My husband not being around is taking a toll on our marriage: Advice?

Please, no bashing. I need advice on what to do. My husband and I have been together five years; we have a soon-to-be three-year-old and a four-month-old. My MIL recently had a heart attack three months ago, and I have been taking care of her for the past two months since she got her triple bypass. My husband works a lot and is gone from 530am-830pm almost every day; when it comes to weekends, he’s always out at his farm or drinking beer with his friends, mind you he had me not return to work after my maternity leave, so someone could take care of his mom. His being gone all the time and not spending any time with his kids and me taking care of his mom is taking a toll on our marriage. I’m so lost on what to do.


Tell him man the fuck up and help take care of HIS MOM and HIS CHILD. Or divorce. Simple as that! Ur relationship is in big trouble if it’s like this after only 5yrs.

After 3 months the mom should b very capable of looking after herself ? Obviously that depends on age. My mom at 73 was great after one week after her triple bypass , and completely great after a month . How far does ur husband work cause 5.30 till 8.30 I’d a ridiculously long day , then he doesn’t spend time with u on any weekends either ? Sorry but for me , he’d have to go
Obviously there is more to this hence the questions , but u know what u have to do for u amd ur situation and only u x

You sound like a free caregiver… I would leave. Been there, done that. Sadly it took me 7 years. But I’m free as a bird now.

I think the most helpful tip. Is talk to him about it! And see if he can understand you!

I pray for you maybe see if you can get a agency to help care for the mother some of the time


I think if you’re taking care of his mom he can stop going out with the boys. I’m sure he needs a break but you do double. Have a talk.

Similar situation here. I will tell u if u love that man bare with him. If he is a good man stick it out. If he is a good father keep being a good wife. One day time will slow down for him and he’ll see what u have done to build the life you guys share and things will be in your favor. Men deal with things in a completely different way than women do and you’ll reap the benefits of your strong family u helped hold together even when u thought u would break… God is good.

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Hang tight your doing everything in your Power to be of assistance to your MIL! Men have such a funny way of expressing there gratitude, i would kindly bring it up to him not argumentatively but as a way to break the ice!!
You deserve alittle Mothers Day Appreciation!
Goodluck an Keep pressing forward this too shall pass


Just voice it to him babe and maybe go back to work if possible. You need your time away too and to feel like a human. Look into having someone come in to take care of her on the days you can’t. Pretty inconsiderate on his part but I don’t know you guys soooo…

Communication is always key. You have my thoughts as I know how absence hurts and staying strong drains your mental health x

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I would try to talk to him and tell him how you feel.

Sounds to me you may want to rethink being married
I’m sorry if wanted to spend time with you and his children he would period

He has 2 kids with you. the love is there. he knows you are on a strain taking care of the mom. get a sitter. go out with him.

one night. talk to him. it will help understand

Talk to him first. Dont forget, you are doing Gods work taking care of children and elderly or sick full time.
I’ll pray for you.


Make it a point to have a date night! Even if it’s one day a month. Hire someone to watch the kids so you both can have one on one time. Reignite that spark!

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He don’t have siblings to take care of his mom? I surely hope not while they putting the extra work on you. Having a 4 month and 2 year old is stressful enough.


So sorry to hear this. Imo, your husband likely doesn’t realize what he’s put on you. I would try discussing it with him and explaining how you are feeling. From a non confrontational angle.


The only one you should talk to about this is the one in the marriage with you.

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