I have been married for 36 years to a wonderful man and have two kids and four awesome grandchildren. My problem is my husband is diabetic, and he doesn’t take care of himself, and he has a cataract and can’t see very good, but he can sit on his phone for hours and look at his Facebook. What I want to know is he is always taking his anger out on me about not having health insurance, and I’m trying to find some we can afford, and also when I try and do stuff to help him out he tells me I make him feel less of a man cause I’m helping him like this weekend are grandson came over he is 11 and mowed the yard, and he help me take out a little tree in our yard, and he got so mad at me cause we did it and said I made him feel worthless man and so we helped him my husband clean and moved stuff in the back yard and again but this time he was calling me names like stupid and ingnorant stuff like that I love this man with all my heart, but I’m tired of him always making me feel bad. What should I do
Tell him he needs to respect you since you’re busting your ass for him and he’s being completely ungrateful. He wants to be lazy and unhelpful but also scolds you for getting things done. If he feels like he’s less of a man than that’s his own personal issue and should do something to change that. Also, he needs to start making better health choices. Tell him to get off his ass and do something without being asked and MAYBE he will feel like a man again.
He’s tearing you down to build himself up and that’s not okay.
My father didnt take care of himself either. Ended up with kidney failure and on dialysis for 15 years because he didnt keep his sugar in check. He also battled debilitating gout in his feet.
He feels that way, you dont make him feel that way. He is manipulating and gaslighting you. He needs to deal with his issues. They belong to him alone.
If you continue to put up with this it will only get worse.
Emotional black= mail…
In your first sentence you said he was a wonderful man… this is not how you described him. Just saying
Wish this would let me share a pic of what diabetes does to you. I bet it would change alot of ppl minds on how to take care of urself .
This is on him, not you. You said he is on FB all day. He is the one making himself feel less as a man. He does not sound like Mr Wonderful to me.
He sounds like a crybaby. The only person making him feel like less of a man is HIM. Put your foot down and stop letting him guilt you for his problem!!!
Time to love yourself more. Focus on you and let his disrespectful ass focus on him and his own problems. You still got milage left on you, do you. Fall in love with yourself and don’t worry about the rest.
Maybe counseling? Sounds like he’s having a hard time and taking out on his love ones.
My husband is also diabetic but he doesn’t take his medications. Ever since he was diagnosed he’s always in a foul mood. He’s quick to point out what I did wrong and he’s been swearing a lot even infront of our toddler. I’m trying to be more patient because I know high blood sugar does make you get irritated fast but boy do i want to just pack up and leave sometimes. Lol
Manipulation and gaslighting at its finest!
You are NOT responsible for the way he feels about himself!! Sounds like he’s depressed , it’s very common in older men when they can’t do certain tasks anymore. He needs to talk to a counselor and get to off Facebook…
Has he always been like this? You say wonderful man but if this has always been his behavior then I’m not sure your definition of wonderful is the same as most. If this is a new behavior that started over the last year or two, perhaps there is a reason for his actions as in, you may need to find the root of the problem to his behavior. If he has diabetes and isnt taking careful himself, I’m betting he feels like crap often which will lead to crap behavior.
Get sugar free or low sugar foods ketchup syrup ice cream keep only low sugar r sugar free drinks n foods in house n limit potatoes pasta cereals breads, my hubby went into diabetic coma 3 days n hospital 2 times ketosis !! DANGEROUS PLEASE WATCH HIS FOODS ;”(
get rid of his lazy blind unhealthy ass. u dont deserve to be treated like shit just because he is dying
Tell him to go get himself insurance then. Reach out to local clinics that will see him on a sliding scale. Has he really been counseled on the risk of not managing his diabetes? He is digging his grave by ignoring this. There are two completely different issues here. A grown man choosing not to manage his health. And a grown man abusing his wife. There is nothing wrong with you. Love shouldn’t hurt you. He is playing victim to his situation that he can help manage.
If he feels like less of a man its because he is! Don’t do a damn thing for him anymore! He is using you! He is being lazy just so he can treat you like crap! Stop putting up with his crap! He’s a Narcissistic misogynist! And hes abusing you for his failures!