectful what he’s doing. Go out with your girls and give him a taste of his own medicine :woman_shrugging:t2:

5 Likes

Don’t ask him when he’ll be home. Tell him when to be home. For example if he leaves at 5pm, depending on how you feel you can tell him this… “Have fun with your friends. Be home by 7.15pm. If you’re running a little late, please give me the courtesy of a call or text me so I can expect you home no later than 7.45pm. Have a good time baby.”

7 Likes