My husband got mad that I wanted to sleep over with my friends: Advice?

Hi, I’m a working mom of my wonderful daughter. She’s turning four. My husband and I had a big misunderstanding last night. I was asking him if I could sleepover with my best friends, who are gays and girls, no straight man. We usually do that once in a while, like once every three months or more. I do have two jobs: a public school teacher at day and a tutor to three students after duty. Aside from that, I do have many extra jobs just to support our family since I asked him to go back to school while he’s still young. He got really upset that I wanna hang out with my friends even he knew them all. All I want is a break, and now he’s telling me that I ain’t happy being a mom. I just want some time with my friends, which seldom happens. I have worked two months after I underwent CS, and I was happy to do that for our family. Any advice? Ps. I was the one who pushed my husband to go back to school 'cause I want him to pursue his dreams.

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Your husband sounds like a controlling a-hole

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You had to ask your husband permission to go to your friends house?
Nah don’t like that.

Even if they were straight males it shouldn’t matter :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Why cant u just hangout without spending the night

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In my experience, that probably meant he misses you and is lonely. Women will nag our men “I never see you” “Take me out” “Why don’t you come home on time”. Guys don’t really do that. With y’all’s crazy schedule, he might be missing your company. Spend some time focusing on him and then ask again. You might be surprised.

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I’m a huge proponent of if you have a family it’s time to act like you have a family. Not saying that you can’t go out with your friends and have a good time but you should be coming home. Just my 2 cents worth. Also, how would you feel if he wanted to go spend the night at his friends house?

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Is he your husband or your daddy? How much more do you have to do to keep everyone else happy? I’m all for discussing with your SO about things before you do them but you are right. You do deserve a break and hubby should be thankful to have someone that gives her all while he only goes to school. P.S. if you can work more than one job and take care of kids and run a household then hubby can work as well.

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If he came home an asked you could he sleep over with his 2 lesbian friends , would u be ok?

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If it were in reverse, him wanting to go hang out with his boys, spend the night there, would you have an issue?

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make child care arrangement for your kid and go hang with your friends.

I agree with your Hubby. Stay home with your family. That’s how families break up.

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I love sleep overs with my friends and im a grown adult with a kiddo. Y’all need to lighten up.

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Sounds like you are really busy, how much do you time do you spend with your husband? Maybe he wants to have a night away with you, just the 2 of you but doesnt know how to communicate it properly…

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Is he 12?
Why on earth would you ask permission to stay at a friends???

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One of the greatest joys of being a woman, is that it’s always socially acceptable to have a sleepover with your friends every now and then! I see no issue with it As long as there’s no history of distrust in your relationship, It should be just fine!
Edit* This is coming from somebody who would not mind if he went and stayed somewhere with his friends. Men often go on hunting trips and things like that. Why can’t we? This is coming from somebody who also has a lot of trust in our relationship. We also live in a small town about an hour away from our friends. So there’s that too. I understand. It doesn’t work for everybody. I think it just depends on the relationship and situation YOU’RE in.

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First off I think it’s odd that you need to sleep over to see friends. And second I don’t blame him for being upset. If my partner was pressuring me to go back to school because I’m young I would be livid! It’s just not something you tell someone to do. If he truly wanted to go back to school then don’t you think he would have ? Or at least talked to you about it?
Idk I’m not trying to judge but I’m on his side on this one.

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It’s not asking permission as much as having respect for your spouse to make sure they are cool with it. If your man said hey I’m staying at my buddies whether you like it or not. Pretty sure that isn’t going to end well.
I have 4 kids. I’m at sahm.
I go to my brother and sis in laws for a one night sleepover once every couple months to get my head together again.
Nothing at all wrong with that. My husband doesn’t mind at all as long as it’s planned and not dropped in his lap the day before.
You need to have a mutual understanding. And make it a plan so it’s not inconveniencing your marriage, child(ren) or any other responsibilities. As they do come first.
But we all definitely need that time to step back and unwind. Your man included.
Maybe he’s upset that you get your time and he doesn’t.
Maybe you’re taking more time away in other ways then you realize.
Sit down and talk. Figure out why he’s upset and go from there. Not really fight worthy. Misunderstandings require good communication. Explain how you feel. Am let him explain how he feels. And move forward with a plan that works for all of you.

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He sounds like a dick

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Being an adult and asking another adult permission is red flag! Controlling clearly. I wouldn’t worry to much honestly, but I would get rid of him.

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That’s weird… stay home with your family. Pick your battles, don’t fight over a sleepover :roll_eyes: what are you, 12?

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