My husband has to have surgery at the end of the month and now we are stressed about Christmas: Advice?

It sucks having no family what so ever. I never got the chance to meet most of my family growing up as my parents never had a good relationship with any of them on either side. My dad passed away two and a half years ago, and my mom basically just got up and left to be around my sister whos ten years older. I was married to my ex-husband for seven years and had two beautiful babies with him who are now three and 8. my ex-husband doesn’t pay a dime and refuses to pay a dime to support them. Even court-ordered, he still doesn’t pay. I have remarried, and he’s just amazing. He’s our main supporter. I work as a sub driver for our local school, and we just found out he has to have surgery at the end of the month and will be out of work for 3 to 4 weeks. So now, I sit here and stress and want to cry as I have no clue how Christmas is going to be possible for my babies or my two step kids. I have tried to contact my mom, and she doesn’t care, not one bit. prayers, please


Omg, you had 11 other months to prepare for holidays.


Its not about gifts. Its about who you’re with, cook a nice dinner and arrange something for your immediate family to do together, like movie watch or play family games. Hard times call for strength. Just pay ur bills and have food that’s all that matters for your family, everything is temporary remember that. Change that cycle that xmas is for gifts only and teach that gift is family. That man deserves for you to understand and not complain about gift giving, he is your family’s gift.


Do the 4 gift rule. Make it simple and fun. Do more experinces and see how it goes.


If you’re worried about gifts take out a personal loan for a SMALL amount of money. Gifts don’t need to be expensive. I never have money for Xmas cuz bills and rent. Got 5 kids here.

At that age they don’t need a big Christmas, none of us do really. The focus is on your hubby and his recovery and this is a perfect reason to step back from what others expect and remember what the season is all about. Thank God for his Son and praise God that your hubby will get though surgery ok. You got this.


Christmas isn’t about money and presents. Explain it to the kids and teach them some valuable lessons.

As hard as it is to not be able to buy your children what you want for Christmas… it is far more important that you guys are together. I would say you sit down and tell your kids the situation… “Daddy is hurt and has to have surgery so we won’t have much money for Christmas… but the important thing is that we have each other.” I have taught my son since he was small that Christmas is a time for family not presents.

Don’t sweat it. I’m broke as all getout. Make dinner, watch movies, make memories. The new thing is going giftless, unless it’s homemade. :purple_heart:


Check with charities around your area like toys for tots. Also apply for food stamps and WIC. Best of luck

Contact local churches and charities. Many help with food and some gifts for the kids. Now is the time they start sign ups. And don’t listen to the negative nellies, things happen that we do not plan for.


Is your husband entitled to FMLA? Does he have short term disability through his job? Also if so he would be entitled to up to 6 months depending on amount of time on job . I had a Total Hip Replacement and I was with a company for 7 years and I had through my employer insurance short term disability which is not that expensive and can be paid weekly out of one’s paycheck weekly or bi-weekly but it comes in handy when there is an illness or surgery. As for the holidays you should take care your family health FIRST! Celebrate next year .

Make sure his THOSE TEMP.disability papers from his employer are done by day of surgery. ,…? Is it workers comp.? 💁💁


Remember what Christmas is about. It doesn’t matter how much stuff you get them, what matters is the love and the family time. That is what kids remember as they grow up, not stuff, but love and family time. I am sure tho there’s prob local charities and churches that could help you with some things.

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It’ll be hard no doubt about it. But it can be done. Explain to the children that Christmas will be a little bit smaller this year because “Daddy” has been unwell and had to have an operation. Have your children write down 10 items that they would like for Christmas and explain to them that Santa will only pick FIVE from their lists (make it exciting “oh, I wonder which you will get!”)
Look at the lists, pick the cheapest items and get bargain hunting. Ebay is great, second hand stores often have “nearly new”. Children of that age won’t know the difference, and even if they did - does it matter?. As for food, every time you go grocery shopping between now and Christmas pick up 1 item extra and lock it in a cupboard for the big day. You will be surprised how fast your stockpile grows.
If you dont have an artificial tree to set up, wait until 23/24 December when they start to do trees (real and fake) at half price. Budget, bargain hunt and plan. Also remember this REALLY is about family time and the love of Christ. Do your best in the material celebration department but dont stress about it. Enjoy your happy healthy family!


Join the croud. No x mas for me this year either. Happens every year. Work all summer to cover so every one else can go have fun winter comes income gone. Talk about stress. Try life with no husnand and no family no help of any kind. Any thing i dont bring in is not here. Life is one big struggle every day. I havent been able to enjoy my life in 19 years. Be glad u have a husband if he is so great. Some of us dont even have that

Christmas is what you decide a great breakfast helping kids that are sick taking pictures
You are alive and together that is the most important
Celebrating every day


There are so many other options than buying gifts. You could do soooooo many family activities ie making cookies, ornaments, even diy gifts, use your imagination and bonus teach the kids, holidays aren’t about money and who has the most of it.

I would have your ex’s wages guaransheed for non payment. Christmas is what you make it. Just keep it simple this year. Maybe baking with the kids.There are many places that will help out. Start early. Just one or two small gifts are all it takes. Perhaps your husbands work has sick pay he can collect while off ??? The older children a few dollars or a gift card.


Did you know that hokey Norman Rockwell pic of a holiday dinner was staged by strangers? This stupid commercials when the wife or husband give each other cars - stupid. Start planning on holiday baking and crafts. Count your blessings. Sounds like your current partner is a winner! I wasted 23 years married to a narc and would have given anything to be with a decent person. Start looking for organizations that will help with food and gifts. Don’t be ashamed - use them and payback to someone else when you can. God Bless you on your journey /life is full of bumps but you do survive.

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