My husband is always tired and I am stressed: Advice?

Hello, I need some opinions here… I am a mother of three, 13, 3, and a one-year-old. I have been together with my husband for six years. We have the youngest children together; the oldest is of my own. I am starting to get very stressed, frustrated and fed up, no matter how long hubby sleeps, he is always tired, he works (regular daytime hours) and I am a stay at home mum, which we both agreed to since before we had the 1st baby together, so we don’t have to worry about childcare costs. Our youngest still doesn’t sleep all night, and he is still on the breast, he has no interest in bottles, so he wants breast often during the night. I haven’t had a whole night sleep in over a year, so I feel quite tired myself, with all the broken sleep. I try to be understanding, but it’s really starting to bother me that hubby can’t sit down for a few minutes without constantly falling asleep, doesn’t matter if we are doing something together, at his parents for a visit or a meal, he’s constantly falling asleep, at home, he could be trying to feed one of our children and once more, always falling asleep, so frustrated that I have to keep calling him to wake up, which sometimes leads to arguments and… all of this built up over the past year or so, is making me feel like I can’t do this anymore, that I have to go my own way, I know he works, but I take care of the kids the whole day and the little one most of the night, I don’t feel like he helps enough, he’s instantly asleep by the time we get to bed, the baby can be screaming his lungs out during the night, he just sleeps through it all, it’s like he isn’t even there. Also, I have no family of my own to help here; i moved aboard to be with him, all the family we have he is own. Suggestions?

18 Likes

It honestly sounds like he may have something medically going on. He should speak to a doctor asap to have testing done.

8 Likes

See if he will do to the doctor… Get some blood test done. Low iron can make you tired…and I am sure other things can too… Maybe start by taking a multi vitiamn

He may have narcolepsy?

instead of being upset with him, get him to go to a doctor! Falling asleep like you state shows something is wrong.

2 Likes

Does he have a undiagnosed thyroid issue that can make u sleep and tired alot

Is he depressed? He needs to see his Dr.

Sounds like he has a medical condition called Narcolepsy… it means you fall asleep no matter what you’re doing or how much sleep you have, you’re still sleepy.

1 Like

Have him get tested for narcolepsy

Sounds like he may have a medical condition and needs to see a MD to figure out what’s going on.

Or possibly sleep apnea…

2 Likes

I think he may need some help.

1 Like

I would have him see a doctor It could be low testosterone or his Thyroid could be out of balance or sleep disorder.

Sounds like ur husband needs to visit the doctor. But I hear u, it’s hard to not be mad when they sleep alot…my husband has always slept alot. I’ve always been the one to do most of the child work, plus work myself…

My partner is exactly the same and he has a condition called sleep apnoea. It’s where breathing pauses during sleep and not enough oxygen gets to the brain to make him feel rested when it’s time to get up. When he wears his mask (which is a trial in its self as according to him it’s not comfortable) hes so much better and rarely falls asleep.
If he does have this it may be frustrating but try and be patient as I’m realising it’s not easy for them either. Good luck x

Make him a doctor appointment. Tell the receptionist to put in appointment note for doctor that he’s falling asleep during daily activities and excessively tired. And, any other symptoms you’ve noticed. Men don’t typically articulate these things well in the office. Could be one of a few things resulting in this issue.
Take a step back and give him some slack until he gets feedback from his physician.

I think you have some misplaced anger! Get your husband to a doctor ASAP!! There is clearly something wrong!!

4 Likes

Sounds like he needs to see a doctor.

Fatigue can be a symptom of some pretty serious illnesses. It’s not normal to be that tired for no reason. He needs to see a doctor and have some blood work done.

1 Like

Definitely get him to go to the doctor and explain his excessive sleepiness. Get him a sleep study, etc. and if it turns out he’s just being a lump on a log and there is nothing medically wrong, I’d leave. That sounds so annoying. Imagine if you were the one always falling asleep, never hearing the baby cry, etc and everything was all on him. He would NOT be kosher with it. Tell him he needs to go to the doctor or you’re out.