My husband screams at our son when he acts out: Advice?

I don’t have any friends to ask for advice from, and I’m not close enough to my family. I don’t know what to do about my husband and his relationship with our wee boy. Maybe it’s normal, but I come from an abusive background, so I don’t really know. Our son is three and in the throws of being a teenager, and coping with the recent arrival of our daughter. His behavior can be trying, but my husband’s response seems ott, he screams in our wee boy’s face and storms off in a huff, then he wonders why our son acts like he doesn’t like him. I have enough to deal with without my husband having temper tantrums too. He keeps threatening my son with leaving. Other times, he’s great with him. Any attempt to talk does not go down well.

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That is called verbal abuse. Your husband needs a chill pill.

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Leave his abusive butt and end the cycle!

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You have to find the medium, the three need to sit down and have a convo. Parents get upset and make mistakes but also kids can be mouthy too. I think if it’s this bad you need to stop what your doing have partner take over and you deal with your son. Also partner shouldn’t be threatening child to leave, I’d pack our shit and go but that’s me 🤷

If he can’t figure out how to parent without yelling and is threatening your son saying “if you don’t behave i will leave” then you might consider preparing to leave and raise your son alone… it’s one thing to yell because you don’t know any better, but if you have tried to talk with him and teach him how to discipline without yelling to no avail, I would be slightly worried

Um tell him to stop or fucking leave him. What kind of grown ass man screams in a 3 year olds face. Unacceptable.

As someone already said, he is verbally abusing your son. Often verbal abuse turns into physical abuse. You need to nip this right away.

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Your husband is acting like a spoiled brat. Your son is 3 and his life has changed significantly since the new baby came. When the baby cries she gets immediate attention. He is trying the same thing. Your husband is not 3 and needs to grow up and improve his parenting skills or get the hell out.

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I’m sure you love him so you are going to have to love him enough to suggest anger management & parenting classes. Think about the long term effects on your son. Childhood trauma is where most alcoholics & addicts & criminals real problem stems from.

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The screaming and threatening to leave a child for being a child is absolutely damaging and abusive of him. I would really pour my heart out to him and let him know, first of all, that he’s loved and supported by you as his wife, but that it breaks your heart to see him lape his temper and you want to help. Heal this together. If he won’t, it unfortunately falls on you to protect your son from him. I wish you the best of luck :heart:

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Let me tell you…it doesnt change and will make you resent him

Sounds like your husband is dealing with his own issues. Maybe anger issues? Or just being overwhelmed with the challenge of now having to deal with a rambunctious toddler and a new baby as well. Regardless, it is not okay to scream in the child’s face. That’s only teaching your child that that is how he should handle something that upsets him. I would probably have a talk about what’s really going on with your husband’s mental health, and then go from there to work on the relationship between father and son.

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I would ask him to leave until he gets help. You’re allowing this to happen. End it for your kids. What will happen when he loses all control of his anger? If he’ll scream and threaten a 3 year old, he’s capable of worse.
Show your son you are there to protect him!

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Kick him in the emotional nuts and tell him to man up.

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Video this behavior. When he sees it hes gonna be mad but he can’t unsee it.

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Try to video it and show him.

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If he were to go to the Elementary School and watch how they handle things. Those people could tame crocodile.

If he keeps threatening that he will leave, maybe your son keeps acting out, hoping he’ll leave :woman_shrugging:
Time for an ultimatum, momma. Either he fixes it, or he’s out.
Constantly screaming in a child’s face can cause a lot of damage for your son emotionally down the line.

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Before I had children, I took a few psychology classes and child developmental classes to better handle my children. It taught me what was normal and what wasn’t. I myself came from an abusive familiy (both parents) so I too didn’t know what was normal and what expect. I would highly recommend it to all parents In Helping their children grow up healthily mentally and physically. Your husband is showing abuse however he himself might not know it bc he see everyone else doing it or it’s also g.j ow he grew up. Its normal to him but I’ll let you know now, it’s not on, it will get worse and that’s abuse.

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Omg what a dick out the door with him why are you allowing this your his mother.Hes not much of a man if he’s threatening a 3 year old that he’s leaving