My husband told me he didn't want to come to my first baby appointment: Advice?

How would you feel if your husband/partner said he was ok not going to the first appointment (I’ll be 11 weeks so would be a good ultrasound…) I know it’s a long appointment, but we were going to meet there so he could leave after the scan, and I stay for all the extra fun. His mom, who has never watched our son, even offered, and he still said he would be ok with just a video and watching our son himself. It’s right at his nap time, so part of me wants to say fine, that’s ok since he’ll nap better in his crib anyways :woman_shrugging:t2: He of course, now is saying he’ll go because I looked bummed, but now I feel like I’m dragging him lol. Guess I was just taken back since he came to all the ultrasounds last time for our son


Make his ass go again lol only time my boyfriend has been able to go was just to first appt

Maybe he didnt think the first ones were that important after he saw what it actually entailed and is saying so now.

My bf didnt go to a single one until I was 8 months along. Had to keep regular track of the baby’s weight and my placenta so had plenty of opportunities to go with me. Just didn’t make the time to. Maybe he doesnt share the excitement yet, being it is your very first appt and there isnt a whole lot to see.


My husband went to as many as he could. We’ve had really scary experiences so he makes sure we are alright. I would ask.why

My younger daughter’s father went to the appointment they did all the major scans and the gender one thats it I was okay with that. My older daughter her father went to all but one. That was fine to.

First appointment vs first ultrasound is different. I didn’t bring him to a single OB appointment but he went to 3 out of 4 ultrasounds. And he only missed the one because it was a surprise/urgent one while he was out of state for work…But things are different with covid now so idk if that has an impact on it at all for u guys…but yeah It would totally bum me if he didn’t want to come to the first ultrasound… but I guess its way different for dads than moms… idk :woman_shrugging:t2: would still be bummed

My partners not even allowed to come to mine thanks to COVID but the ultrasound tech has let me take video and pictures at least. It’s not really a big deal to me (sucks but it is what is) just talk to him and tell him it would mean a lot to you if he came.

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My boyfriend came to every single one until covid happened. And even then, he drove me there and would wait in the car while i texted him.

He may not be allowed to come at all. My husband hasn’t been able to come due to Covid my entire pregnancy. I’m 33 weeks. :sob: It’s def a different experience this time.

My man isn’t allowed back with me, not that big of a deal.

We are currently 18 weeks along. My husband makes sure he knows when our appts are scheduled and he made sure to ask off for our first appt/ultrasound and he went to our last appt so he could hear the babies heart beat on the doppler and he’s already made sure to ask off for our next ultrasound/appointment. I would ask him why he doesn’t want to be at the first one.

My bf doesn’t go to any of my appointments other then the gender scan at 20 weeks since we arent allowed to take pics or videos of the ultrasound. Im 32 weeks and have an appt Thursday and he doesnt even remember i have one coming up.

My husband didn’t come to any of my appointments-except my 20 week scan and one appointment where we got the results of our genetic testing. He probably would have gone to more if I had asked…but I didn’t feel the need to have him participate in every single appointment when most of them were uneventful. So I wouldn’t care much…

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Pretty sure he can’t go back with you anyway. Hospitals have strict policy now with COVID.


Honestly there isn’t anything for him to do except sit there and look useless. Take this appointment as an opportunity to talk to your doctor about personal pregnancy issues. Some questions may make you embarrassed to ask in front of your husband. And even more will make him uncomfortable. He will be there when it’s time for the ultrasounds, but other than that there is no real need for him to go to the first appointment. This one is all about YOU and for YOU…congratulations on your pregnancy!!


I get it’s a bummer but men arent really connected from the very beginning like women are. Just talk to him, let him know that even though he doesnt feel the pregnancy physically its import for him to bond and the best way to do that is to go to the appointment. If it’s important to you express that. He wont know unless you tell him. My husband went to mine because he knew it was important to me. We’ve had multiple pregnancy losses and he knew if something happened he would regret not going. Just communicate with him. It is so important.


My husband didn’t go to any off mine but that cuz we have 3 boys and noone would ever watch them so he watched the boys and I would let him know how everything was when we could find out what we was haven I didn’t find out at our 20 weeks mark i had a friend come with me and she knew what we what we was haven tell we got back to my husband.

16 weeks here. My boyfriend went to the first one and plans to go to the big ultrasound one. I don’t plan to make him take off work for the rest, though.

He might be wanting to care for your child so you can enjoy the appointment without your child distracting you.