So, when my son was about three months old, my husband and I filled out paperwork so he could be on his birth certificate (there was no father listed). Well apparently that paperwork never went through, and we were JUST told that we have to go to court so he could adopt him since he isn’t biologically his. Well, we were talking to a caseworker, and they said that they would have to serve his bio dad papers stating that they have to do a DNA test to prove he’s the bio dad (obviously) and then he signs paperwork stating that he wants to terminate his parental rights. Which he was COMPLETELY willing to do when my son was a baby. Well, I’ve been thinking more and more about it, and I’ve pushed myself into this state of panic because what if he gets served these papers and gets pissed off enough to fight me for like partial custody or want to see my son or something. I don’t want anything from him at all, no money, no support or anything, my husband has been his dad from the very beginning (one-month-old). All I want is his signature so I can get out of his life and I know I’ve already disrupted him enough, I don’t want to piss him off or anything.
I made the decision to let it go. I will eventually write a will stating if anything happens to be for him to go to my husband we did our own little thing I let my son decide if he wants my husband to be his dad. I have to attempt to locate him I don’t wanna risk him deciding he wants to be a parent but legally my son won’t be adopted by my husband
Just tell them u were a slut and dont know
I don’t think he would want to fight it because if he refuses to sign then you can file child support on him and he will have to pay back child support and the state will garnish his wages not too many men want that .
I say you have two routes to take. 1. Talk to the buo dad in person dont just serve him papers. He less likely to get angry that way. 2. Just let it go. And keep living the way you are. It’s just a peice of paper he is already the father role.
Depending the state if you haven’t had contact in so many months you can get them for abandonment.
Just tell them you don’t know who the boo dad is.
Sounds like the courts messed up from the get go. Unfortunately, that’s all you can do. Just contact him before hand and give him some warning that this is what you’d like to do. State again what you’ve said here. I know in the state of Georgia, after 13 months of no contact and no support paid, they notify the other party who has 30-60 days to respond, then they take away parental rights and Grant adoption. I think contacting him first will go a long way rather than surprising him with paperwork.
In New York if you don’t have the fathers name listed, you haven’t had contact with him in over a year and you get married your husband can adopt him.
I would just let it be, not worth the risk.
Maybe try to talk to bio dad first before he’s served so he knows it’s coming… I’m sure it will go fine if he wants to be part of his life he’ll have pay and all that stuff and even if he wants to fight you ha may not want the long term commitment… So just talk to him first maybe.
Tell them you don’t know who the bio dad is!!!
He may do what mine did and just refuse to deal with it — I only asked politely we do one and have him sign rights away before we moved across the country — he got ugly and told me he wasn’t her bio dad and I was a nut case for even thinking that.
(He lies and said he had a vasectomy yet told me the truth that he didn’t when I was going through other paternity tests)
Still no name on her birth certificate, just gonna wait it out a few more years and use the “I was young and don’t know” (which. Is legit. I’ve had 5 paternity tests come back negative)
With no dad listed, if you don’t provide a name then couldn’t that solve the issue?
I meant to say sign the papers
You should be happy if he steps up and wants to be there for your guys’ son together. More people to love him.
The people saying it’s “just a piece of paper” have no idea. If you died, your son could/should go to his biological father. If anything were to happen, your husband wouldn’t have many legal rights.
Talk to a lawyer, that’s really where you’ll get the best information.
Is the ex on the birth certificate? If not he has no rights to anything
You should talk to an attorney or paralegal in your state. In FL if no father is listed I’m pretty sure your husband should be able to adopt without having to have your ex prove paternity and then sign away rights.
I believe you can go to the county registrar and just have the birth certificate updated. Look into that avenue to do it instead of going through a caseworker.