What would you lady’s do if your SO keeps threating you that he’s not going to drive you to work? We both agreed on I getting this job and him bringing me to and from work, I just started not even a month ago, it’s part-time I work 5 hours in the mornings before he goes to work because that is all I can do with working around his 2nd shift schedule and with us moving am hour away over a year ago & us not being around anyone we know to watch our daughter And I am due with our 2nd daughter in February. After work, I come home and do my house duties and take care of our child. I’ve been a Stay at home mom for over two year’s; I haven’t had a job or my license or my own car in the last two years either. I’ve asked him multiple times if he could help me financially to get my license again, and he has agreed to help me but never does. Now that I have a job, I hope to get my license & own car again, but I only have four months until our baby is born. We live in a super tiny town with nothing here but two gas stations. So I can’t go anywhere but to work & back. Before I got my job, I went nowhere. He takes the car to work & I don’t have my license. I feel stuck here. I get sad, I get depressed, some days it’s horrible seeing the same white bare walls. What keeps me from entirely falling apart is My daughter; she brightens up my darker days. We live 20 minutes away from the big city in driving time from where we are both our jobs, so walking there is not an option. I am very proud to have my own job again, even if it is part-time, and he knows this. I just feel like he doesn’t want to help me or is threating me that he ain’t gonna bring me to work because he doesn’t want to see me succeed in anything in life. I’ve always been very independent women & I’ve debating leaving him because he’s never been supportive of anything I’ve done or tried to do, even though he said he is. He’s not. (there is a lot more to our relationship than I’m telling) but this is my current situation.
Get your own car and drive yourself. This guy sounds like my girls Dad. I was a sahm with him too. Until bills got backed up. Then I was a lazy POS that needed to get a job and help my family. Then when I make friends, bills caught up and start enjoying a little freedom I became a selfish bitch that needed to be at home with her family. Did that for 10 years and then his next lady did same thing for 13.
Ditch him. He’s purposely doing this so he can control you and hold you essentially captive.
I know its easier said than done, but LEAVE.
Search “work at home jobs that provide equipment” it weeds out the scams. There are customer service and data entry. You can do that in those hours before your chores.
Time to move on with your daughter
Get ur license and see how he reacts. If he is home with little then u should be able to drive ur self. If not, leave
You need to work yourself into a position to move on with your children. Life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t support you. Best wishes.
No one walks on you unless you allow them
You need to go to a crisis shelter they will help you to eventually get u into housing n house you till they do.If u can hold on till u can at least get your license that should only cost u insurance n restoration check with your local dept .Of motor vehicle or a notary questions are free also if you leave set up before a free lawyer through a legal aid to get full custody so he can’t take ur babies n God forsake if u are mentally or physically abused go no is. To crisis he wants u to live by his rules n don’t trust u so he holds u hostage. SOME PLACEZ MAY BE able to get u home where u lived before with family for a small bus fee n then u can work on license
You need to leave honey.
Any man who makes it hard when you’re trying to better yourself, isn’t worth it.
Plus it’s easier to leave while the baby is still inside you
It’s a red flag to me. Seems like he enjoys keeping you secluded and fully dependent on him. This will most likely only get worse as time goes on and he will eventually make you feel like you are neglecting the kids him your family by having your own. I know you said you live in a small town but living 20 min from a city you may have the option for uber or Lyft or cabs so you dont have to rely on him. You could also try a work from home option so you can still earn your own money and not need a ride. I recommend you stack up your money and leave. Not only for yourself but for your daughters sake. Kids see us in these type of relationships and think that this is normal and what they should aspire to in their own relationships. There’s places that can help you leave as well and will help you get on your feet. You DESERVE more!!!
Also, what “chores” does he do… he is also home during the day
Sounds like a narcissist to me. Look into Uber or finding other ways to get back n forth to work. Seems to me like he likes having that control over you.
Get a license. Become independent. You can do it!
Leave and rebuild your life without his bullshit
It’s scary but trust me you’ll be grateful if you leave. You gotta think about not only yourself but your little girl and the baby on the way as well. Ask yourself is this the kind if relationship you want to see your children in one day or have them believing that’s what love is? If you answer no then change your situation call family or friends explain what’s happening and see if someone is willing to help. Dont give up hun yiu can do it. I was a single mother to 3 was raising then 4 year old son and infant daughter while pregnant with my other daughter and I did it by myself ( my sister let me live with her during this time ) but you dont need him. Do what you know in your heart and gut is rite hun
Um this is financial abuse. He’s purposely keeping you down and using money. He’s abusing you.
He’s clearly not supportive. The way you’re living shows he’s trying to isolate you. These are Red Flags. Idk how long you have been married & i will never tell anyone to leave a marriage. But what i will say
SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF!
He’s trying to control everything you do. There’s no way you should be a stay at home mom isolated with no car.
Call a cab to get to work save yo ur $ get a car b4 that baby is born & get a plan as to how you will change your circumstances.
Don’t let ANYONE have that much control over you.
Clear case of emotional abuse and control. Move on before you’re even further stuck.