My husband told me he didn't want to come to my first baby appointment: Advice?

How would you feel if your husband/partner said he was ok not going to the first appointment (I’ll be 11 weeks so would be a good ultrasound…) I know it’s a long appointment, but we were going to meet there so he could leave after the scan, and I stay for all the extra fun. His mom, who has never watched our son, even offered, and he still said he would be ok with just a video and watching our son himself. It’s right at his nap time, so part of me wants to say fine, that’s ok since he’ll nap better in his crib anyways :woman_shrugging:t2: He of course, now is saying he’ll go because I looked bummed, but now I feel like I’m dragging him lol. Guess I was just taken back since he came to all the ultrasounds last time for our son

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My husband never went to any of my appointments. I’m pretty sure the only one he went to was when I was a week past my due date and they were going to do an ultrasound so he went with me. I personally didn’t have a problem with it, but everyone is different. Multiple births too.

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I used to go to my baby appointments by myself unless his work schedule allowed. Mostly on my own because I worked near the doctors office. Except the time that I found out I had miscarried…it was terrible. He felt terrible. I was never mad that he couldn’t go to the appointments.

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Four pregnancies, one adoption of newborn and toddler sibling. Seven children in all. My husband attended one ultrasound. He is the best involved, hands on father I could possibly pray for. We are older parents and I’m sure that colored his reactions. Once the babies were born, he has been amazing. I was perfectly fine with him working to support the family while I gestated. As long as he was there supporting during birth and afterwards.

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I didnt like my husband going with me to the y appointments. He came to a few with me and that was fine. I always see other men there looking so uncomfortable. Guess its only special when it’s the first but my last 2 pregnancies I could have done alone and been fine, birth and all.

My boyfriend missed all of my appointments because of covid. Idk what its like where you live but in my town we can’t have extra people at appointments unless you’re disabled.

At this point because of Covid bs no one is allowed even in the waiting room… It’s ridiculous, but is so… If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m disabled and high risk my husband wouldn’t bother coming up to the hall with me because of their idiotic policies… I record ultrasounds for him to see after… Don’t stress at this point and hope he’ll be able to be at the birth…

My guess is that he assumes he cant go due to covid…and someone has to watch your first child. Sure, his mom offered, but if yall havent had her watch him before, he might realize the whole time, you might be more focused on your son and mother in law and how they are doing.

So, i would say, it sounds like he is being quietly supportive and pragmatic. That is, expect to do what needs to be done, but willing to be where you want him to be.

I think every appt. Is important. If a father is interested and cares, he’ll go, unless COVID says he cant. 1st baby or 12th baby, it doesnt matter. It shouldn’t take away from the fact that ur having this beautiful baby coming into this world. If absolutely NO ONE can watch ur other baby then ok, but it sounds like someone is offering for him to go and he’s just choosing to stay hm regardless like he just doesnt wanna be there. And that’s a shame for a father to just not wanna be there. Work will be there tomorrow and next week and prob for years. But you will only have this experience for the next 40 weeks and then itll be gone. Not every pregnancy is the same for each child, just be there and go to the appts. And be supportive, it’s the least they can do in these times.

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Mine never went to any with me. I always asked and he told me he didn’t want the baby anyways and he told me that. But he also beat me up on a regular to try to get me to miscarry. He did come to the birth but only because he had just beat me up pretty bad and he was afraid I was gonna tell the doctor so he’d get in trouble. I left him right after and in 17 years he has never seen his child. Be grateful that he just wants to be a dad.

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Mine didn’t go to any besides the anatomy scan. He was working, and I was fine with that. Save days off for birth or any complications.

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Right now my husband can’t go to my appointments, I’d be understanding and just wait. If possible.once he can see you bump and feel the baby moving he’ll hopefully be more excited.

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Tell him you want to enjoy this awesome moment with him. They don’t always get the emotional part. And don’t even bother with guilt that you are dragging him there. He will appreciate it later. There could be all kinds of things going on in his head. It just not as real to them as soon as it is for us.

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Honestly before you start bugging him to go with you, you need to find out if he can even go, because of covid alot of doctors appointments are patient only unless patient is a minor then it just one parent. And at the 11weeks appointment even they do a ultrasound it doesn’t really look like a baby yet, I would wait tell the 20week ultrasound to really bug him to go with you, that the first ultrasound you really can see it’s a baby

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going on 16 yrs with my hubs and 5 kids. he didnt go to all appointments. he did with the first as of course it was all new. he went to the ones to find out genders mostly. I only cared about delivery. that he was to be at.

Did he say he didnt want to or is he just trying to be helpful with your other child and you are over thinking the situation. Seems like he just wants to help and make you happy… if you want him to go with you, tell him.

First one is different. I don’t think my ex came with me to any for the second baby. He went to all for the first

My husband went with my first daughter. But not with this one. I’m 21 weeks and he is fine just seeing the pictures. He said he just wants to hold her when she comes out lol

My husband only went to 1 appt with me. He had to work and it really didn’t bother me. My son is 8 and we are still happily married. I recorded the heart beat for him.

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My husband didn’t go to all of them. I didn’t expect him to though because he worked and we needed him to work.