My husband is a good father when he is good. We had our daughter eight months ago. He has been very loving, attentive, caring, etc. since birth. However, he struggles with his temper in general in life. He sees an anger therapist (per my request) as he often has one reaction (anger) to anything. He has never physically assaulted me or anyone, but emotional/verbal can be bad enough. He does not do this every day, but whenever he is frustrated, he will get upset. Most recently, he watches our daughter when I go to work, and he wakes up with her primarily. He will get frustrated at her at times when she is crying and tell her to shut up or knock it off. I yell at him, but this is rare for him to do. When I do, he tells me I am overreacting and that it’s really not a big deal. I have given him an ultimatum, he needs to work on it, or he needs to leave. I don’t fear of him hurting her, but I do fear eventually his words will hurt her. It is one thing to do to me, another to do to her…I will not stand for that. My question is, what would you do? Please don’t judge too harshly for either party…i am just trying to figure out what to do for my marriage and my daughter…Daycare is not an option. Neither is quitting my job as I make the majority of the money. I just feel sad and lost. I love my husband, but my daughter comes first…
If he’s losing his temper enough to yell at an 8 month old infant, he probably shouldn’t be left alone with her.
Leave him. She’s 8 months old for pete sake.
I’d leave. my ex started like this then it was items being through or broken near me. It does get worse if it’s not stopped. Please leave for both of you. Maybe if he fixes up, you can work it out. You need to leave now xx
She is a baby she cannot control her crying. He is an adult and can control his yelling.
Just because the baby won’t remember doesn’t mean it isn’t still abuse. My ex was the same way with our child, and I flat out told him if he was going to keep screaming at her, he could find somewhere else to live.
If he’s yelling at your eight-month-old right in front of you imagine what he could do with you not around. If his temper is that bad you need to leave￼…
Dear, I agree w/ you, words can and do hurt!! If he can’t get it under control do leave!! Yelling at a baby is pretty dumb and will not do any good!!!
I would say it’s not even about leaving him that I’m concerned with. He shouldn’t be alone with the child if he can’t mentally handle it
He’s yelling at an 8 month old? Are you serious? Gtfo!!!
How has this happened more than once without you losing your shit?
All it takes is a bad enough day and someone will get hurt.
Shes 8 months old and he is yelling at her that’s never okay . I wouldn’t trust him with her by himself bc if he is doing that in front imagine what he is doing when you’re not around . Tbh it just doesnt sound safe at all
It is never okay to yell at an 8 month old. Stick with your ultimatum. If he doesn’t stop, leave. That could do serious damage to your daughters mental health.
I’d make him take parenting classes too. Obviously the anger classes arent working and I’m a lil bit scared for your baby it only takes one moment to snap. Maybe you can find another care giver for your child too
Don’t leave that baby alone with him.
My own sister started out with yelling then eventually abuse…she would scream at her 1 year old starting when she was 6 months. I made her move in with me 2 keep an eye on them but it got worse and when she grabbed my niece by the arm and threw her across the room i was done…i threw her ass down the stairs and told her 2 get out but she wasnt taking her kids…it does get worse
Tell him not to yell at the baby. She’s only 8 months old
I mean…has no one else lost their shit? Been aggravated? I dont think that makes him a future abuser.
I’d talk to him about consciously realizing when he feels this way and find a new therapist.
Cause we as mommas go thru PP and its absolute hell. When the man has issues, hes abusive and angry and it’s time to leave, when it sounds like anxiety is the problem and not anger.
First off, document EVERYTHING. If he starts to yell at her start recording and call him out. Record his yelling and his reaction to you. Secondly start making arrangements to leave. Thirdly file for emergency custody and push for supervised visits.
If you do not want to leave, go with him to his therapy appointment and mention this to his therapist. Maybe coming from an outside party it will get through his head. ￼