My husband had an affair and I can't stop thinking about it: Advice?

If you are willing to keep him in your life, then you need to try to learn to let it go. That’s the choice you have made. If you cant it will never woke out. This happened to me and I chose not to be paranoid for the rest of my life so I didn’t take him back.

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Iam the same i think its been ayr now for me when i found my husband cheated he still wont admit how long the affair was n its in my head daily on the outside i look fine but on the inside i hurt ik now theres no second chance i think iam done crying n all but i think and ik theres no future and iam going to leave he had change n all but iam not convince now i told my self theres no use of a relationship that allways be in my mind thatbhe had cheated so i left n feel better

I know that feeling not after that long of a relationship. But it is heart breaking and why I’ve been single for 6 years. I am sorry and I hope you both get through it.

Leave!! Once a cheater always a cheater

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You need your own therapy. You may never get over it. I never did.

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Your relationship is probably over. It will never go away… unless he goes away.

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Once the trust is broken I feel like the relationship is over. I’m sorry. But living in misery will not help the situation. It’s better to face the truth and move on with your life. It’s not over yet. So live it to be happy.

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A three month affair isn’t a mistake it’s a decision. He may have made major improvements but I wouldn’t stay if I were you. I personally wouldn’t be able to be fully secure. If you think it’s worth saving, that’s your choice. If you decide to leave, you’re within your rights. He chose to make his choice, you’re free to make yours.

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I am struggling with this also. 2.5 years later and I have days where I feel like I’m back 2.5 years ago. I pray that I can get past this but I just don’t know. I met my husband when I was 14, we had our first child when I was 16. I’m 37 years old now and can’t get over the one person I trusted with my life did this to me… I will pray for you and hope your able to move past it. Lord knows I am trying to move past this for my kids but damn… it is hard!!!

Leave! They usually do it again & you won’t ever be able to trust him!

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Some people can overcome these circumstances. I personally am not one of those. I can not forgive & forget. Once the trust is broken there is no gaining it back. I knew I would drive myself insane if I stayed so I filed for divorce within the same week I found out my ex was cheating. Best decision I ever made. Absolutely have 0 regrets.
May be better for you to just move on. You can at least say that you tried.

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Some people aren’t wired to forgive this. Ever :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Maybe talk to him one. On one bed hind close door just u and him

You will never look at him the same. He betrayed you. I wouldn’t be able to stay in a relationship if my man cheated. A 3 month affair was a choice he made… it wasn’t a one time thing.

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it will never be the same been through that before

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Sometimes you need to take a break and heal on your own. And then try to work it out again if you still feel like you want to and he has remained faithful during that time.

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Trust is hard to regain and honestly the thoughts you’re having probally want ever go away fro what he did and you’re just going to live unhappy and eventually have pure hatred for him and it be toxic for y’all to be together . Some people can get over it with therapy but if that’s not helping it may be the end of things

I think you’re trying to figure out how to forgive him since you’re staying with him.
You need your own therapist and work on trusting him again. If he says it won’t happen again, try to believe him-some ppl do change.

He will cheat again,
I’ve been there to, much promising of it meant nothing, your my world, I love you ect ect.
We tried to make it work, but he did it again twice!!!
Once they cheat and you let it go, they will do it again and again.

I threw him out, he went to the girl he’d been seeing, he’s cheated on her several times now and she’s just thrown him out too!!!

Walk away x

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you never get over it

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