My husband leaves a lot for work, I feel lonely and depressed: Advice?

My husband is gone again for another 8 months, we have an almost 3 and 4mo, has been 3 weeks since he left , and I’m already giving up with this ( If you are wondering yes I have a great group of friends, but also they have families, and sometimes I just don’t want to bother them with my problems). Here is the thing I stay at home with my kids, but is getting worse between fits, crying, not wanting to eat, fits again, no sleeping, not even saying trips to the store, a few nights ago my older one was throwing a badly fit and with no intention hurt my nose, I was bleeding by inside of my nose and from a little cut of the outside, that was the final call, I sat, cried and cried, that cry that you cant simply stop, while my little one just wants to be held, bot wanting to be alone hard for me get stuff around the house. So I’m wondering how you girls go through this and survive, I love my husband I really do, but this situation of him being gone and me staying with the kids for long periods of time is driving me crazy, I’m depressed, I feel horrible, I feel like a big failure as a mom and wife. We don’t have family around, and his family has been really selfish with him since he married and have kids (money issues for them now) Some I’m literally alone just with my friends

33 Likes

Talk to him to get another job that is closer to home where you can see him more often. Maybe get yourself a part time job to help keep yourself sane?

2 Likes

Ask your friends to bring their kiddos over and have a playdate. Do something for yourself let the house work and everything go for an hour or two and sip something adult to drink. Even if it’s an hour here and there sometimes you gotta let go and give yourself time to rest.

Try getting out of the house; join mom and me groups or find a sitter for once a week and spend time with you

You tough it out. Sorry to put it so simply, but part of your responsibility it to handle the kids as thier mom. Yea it can be frustrating. Remove yourself for a few minutes. I lost my husband unexpectedly may 23, we have a 3yr old and a 10 yr old. My job is to make sure they are ok

6 Likes

Can you spare the cash to get a mommy helper/nanny? They can help with the housework and kids, plus give you some company!

2 Likes

Can you plan a trip to go visit him? Maybe get a sitter or daycare for the littles so you could have a night or two a month to yourself or just to do whatever you like to do?

No matter what you think your a good mother and just keep going remember they need you

A part time job or dropping them off to just go get your toes done or dinner with a girlfriend would get you out and will be something to look forward to

Think of all the soldiers families left behind. They suck it up. Take ur kids to visit their families, visit ur family and friends

3 Likes

Get a job put kids in daycare

2 Likes

He needs a new job or you need a new man that wants to be there with you.

I think you need some time away from the kids!! See if you can budget in a day or two for them to be at a sitter… you can get your house duties done… go for a walk… take a class… get grounded. It’s ok to say you need a break and the kids won’t have a overwhelmed momma.

4 Likes

When I’m really lonely I find that I’m not talking as much, and I’m just on autopilot. Try to get out of your head by talking through your routines and how you feel about them, singing songs, even listening to talk shows, which is also great for language development for kiddos anyways. Then you can try to dive into a book or draw something, anything to put your focus into. Which is a lot easier said then done, but try to feel like you! Do your hobbies!

1 Like

Can you hire a nanny or a babysitter once or twice a week so you can get out? Mommy needs time away!

1 Like

You are not a failure. It is so so hard to deal with children that age especially 3 and 4 year olds. All day long, day after day never getting a break would drive anyone up a wall. Some days you wonder if their actions are a result of the situation you’re in right now. No they are just little kids who don’t know how to fully express their emotions. Let the house go sometimes, although I find it’s stressful for me when there is too much clutter. But if your husband can start looking for a job closer to home, then maybe do that. My husband is gone right now for 7 months. He left 3 weeks after we had our second son and we have a 3 year old as well. I only have my mother in law. So I feel we are in a similar situation and I wish I could say it’ll be easier if you do this or that. But no, some days truly suck. Take care of yourself and try to have a good sleep schedule for them. I find going for drives, getting something to eat from a drive thru once in a while and taking walks are very helpful. I also like to do my make up and practice self care when I can, and I like to sing. And yes sometimes I cry. I wish you luck on your journey :heart:

1 Like

If you are military dependent, you have help as close as the phone. Otherwise, make an appointment with your doctor and let him/her help you.

2 Likes

can you hire a mother’s helper?

First off you gotta sit him down and tell him how you feel. Hang in there until he comes back then have a long talk with him. Good luck

1 Like

I don’t have any advice but I’m sorry your having to go through this😔 I hope your future has a brighter side and that you get the help you need❤

1 Like