My husband had an affair and now I don't know if I want him in the room when I give birth: Advice?

I am due with baby number 3 in September (which isn’t far away), and I just recently found out my husband has been having an affair. I have no idea what to do. As much as I do not want him to be in the delivery room, but he is the father. As hurtful and uncomfortable it is, I still feel like he should be allowed to see the birth of his child. Has anyone else in the group ever experienced anything like this before? I could certainly use some kind words and good advice here. I’m devastated and heart-broken.


I think when he slept with someone else he gives up the right to have his feelings taken into consideration. He didn’t take yours. But it’s your body and you choose.


Well 1.
Leave him.
That’s all the advice I have for you.
Dont understand why you’d want to stay with him after that


No. Just no your feeling during birth and delivery trump any of his feelings he lost the right to have his feelings considered when he cheated he doesn’t need to be in the room.


Don’t feel guilty if u don’t want him there. If he misses the birth it’s HIS fault and because of HIS actions/infidelity. Don’t keep any of the blame for yourself. Had he not hurt you in the worst possible way, he would be there. Period. Birth is hard enough without making it harder on yourself. Make sure the experience is exactly what YOU want!


I’d let him see the baby after my delivery. You don’t wanna stress yourself out and I wouldn’t want my husband to see my body if he cheated on me.


I feel like if you’re gonna stay with him you should worry about you guys fixing the relationship for now and see how far you get when it is time to have the baby instead of worrying about that right now. Unless you aren’t going to stay with him than just see if he stays constant with all of the pregnancy things.


Seeing the birth of your child is a privilege not a right and as vindictive as it may seem YOUR comfort is all that matters during childbirth


I’m so sorry I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to remind you that your health and peace of mind are the top priority right now. Whatever decision will be better and less stressful for you is what you should consider. You got this girl​:heart::muscle:


If I was you. I wouldn’t want him in there. Yes if he wants rights to the child he can come in after i give birth. But labor is such a emotional, hard, personal thing… I would just have my mom in there with me. That’s about you during the labor. After the baby is born it can be about him and the baby.


I would only allow him to see baby after delivery. You need a strong support system with you during delivery. Your mom or a best friend etc.


I went through the exact same thing. It was a hard decision but I ended up deciding to let him be there for the birth. I didn’t do it for him. I would have rather have knocked his chicklets out for him. I did it because I put my son first. I didn’t want my son to ever say that his dad wasn’t there because I wouldn’t let him be there.
Honestly though, it was really uncomfortable for me and I felt like I should have had someone else there for me besides him. I absolutely despise him…even more so when I was in labor. I recommend that you invite someone else there to be your support system and let him just fade into the background like he isn’t even there. In any case. Hugs to you! You’ve got this! :heartpulse:


My boyfriend was working when I went into labor, he made it to the hospital minutes after she was born. They are both healthy and doing well even with him missing it. If you don’t feel comfortable for you, then listen to yourself.

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He is not pushing a baby out. You get the final say in anything to do with your labor. Maybe have him wait outside and after the baby is born he can come in, if you want.

Personally I’d tell him to beat feet and he can see baby after you’ve given birth. It’s already going to be a lot of stress having him there and you’re feelings going into overdrive isn’t going to be something you need at that moment. You need people you know you can trust and honestly he doesn’t seem to be one of those right now.


You need to do what is going to make you most comfortable. You baby isn’t going to know who is in the room when he is born and at this point your husband really has no solid ground to stand on. I’m so sorry that you are having to deal with this.


He’d be on the outside wishing he could look in if it were me. You make your bed you gotta lie in it.


It’s the adult thing to do so great job for that!

He did wrong yes. Should she leave him? Probably. But he did her wrong and what he did has nothing to do with his child. That’s a him and her issue. I would let my husband in delivery room. My ex husband was in the delivery room after many cheats. No we werent together. But he was still the father and he was and is the best dad on the planet.


You’re allowed to choose whoever you want in the room. If you aren’t sure you want him there, then you can tell him you don’t want him there. The hospital won’t force you to allow him in the room and if you tell them you don’t want him there, they will keep him out. He made a choice and he has to live with the consequences of that choice. You deserve to be completely comfortable and as relaxed as possible while giving birth. If having him there will upset or distress you, then I’d say kick him out.