Yesterday I told my husband I really needed a date night and we were GOING to HAVE to have someone watch the kids overnight. (I just had a baby a month 1/2 ago, and I have a 2,9) Today he suggests that after his meeting at work, I am to go with him on a mandatory date. Which was a surprise that I was super happy about, but then I realized and asked: “what about the kids?”. He said, “They’re coming too. We have to learn to take them with us anyway. Don’t we?” This is where I got upset. I understand we have to learn to bring the kids everywhere. But I specifically said, “we will need a babysitter for all night.” This is for my own sanity. Mom shames me if you must, but I know I’m a damn good mom. I just need a night to drink, cry, and be alone for once. I’m under so much family stress, and I need some self-healing. I’m not upset at this sweet, sweet attempt to take me on a date, but how do I tell him I’m at my wit’s end and in desperate need to drink without the kids …without hurting his feelings for genuinely trying?
Organise a baby sitter as a ‘ surprise’ then tell him. You want him all to yourself.
YOU get the sitter and tell hubby that the night is for the two of you only. You have to still date one another and have that time away. Just because you have children, doesn’t mean you stop existing as husband and wife. Good luck!
I would be upset too. My husband has done this before, or set up a date that only he liked. I hope no mom ever shames you for needing some time to yourself. It’s something every single person needs from time to time and especially moms. I would just be calm when you tell him. “Thank you for the fun night, but can I be honest with you?” Men are so slow at things compared to women. Just be tell him girl! I hope you get the time you need momma!
Take charge and get the sitter
Why not do a girls night or a mom night? 100% Jacqui that’s a great idea too!!!
Stroke his ego and tell him you want just the two of you no distractions. Make it seem like it’s all about him when in actuality it’s about you. There’s nothing wrong with needing a breather from all your roles and responsibilities.
That is not date night. That’s a family dinner
Everyone needs a break once in a while, it isnt anything to be shamed over. He basically planned a family outing not a date night. Plan a night yourself that’s kid free and sit him down to explain to him why its important that you get nights either to yourself or one on one with him.
Just a thought but maybe he isn’t comfortable leaving the six week old alone yet?
I felt this way last week. I needed a night from EVERYONE. So my sister in law and I got a room out on the beach and we bailed on our families for 24 hrs.
It was amazing. I came home and scrubbed vomit off the wall cause someone was sick but i wasnt even upset about cleaning. You gotta do what you gotta do. Even if its just a night. Im definitely doing it again.
I still feel so much better.
I feel you momma I do a mom night once a year where I get a hotel and daddy stays home and watches the kids be honest with him tell him you need a night away without the children
start crying and say you just needed a good break. maybe he is going to surprise you… maybe he already has a sitter lined up???
Get on birth control quick!! You need alone time but keep having kids!! Get some friends together, have a girls night out and leave hubby at home with the kids!!
I would have left him and the kids home and taken myself out on a date
I so agree with you!!! You and your hubby need alone time!
Let him go away . . then you have the house all to yourself!!
I feel you should be grateful. It may not be the best situation but you make it what you want.
Plan a date night Yourself and husband. Get a babysitter and you won’t be disappointed.
Find a babysitter yourself
Just be honest and tell him!!