My husband had an affair and I can't stop thinking about it: Advice?

I’d be with the others and say that the trust is broken and it’s time to move on. Maybe not seeing him daily would help you to not think about the affair. Best wishes to you!!

Maybe you need to go to counseling by yourself so that you can express yourself in a safe space. Then you can decide whether to stay or go.

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That’s really tough. I’m so sorry for what that man has put you through. You deserve to be honored. It’s entirely your call to make, if you feel that this can possibly be moved past somehow. My only advice is this - don’t push counseling and therapy and whatnot, because in my personal experience that only helps so much when it comes to relationships. If you really want true healing and connection then you two MUST focus on furthering your connection and building up your love again. And he needs to accept that he made a huge mistake and he needs to agree to work with you however you ask him to, in order to gain your trust back. It’s all about the level of connection you can regain and build from.

Time, rebuilding of trust.

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You’ll never get over it. Been there done that! Trust me. You’ll never get over it

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Leave. End of story. It will always be in the back of your mind

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You don’t, you’re done with that cheating guy

Go have an affair too. Show him how you felt when he had one.

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You need therapy very much. You will never forget it entirely. I do think a Therapist can help, to save your marriage it would be worth it. You would always regret not giving it a chance. Good luck and God Bless!

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This is really hard, I havent experience what you are going through but if it was me I would leave him. I know it sound hurt but if it stucjs in your head everyday it is not healthy at all. It best to leave and move on. if you really love him and if he does love you then counselling would do. it sound like he doesn’t want counseling so what the point.

Personal counseling and self love helped me.

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It’s time to leave him.

You either forgive him or you don’t. You have to quit punishing him for something that you forgive him for if that’s what you decide to do. However it will take time to trust again

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Similar experience and after trying to work it out I realized I wasn’t strong enough to carry the weight of his sins. It was eating me alive.

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I been through this myself and honestly if you constantly keep thinking about it then it will drive you mad in the end, you need to decide whether you are willing to move on from it permanently to make the marriage work or if not then its time to leave to begin a new life

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There is more the story. Who ended the affair? Did he admit the affair or was he caught? Does he try to excuse the behavior or own up to it?

These answers would play a part. Personally, even with children, if I was cheated on, I’d leave. You don’t trip and fall into a woman’s pants.

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Often times an affair has little to do with the partner. You’ve been with your husband for 17 years. People become complacent and another person reaffirming your attractiveness or worth is often too much of a draw to pass up. I’m not sure why it’s such a big deal for you. He obviously values you and loves you. He’s willing to work things out and do what is necessary for you to move on. Why does it matter? He’s still the person you loved. He’s still your friend. He still cares about you. I disagree with everyone here who says “3 months isn’t a mistake/it’s a decision”. Yea, it was a decision. And sometimes the decisions we make are wrong. And sometimes we need to be shown that we’re hurting the people we love before we understand the need for a change. Human relationships are fluid. So is your relationship to your husband. Carrying his past actions against him will eventually sabotage your relationship in the same way the affair sabotaged it. I think you need to make a commitment to either work through this and stay with him, or leave. It’s up to you to know if he’s worth it.

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Do you think he would have stayed if it was you who cheated? I don’t think you will get over it I couldn’t. The sexiest thing is trust and once it’s gone it’s gone

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Sometimes you don’t and that’s ok too. If you can’t move past it and are unhappy, you need to think about what kind of future you want.

Move on. Things for you will never be repaired in your mind