My husband lies to everyone about having college degrees: Advice?

My husband now retired has always said that he has a masters degree from OSU along with a bachelor’s degree. I have never seen these diplomas. When his parents were deceased, I asked his sister to find the documents among the files at the house, and she looked at me funny—red flag. I contacted the schools in question, and he actually flunked out after one semester, which explains why he was drafted. I reached out to his ex-wife, and she confirmed it. She also said he would get very angry when she asked him why he lies about it. He continues even now tells our friends entire false stories about his grad school professors. I actually have advanced degrees, which I earned. I confronted him, and he was angry and said I was lying and the schools were lying. Why can’t he admit to this after all these years?


Why does it matter he’s retired it’s not like he’s putting it on his resume anymore. first world problems :roll_eyes:


He’s probably embarassed that he never got to finished and the lie is too big now.
Tell him that if he wishes to go back to school you’ll be there to support him.


Pick your battles- he’s not harming anything but his own character. He likely even believes his lies.


He’s probably embarrassed.
Why hound him? It’s silly and small, just ignore it.


Because, he feels like a failure. And, because of your degrees. He knows the truth and that you know the truth. Let it go.


If he can commit that hard to a lie about a diploma…what else is that man lying to you about :face_with_monocle:


What Polly said… I would seriously just drop it… You know the real truth already and he is unwilling to admit to you or anyone else. What is it going to gain at this point other than a verbal fight from him… Not worth it unless you seek a professional mediator with him…


If he’s retired now, what does it matter?


Who cares he is retired now🤷


Why does it matter? He is retired. Is this fight really worth potentially putting a strain on your relationship?


The real question is why do feel the need to investigate so hard? Why are you reaching out to his ex wife at all? He’s retired and likely made a great life for you or you’d been gone since this lie affects you so badly…


You asked his sister, contacted his x wife and his school?!?! It must really eat you up. He is retired now and probs doesn’t want to feel embarrassed. He would have to back track on years of a small lie due to not wanting to feel like a failure build and build. He obvs doesn’t want his friends to know. Xx


Why does it matter it’s clearly a sore subject for him. I don’t do lies of any kind period BUT you have been doing them for Some time it sounds like so just leave it alone. Ask youself this will this end your marriage if not then let that man alone he knows you know he’s full of it


My ex pretty much lied about a lot of stuff to me. It was as if he was conditioned to be a lier. I never did understand it. The only thing I could think was to make himself look better than everyone else! That was our demise in our marriage.


I’m sure he’s embarrassed. Let it go! Not worth fighting over.


“I contacted the schools in question, and he actually flunked out after one semester, which explains why he was drafted”.

Is the guy under investigation by his own wife on such a trivial matter? I feel for him.


Does it make you feel better to make him feel bad? I mean that’s a lot of investigating for something that really doesn’t matter. The man is retired for goodness sake. Let him have his fantasy.


It makes him feel good about his self .leave it alone.why does it matter


It would bother me too. In a marriage you’re supposed to be honest and open with each other. I could see him feeling ashamed of lack of accomplishment, and maybe he uses this to boost his confidence because it makes him feel better. I am more concerned he won’t open up to you, the wife. I believe in living your truest self, because there is nothing more freeing than self-acceptance. Maybe encourage him to accomplish new things and he might be able to let go of this very obvious falsity.