My husband thinks he failed my daughter because she got pregnant at 18: Advice?

I’ve been married for 13 years and I have 3 kids from a previous marriage. And my oldest daughter who is 18 just told us she’s pregnant. My husband not her bio dad is thinking he failed her. How do I explain to him it’s not his fault?

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Honestly no matter how much we try to teach them, when the heat of the moment comes what we say goes out the window. Remind she is an adult, even though to him she is still his little girl. All the other thoughts and fears will go away once he sees her with his grandchild.

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She’s basically an adult, just because she didn’t get pregnant after HIS designated age he had set doesn’t mean he has done anything wrong,and neither has she, it was her body and her choice.
You can’t always control them.

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As long as you guys stand behind her and support her then no one failed her!

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Is she graduated? Technically she’s an adult at 18 you have done your job! Even at 15 if she got pregnant as long as SHE takes care, owns up then you did your job.

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There is no designated age to have a baby. As long as she takes care of her child, you’ve both done well.

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He didnt fail her at all. Failing her would be not supporting her and being their for her.

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Better than me had my first at 14.

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She’s 18 that’s a huge proud moment in today’s society… I had my first child at 14 (product of rape) married at 15 by 18 I had 4 kids (including twins)

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He is clearly a very loving father if he feels that way. Sometimes things just happen no matter how much we try and guide them other ways. The fact that he clearly loves her means he never failed her. He is a great dad.

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He sounds like an awesome father. He shouldn’t beat himself up, its ultimately her decision. All kids end up doing whatever they want .

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She’s 18. And tbh at the end of the day a baby is a blessing! Just love your daughter accept what has happened and love the baby.

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Keep supporting her with love and advice where needed. This is her life and now he will have a beautiful grandchild. Look to the positives.

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She’s an adult. Yes, she may be young, but that doesn’t mean you’ve failed her. You can’t prevent her from having sex. The best thing you can do at this point is to just be there for her.

Sadly. Some children will defy their parents regardless. Statistically speaking having a baby at 18 is a disaster :woman_shrugging:t3: Try to communicate that to her, and try to get her looking towards a future. College. success. That’s the parents job to mold and hold these expectations.

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I got pregnant at 16 had my daughter at 17 and my parents couldn’t have done anything different. Kids will be kids but my daughter made the woman I am today. I was young but I quickly had to learn responsibilty. I was a single mom. My parents helped but I had to pay them to watch her while I finished school and worked and I had to pay rent. I thank my parents for that because I didn’t have any more kids until I was on my own and they showed me what it was too be an adult. They didn’t just jump in and do everything for me. My advice is just be there for her and support her through the journey because it’s a rough one.

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Its not his fault or your fault. She is 18 and old enough to know better. Maybe she has made a life befire she has made her life but she will learn the hard way. But you and your husband can dtand tall eith her now. Dhe will need the 2 of you to be thete for her and the baby. Help her decide if dhe is kerping the baby or adopting the baby out. Lots of good if not great moms grow up with thier babies. I was 20 when I had my first and I grew up with her.

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We can only do the best we can. Our kids are going to still make their own choices at times. She felt comfortable enough to tell you guys right ? Just let him know he didn’t fail her and the best thing he can do is stand by her now with you throughout this whole thing. He should feel proud to be such a caring father . Kids don’t always have that.

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How is it his fault? Did HE get her pregnant? :joy: Seriously unless he had sex with her he has no reason to blame himself. Shes 18. You can’t lock her in her room or watch her every move. You can’t force her bf to wrap it up or make her use bc. I’m sure you both did your best to teach her about safe sex & gave her support. What counts now is that you’re supportive of her now.

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Speaking from experience I got pregnant at 15 and by no way did my parents fail at being parents!!! I will say that again, it’s nothing y’all did wrong! I made the choice to have sex and knew the consequences and so did she! I raised my son with the help of my parents and still graduated with honors and still had a life my parents are proud of! They did nothing wrong so please don’t think y’all failed her bc you didn’t! Be there for her through it all and let her show you how much you did do for her bc it will show through her child! :heart:

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