My husband shares a child with his ex and she holds the child against him: Advice?

My husband’s ex and he share a child, and she didn’t tell him she was pregnant until he publically announced he was dating me… Anyway, time goes by. The baby is here, and I actually had gotten pregnant too. I was five months with our son when the baby was born. I have always been neutral even when the girl spoke about my deceased mother and said she wanted my child to die and how she would cut him out of my stomach and throw us in a ditch… Long story short, she has been very bitter and doesn’t allow my husband to have any type of relationship with his daughter; he barely knows anything about her honestly. And this young lady, I use that term loosely, uses that little girl as a pawn and I’m so sick of it… I’ve still always encouraged him to try and be there, he didn’t want to get court-involved, everything was okay for a while until she said she was going to “hang my nigger baby from a tree and I would come outside to him hanging with a blue face,” and I finally snapped and went to beat her ass and ever since then we stepped back drastically bc it was always drama every time she texted him even when they were cordial she was talking shit about myself and our son… Now she has been lying and posting on her social media (she has me blocked) lying saying she’s been sleeping with him and just a bunch of drama! She also tried to make up a story in September of 2019, stating she crept off and slept with him and was pregnant, which was a bald-faced lie being we obviously live together how would that happen. The moral of this story is I think my husband should sign his rights over. Obviously, this will have to be paraphrased bc it is long. It is so much more to the story. Still, I’m just so over the drama over this baby that he doesn’t know and she isn’t allowing him or his family to know, and I’m tired of my children being talked about (I’m now seven months pregnant with our daughter) and court isn’t an option she won’t take him, we honestly don’t want to take her it’s just the drama she wants… am I wrong for wanting him to completely sign his rights over? My family and friends don’t think I’m wrong. I’ve been nice enough. Also, I may add I’ve tried several times to be cordial even after the comments about my mother and child. I’ve come out of my pocket multiple times to help provide milk and Pampers she purposely didn’t breastfeed to make us buy Similac and then said the baby was allergic to Similac and bought the expensive ass Enfamil everything is a meal ticket w her she does everything purposely to feel like she’s taking away from our household and children

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I would just go to court and get visits set up with child drop off pick up with natural party there and keep communication only about child

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I don’t think taking away his rights as a father is the correct thing to do and does he even want to do that. Signing over your rights is giving up your own blood your own family can he live with that? I think him bringing her to court is what he should do

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Paternity test for sure. Then court. Have a neutral party drop off and pick up. Limited communication with mom.

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Take her to court, establish paternity, set up visitation and a no contact order. Have someone else do exchanges with the child. He shouldn’t sign his child over. There is a way through this through the courts and you need to stop engaging with her completely. Support your husband and keep record of the havoc she is causing and a judge will put a stop to it very quickly or she will go to jail.

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Why the f would you want him to sign his rights over? His ex is crazy, not him. What his ass needs to do is go to court and get this all put on paper. If she’s threatening you then you need to get the cops involved ASAP. If he doesn’t go to court then deal with it. If you won’t get Law enforcement involved for the death threats then deal with it. You’re feeding into her drama every time you respond.

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My personal opinion, I think it is absolutely absurd to sign rights over to a child because of the other parent and just as absurd for a spouse to encourage that! Take that bitch to court and be done with it. That child is your husband’s child! Your children’s sibling! Who cares what she is saying?! That has everything to do with her and her issues. That behavior should be motivation for you and your husband to go for custody or visitation because the mother sounds unstable.

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document all her nastyness and take her crazy ass to court also get an order of protection,shes threatening you

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Go to court the only way to handle this is to get a lawyer and make sure you have evething in writing and a motion for parenting time. Sorry your going threw this I don’t understand why people have to be like this

Imagine thinking that just because you live together someone can’t cheat :rofl:

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If she isn’t allowing him or his family to see the baby, more than likely he isn’t even on the birth certificate. Rise above the drama, you both need to block her from all social media and on your phones. If there is no visitation, there should be no contact. If he wants visitation rights, he needs to go through the court and determine paternity first. I don’t think he can just sign his rights over, there has to be another man willing to accept responsibility!

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I was “co parenting” for 2 years with my step kids momma she does the same shit and now that me and my husband have a daughter she holds his kids against him One of them is not even his anyways they have Nothing court ordered other than child support. Well he does not make much i have to stay home with my daughter because we dont get goverment assistance so cant afford to pay 600 a month for her to go to daycare its just cheaper and easier for me to stay home so he has gotten behind so because of that and because he wont have a relationship with her when its been ok all these years that she contacted me to get the kids not him. Anyways we have stepped back completely we dont ask to see them we dont call it hurts him but its not worth the drama i would never ask him to sign his rights away regaurdless of how you feel thats his daughter and one day she will come looking for her daddy i would just drop it yall dont contact her

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Court is an option. He can get a lawyer and go to court and fight for his rights. Worst case he pays child support and gets visitation. Best case he gets full custody if you guys can prove ger unfit at all… I think it is very wrong for him to sign his rights away. I mean its not that babys fault. Would you want him to sign off rights to your baby?? No you wouldnt… And its not okay to ask him to pick you over his child to begin with… And that is exactly what you are asking him to do… To choose you over his daughter. See if he left you she would probably let him see his child. Shes a crazy bitch for sure, but as a mother i just dont understand how you could ask that of him

Family court is there for a reason. Given these details it doesn’t sound life a safe or sane environment for this child and maybe he would get full custody. Establish paternity, it might not be his child but if it is they both deserve a relationship with each other.

As for the issues between you and her, take screenshots, go to the police and get an order of protection.

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You need to help his daughter go for custody that’s not fair on that kid her mother needs help and by the sounds of it will probably have a better chance in life without her

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Go to court. She is alienating him from the child which is a form of child abuse. Keep all documentation text messages and anything else you can to show how crazy she is. Gain custody and make her pay child support.

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So because she made some very ridiculous comments, he should sign his rights away? You need help :thinking:

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I would have her ass charged for death threats against you and your baby, file for a restraining order. Second, your husband should get over whatever fear he has and take her to court and file for 50/50. His daughter should not have to suffer not seeing her father because the mother is a sociopathic lunatic.

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Hold UP a minute, she didn’t announce she was pregnant UNTIL he went public with y’alls relationship??? And you THINK there’s NO WAY he would still be sleeping with her? If She was PREGNANT AND YOU WERE DATING HIM…HELLO…He had BOTH of you pregnant at the same time…

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So instead of getting a legal custody agreement, that can include limited communication and 3rd party baby passers, you want him to give up the rights to his own child? You want to keep the schoolyard nonsense instead of pushing your man to be a responsible father? I dont think i could share a bed with a man that just throws his baby away like that.

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