Married, we have three young boys. Although he is not a bad person, he is a terrible friend to me. What can I do? I have no solid reason to leave him and destroy what we’ve built, but I’m also not a happy wife. I want to do the responsible and mature thing. Advice?
Communication is the key! Let him know how your feeling… give him a opportunity to fix it
Then if he doesn’t reassess
You don’t have to stay just because it’s not bad. You deserve to be happy and if you have tried and your not then you have every right to consider leaving.
If you’re not happy then it is bad
I’m a wee bit lost.
You have built a solid foundation and relationship with this man, and yet you mention the overall idea of leaving him simply because he isn’t your ‘friend’?
Sit down and talk with him. Voice yourself. He may not see what you see and think to be a friend toward you, as well as a husband. He can’t read your mind.
So long as he hasn’t cheated or abused you, things can be fixed. This is a smaller issue that can be worked on.
I say it’s worth fixing. Other than cases of any kind of abuse I think relationships are worth fixing
You have children together he doesn’t abuse you then you absolutely need to figure something out with him this is tiny issue that I’m sure can be fixed men cannot read minds
Counseling. This is fixable for sure.
Hes your husband why does he have to he your “friend” bit odd… a friend is someone you leave & a husband is someone you go home to, would you class all your male friends as husbands? No…
If you wanted a friend you should have stayed single.
I think what she’s saying is that she doesn’t want to leave she just isn’t feeling like he is treating her like he does his guy friends. Like the hanging out, joking around, laughing, stuff like that. Counseling would be a good start. My fiancé and I are in it together and it’s been helping because we have the same issue! It’s almost like a routine going through the motions instead of a day by day
I say marry your best friend. Just because it’s your husband- that doesn’t mean it’s just that box he should be in. You should be with someone who is a friend as well. Some of these comments have me concerned for these people.
Marriage keeps you together til you fall in love again.
Work on yourself, be joyful (not the same as happy), communicate, invite him to work on himself too.
Y’all are savages on here, though I agree I would talk it out first. Come to an agreement and work on things. Maybe y’all need a date night. Don’t give up yet, fight for the good fight. Could be just a season y’all are going through much love
Keep in mind that your husband cannot read your mind he doesn’t automatically know what you need from him, let him know you need him to be in a good mindset to have a conversation with you at some point in the day (with having kids I’ve found this is huge!) he isn’t ever going to meet the needs like a girlfriend would we need to have those too! But make sure your communicating clearly with him!
Has he always been like this or has something changed?
Worth working on!! Don’t give up!
That’s incredibly unfortunate, staying in an unhappy marriage is not healthy for your children. They need a happy mom to raise them. You have to communicate if you want to try and save your marriage but do not feel like you have to stay for the sake of losing what you built, life is too short for that shit.
You have to say, to him.
You can’t have a solid foundation without friendship. That is a roommate. Do you need more date nights? Councelling? A real deep honest talk about your feelings? If he’s a good guy, try to work it out.