Recently, my husband told me he is no longer in love with me. Some back story: we have been together for over 15 years. We have had our ups and downs. We have stood beside each other through some rough times. Over the summer, I was so stressed out due to work and family issues that I had to take some time off work to get myself together. For a while, it seemed everything was good. He was helping me with my issues. Fast forward a month, we have a fight one day. I was ready to walk out the door, but really wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on because it seemed to come out of nowhere. The next morning, he tells me that he loves me but was not in love with me any longer. I urged him to go to a therapist because he seemed depressed and stressed out. He went to a few sessions, but stopped. I have asked him how he was feeling not that long ago. He gave me a vague answer. Tonight, I asked him of he wanted to go to marriage counseling. He sad that we already tried that (three years ago), so I took that as a no. I am not sure what else to do at this point, so I am leaving for a few days. It hurts to do that. I love him and our son, but he does not seem to want to be with me any longer.
That’s sad he’s not wanting to go. Love is a choice not a feeling like many think it is. He should want to go and try and save this. But if not just walk away gracefully. I’m sorry
I would recommend you see a therapist to help you deal with the hurt and uncertainty you are facing. We can’t make others feel what they don’t.
Sadly people who have been together a long time sometimes grow apart. People change. I hope that you guys can work it out but sometimes it’s time to take different roads. I’m sorry that you are hurting and I hope you will be happy and have peace no matter what the outcome is.
If he tells you this, believe him. That’s the hard part.
Id stay gone. Can’t force someone to love you. It’s tuff. Won’t be easy but it will get better. He’s being honest
I would see a therapist on my own. Keep trying to talk to him and work through it. I’m not one to say give up, I believe you should fight for the one you love. I couldn’t leave my wife especially if I thought she or we were depressed. I know how hard a relationship is, and I know how easy it is to feel like walking away is the best option… But I don’t think it would be the best option… I think I wouldn’t have any doubts if I was done.
Prayer the only answer leave it up to God he is the author and finisher of everything.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Unfortunately people change and sometimes that change forces them to grow in different directions. It’s not a reflection on you or him, just another stage in life. I know it hurts, like the sun being ripped out of the sky… but if you can still Co parent gracefully and with love, then there is NO telling what the future holds. Take time to fall back in love with yourself…
Unfortunately we can’t control our feelings. This happened with myself and my first husband. I simply wasn’t in love with him. It hurt us both to divorce. We had small kids at the time and it hurt THEM which in turn hurt us even more. We have both moved on, we put our children above all of our feelings, and are still friends to this day, 23 years later. On our way to one of our grandchildrens birthday parties this afternoon even. Our kids and grandkids come before everything
Loving and being in love are two different feelings. Loving lasts forever being in love is a fleeting passion.
I was with somebody for 12 years and we were married for 10 and we grew apart. He is the one that wanted out as well. It was very hard for me. I suffered a lot and this was five years ago. To make matters worse I found out six months after he left he already had somebody pregnant. That was so unbelievable to me because he was already paying child support on two children from his first marriage and he hated paying it but he did it because he loves his girls. So I couldn’t even believe he would get somebody else pregnant. We never had children I was not able to and we never really wanted any because he had two already￼￼. I can just tell you looking back as hard as it was and as much as I suffered I know that it was the right decision. I am overall much happier and realize that it was for the best. I didn’t see that at first but now I do. Big hugs to you because I understand how you feel. My husband did not even want to go to counseling I did want to go but it never panned out￼. I would probably see a therapist for yourself. If he wants to go let him go it’s not worth trying to get someone to stay that doesn’t want to
I would bet $100 that he is talking with another woman. Either way just walk away
God that’s so hard… I know it’s hard. Believe me. But honestly as much as it’s going to hurt, you need to throw in the towel. You’ve given it everything you have and you can proudly walk away. Good luck.
If you are leaving for a few days… my suggestion is
Truly give him space and time to think.
I really, really feel for you. I’m not sure what advice to give you, bcoz it’s the worst thing. I’m getting the feeling that my husband is not 100% committed to us anymore. However, trust that you will have the best outcome for yourself. Don’t forget who you are and what you need. You’re important.
Have him read the Five love languages and you work on it too . Good luck also sit and pray for one another in front of one another .
It is was it isn’t. Somethings are just over , accept it and move on.
Never beg anyone to stay with you, ever! They will lose all respect, they will not change their feelings and you will hate yourself in the long run for doing it, trust me on this!
You cant force anyone to be part of your life.