My husband takes advantage of the fact that I am a SAHM: Thoughts?

I am a stay at home, mom, and my husband takes advantage of me. Our daughter is almost 3, and I’m working on potty training plus I do everything else…pack lunches, cook dinner, laundry, clean, etc. He doesn’t do anything to help. When dinner time comes, he just sits down. He doesn’t even make his plate. When he is done, he just gets up and sits on the couch. I feel like I am drowning, and I need a little help, especially when he comes home. I need a break…I ask him to help with bath time, and it’s a full-on argument. I understand he works, but I don’t sit down all day either. What can I do? I would love not to do anything one day so he can see just how much I do. I’m at my breaking point.

13 Likes

I agree you have. To do most of the household chores since you are at home. Hubby needs to spend some time with his daughter, these young years go by so quickly, he needs to help with bath time while she is small since not appropriate when she is older. He could take her out to McDonald’s once a week while you soaked in tub or went out with a girlfriend for 2 hrs then he can watch tv. Just a little break means a lot & let’s the child know Daddy loves her too!! Good luck!! God Bless

I take care of my kids when I was a stay at home mom. I needed a break so I would just up and leave. Take a shower and have me time. I would feed the kids dinner be ready and I’d let him know and go on about my business. If the kids got hurt and got into something he had no choice but to deal.

1 Like

Ask him for help. Just start with small things at first. Make a chores list for everyone including your daughter. My husband don’t like to do nothing either but he’s a roofer and works very hard so I try not to ask him for alot but I do ask him for help with the house.

Well. If you don’t fix his plate. He will have to do it himself. And then the conversation can begin. Your his partner. Not his mom. He’s a grown man. Not a child. It’s one thing to be at home and do all the household duties since he’s the only one working but by no means should he be acting like that

1 Like

I ran away one day and left him home alone with our Son still in diapers…one heck of a lesson, especially since I walked out and called a family member from a friends house…best of luck and God Bless.

I am a stay at home mom and pretty much do most things,but I would never fix my husbands plate,he has 2 hands! He always helps me with getting everyone’s plates and does showers. He has to help,even a little!

3 Likes

I feel your pain ! I have 3 kids work 48 hours a week clean, do every thing for our children while he just works on his personal 3 wheelers 4 wheeler . And no he doest work at all . I just stay strong for my kids .

1 Like

Yes I agree tell him how you feel and what you need. He is husband and Dad he needs to help. If not stop doing anything for him. Just do for your kid

2 Likes

Mans perspective here. I work two job. At the same time, I helped my girl out. I cook alot, clean for her, occasionally bath the baby, do laundry. Y do I do it sometimes, because this beautiful woman pushed out a living baby. She needs time to heal, time to go out and just be alone to herself. Some men needs tough love because they are incapable of understanding that their women needs help. She did not ask me to help her but common sense says I have to. Relationship is 50/50 period.

2 Likes

Tell him he helped u make those babies and if u need 5 mins to yourself when he gets home sometimes, suck it up and handle shit. Just bc he works outside the home doesn’t mean shit! Lots of dads work outside the home AND help their women when they get home!

1 Like

Uh.
I bet he makes his own plate if you just didn’t :woman_shrugging:t3: sometimes I make my husband’s plate and sometimes I don’t. Today he cleaned the entire house while I took my exam and the boys were at daycare. He works second shift. I’ll probably clean it next but I don’t kill myself to keep up with every little mess. If he even mentions it that means he noticed it needs done and well… He can do it. I do what I can. That’s about it.

I am a new Sahm. I quit working a year and a half ago. Kids are 17 ,10, 5, 3. We also have a 62 and a 29 year old here. I demand help. Yard, clothes, shopping. My husband the 29byear old are working full time but they still have to do their part. Earning is a big contribution but that’s not all. They help or go without comforts. If I cook someone else cleans up. If I wash and dry someone helps fold and hang, if i sweep, someone helps mop. The yard I get all hands on deck. The 3 year old picks up sticks before we mow the grass. Pitch in or tell me where to send your next birthday card. You wont be here.

1 Like

My husband say stop fixing his plates of food, stop doing his laundry!! Leave the table as is and say you can help with bath time or clean the table! This is from my husband!

2 Likes

Your problem is not the house work your problem is you both have fallen in a daily routine…you need to go out with your lazy husband…and have time for both…so try to talk about that get someone to take care of your baby and enjoy life…good luck

Put your foot down,what woman can’t do what a Man does these days ,honey you deserve all that he does your job is hard for you to tending to a man like him, mine gets some too ,but he returns the love, and thanks me. Everyday!

I’ve always worked outside the home, he didn’t work. Once the kids started school, he stopped doing anything to help. Most days he was in bed until after 1, then on the computer or watching tv the rest of the day. I begged, cried, screamed, etc…for years to no avail. It took until my girls were preteens before I finally decided that I only wanted to “raise” 2 kids, and I left. I felt disrespected, and no matter how much love there is, respect is vital in a marriage!

1 Like

Do exactly that, nothing. Don’t cook, don’t clean, don’t pack anything. And when complains tell him since he thinks you don’t do anything, than you won’t. Help or to do it himself.

4 Likes

You are a stay at home mom with one child and can’t handle things? You are in big trouble girl!!!

1 Like

If you make yourself a doormat, he will wipe his feet on it!