I’ve been with my husband for 11 years, and only 4 of them married. I’ve known him since elementary school Nd. We have always been great friends. As we got older, we became best friends. We have two beautiful daughters together and another baby on the way any day now. He has been acting strange since August, at least when I started to notice. In August he told me he didn’t know what he wanted with his life and us. He then apologized and said he needed to fix himself and get help, and he wasn’t going to give up on his family and us. Also, I’ve been hormonal and jealous of a co-worker that I feel he’s gotten emotionally attached. I have also asked him for more help than I used to. In November, he took me out on a date before our anniversary and then announced on thanksgiving he wanted a divorce and wasn’t in love with me. Idk what to think and how to handle this. This is all a big shock to me and both our families. Anyone that knows him seems to think he’s depressed or maybe midlife crisis. He hasn’t responded well to his mom, and he hasn’t responded well to friends who have been there for him. He also told our 9 yr old that we were separating, which crushed me. Christmas was also very hard on us all. He has also done jew things that he’s never done. He’s been going out randomly and comes home late. I don’t want to believe that he has been seeing someone, but again I feel like he is someone different that I do not know. I know the stress from his new position at work doesn’t help, and our finances haven’t been the best. I just want my loving husband and best friend back. Has anyone gone through this where you know he’s a good man, but something snapped and how did you handle it? Did things get better?
I hope hes not cheating on you
He see someone else…
Girl, he’s seeing someone else, he’s emotionally attached to a coworker and taking you on a rollercoaster ride you did not sign up for. Take control back.
I mean, he said he wanted a divorce and yall are separated…if yall are gonna live together, you’re going to have to learn to deal with it. Or he needs to leave. He’s broken up with you, and it’s time to leave it be since he’s obviously not interested in fixing it.
Leave he’s definitely with someone else and you deserve better sometimes people grow apart it’s best to let him go hes already stated what he wants so why are you holding onto something that is no longer there I know you are shocked and in disbelief but its time to just worry about you and your children hugs
He told you what he wanted. Now you need to get legal counsel. TOMORROW
You don’t give enough details about the coworker for me to say he’s most likely having an affair but that’s what it sounds like. It’s possible he could be depressed, there’s more than one reason for staying out late but if you have a feeling, trust it. Your gut is almost never wrong.
The worst part if this story is you are pregnant which makes your emotions more intense. I would not leave my home my children’s home. I would see an attorney asap and get advice for parenting plan and child support.
Leave now , trust me . Been there … don’t hold on
Doesn’t matter if he is seeing someone else. He outright broke it off with you and trying to hold him back with you against his will? What he said needs to be heard not stuffed off. Its smart to support the kids regarding a split but that needs to be a unified front so get on board. Then figure out living arrangements as you split so theres no curveballs with a new baby involved.
Sorry gal but he never sowed his oats and now he wants to. He’ll get out there, realize that he wasn’t missing much, and want to come back. You are strong enough to forgive if you want to but you definitely do not have to. Decide.
This seems to be becoming the norm in our society, men get bored with their lives, and they always seem to find another woman to bring excitement back to their lives. So I know everyone on here is commenting the cold hard truth, and are being a bit insensitive about it, but they are correct. You need to go ahead and wrap the idea around your head that he is already cheating on you and is no longer putting your needs as a priority in his life. So you need to ask yourself what you need to do that is best for you and your children, without him in your life! Plan it out now! Make sure you get child support figured out! Plan your lawyer visit! Do you want him to move out or yourself? Do you have family that can help? Hurry and get all of your ducks in a row, and then confront him!
It really sounds like he’s having an affair, I’m so sorry!
Also, it isn’t really cheating if he’s asked for a divorce
If he told you he wanted a divorce and told your kid you’re separated sounds like you have all the info you need! It sucks and it hurts but sounds like he has already went thru the stages of moving on and now it’s your turn. Wishing you and your kids the best
Even the people you’ve loved the longest can do the most heart shattering things. My uncles gf of 13 years who he has 2 kids with, cheated on him 2 months before their wedding date, he caught her kissing his close cousin that my uncles considered brothers growing up because they were all so close, now none of us even speak to that side of the family and that bitch is still with our cousin who has no job, no vehicle, and still lives at his parents place. People do stupid shit and you can’t do anything but say fuck it and let them be even if it destroys you to do so.
Just went through this myself. He wasn’t cheating. He was going through an internal crisis of sorts. Everyone told me he was cheating but they don’t know my husband like I do. Although he never told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore, that’s the only significant difference between your story and mine. I did, however, lash out at him in the attempt to get a reaction and told HIM I wasn’t in love but things couldn’t have been further from the truth. I know this site is meant for people to ask questions but just be careful and be warned that for people who don’t REALLY know you and your husband it looks like he is just cheating and you will hear a whole lot of people trying to say just that. Also know this: the truth will all come out at some point. If he was cheating and doesn’t love you then why wouldn’t he just say he wants to see someone else when he told you he wanted a divorce?
Sounds like a midlife crisis. Dont give up, you guys can work through this!
If he wants a divorce then he needs to get out.