My husband said he doesn't trust me because I asked for a break: Advice?

I apologize in advance for the really long post. I’m lost. My husband accused me of abusing my kids yesterday when he wasn’t even home. My MIL was visiting, and I can confirm that nothing even happened. I told my husband that I needed a break for the first time in 2 years because I was being stretched thin and felt like I could be a better, more present mama. He told me no because he was going to be home. The problem is, when he’s home, he’s not present and doesn’t do anything for the kids or me. He doesn’t lift a finger around the house whatsoever; he’s on his phone constantly, plays video games until the crack of dawn, and sleeps till mid-afternoon. I feel like after being accused of abuse; I’ve had enough. He says he can’t trust me to take care of my two boys while he’s out of town - all because I told him I needed a break. He says he will quit his job to “help,” but if he can’t help take care of his two kids now, what will quitting his job done. His family and mine are on my side in regards to raising our kids, but he doesn’t see the hard work I put into making our family be what it is. I guess all I’m looking for is support and encouragement if you’ve been in my position before.

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That’s not okay. I am sorry he did that to you. Everyone deserves a break and do not feel bad for that. Sit him down and tell him to listen to you and what you have to say. Time to have a seriously conversation.

He sounds like a jerk. Let him quit his job and stay home and get a job yourself. Then you can use that as an excuse to not help and play video games all day. You get a break and he can see what its like to take care of a home and family 24/7.

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I’m sorry about the whole situation but I would almost encourage you to report or record to who I don’t know maybe someone else would know but report that your husband is making false accusations that you are abusing the children that could escalate into a very serious matter.

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He trusts you to take care of his kids but he doesn’t acknowledge you are worn out and need a break. He needs a wake up.

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I was in your position before. I was less stressed when he was out of my house. He didnt work and we were never married. He didnt help with the kids and went out all the time. We seperated 9 years ago and hes still an uninvolved parent. Sees the kids on average once a year and has only been consistently paying some child support the last year.

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Falsely being accused of abuse needs to be reported

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First- being a mom and wife can be such a thankless job, but also really a beautiful thing. So I’m a bit sassy and hella stubborn and I would give him a taste of his own medicine. Stop doing his laundry, stop cooking him food. There is not a DARN thing wrong with needing a break!!! He sounds petty and childish so be prepared for backlash if you stop doing things for him. Praying for you

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I would’ve left his lying ass after he accused you of abuse towards your children if it’s not true. If he’s willing to do that n it’s not true he’ll accuse you of more things that are worse than that.

Scale down on what you do, leave some things undone, try a different approach !

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You need a girls trip! I try doing it once a year! We have a bucket list and go to a concert of someone we want to see and go for the weekend! Pink in Alabama, Fleetwood Mac in Nashville, Elton John in Nashville and Lady Gaga in Las Vegas! 3 days tops! Went with my girlfriend and the others with my girlfriend and my cousin and her girlfriend! Left kids husbands and dogs and had a very relaxing time worrying only about me! Or stay local go to nice hotel for the weekend and that has room service! We all need a down time moment! Let your husband see what you don’t do! Lol

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His family is on your side? Yet your mil told him something to alarm him ???

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Here is what you do. Wake up before him and the kids. And go! Take the day for yourself, let him wake up with the kids, let him deal the with day! Seriously!! I had to do this to show my husband it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. You need a damn break every now and then!

Get yourself ready when he is home and sleeping until noon and when he wakes up let him know you’ve got things to do outside the house and the kids are staying with him. Let him see what it really takes to be a parent since he obviously has no clue. Also, tread lightly around your MIL- doesn’t sound like she’s much on your side if she’s telling him things that lead him to feeling like his kids are being abused. I personally wouldn’t have her visit unless your husband is around, but that’s just me :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Wait for his day off and leave the kids with him for a day. Then simple return and ask how things went :blush:. Simply stop doing things to make his life easier.

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Well he’s a manipulative asshole, for starters. Saying he will quit his job and all that shit is manipulative. See it for what it is. There is no reason why you can’t take a break a weekend every once in a while. If it helps you, it’ll help your relationships. Self care matters.

You’re crying out for help and he isn’t listening. I’m sorry mama! Can your mother in law help some? Maybe friends or other family? When you get right mentally you should consider divorce!

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Screw a break. File for divorce.

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Plan a hotel stay for a night and don’t let him know till you’re on your way out. Text him after you leave and tell him that you’ve already told him you needed a break and he didn’t listen so you’re taking a well need break. And to not contact you unless it’s an emergency. :woman_shrugging: obviously he thinks he can take care of your kids fine so he shouldn’t have a problem.

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I’d leave his ass. How pathetic and disgusting. He sounds like a horrible and selfish person. You’re basically a single parent as is.